Black Angel 1

Black Angel 1

Solomon grunted out for the umpteenth time in frustration. Since morning, he has been trudging  from one office to another, undergoing several interviews, seeking for jobs that seems to be so far away. He was fagged out and exhausted from the stress. There hasn’t been an employment advert he hasn’t answered to since after his serving, except off curse,, those he wasn’t aware of.

He swallowed hard. He had joined the main bus stop by now, after trudging for almost an hour from the last office he went for interview. Deciding to rest first before venturing home with the sad tidings, he sat down at the bus stop to broad over his predicament.

Solomon was a handsome bloke with a  an attractive, blending chocolate complexion. He had a magnetic and charming aura around him that mostly drew every ladies attention to him although it’s been last since such happened. But doing his school days both in high school and college he had played his game well with his captivating personality and look. Those days were quiet different from now; where a lady can only date you by the weight of your pocket unlike before when a lass dates you for your look in other to pose around to her friends. He smiled wearily to in reminiscences. He was in his early thirties with a nice physique, pointed nose and nice broad lips on a beautiful face with studs of two days unshaved but trimmed bears adoring its oval appearance and with a nice intonation and English accent, he could easily pass for any job interviews. Ruefully, he hasn’t gotten any for the past eight months, he has been seeking for job since after his youth services. Such a pity he thought; staring down at the envelope he carried, containing his second class upper credential and nice resume, yet no luck.

“Naija is so fucked up”, he grunted out inaudibly. “And the city is just thrash”, he muttered out loud enough for the old man sitting beside him to hear it. The man scrutinized him then stood up to broad a bus going to his destination that abruptly rounded the corner. Solomon ordered for a cold Pepsi and gala snack from one of the many road side strangers clustered around the bus stop.  Funny enough, the bus stop that was barely created about ten months ago has become a mall for the traders who had used up a quarter of the seat space meant for civilians waiting for a bus. Obviously the government has noticed such abuse because if they had and made declaration, the police would have been the first to make profit of such pronouncement. They all love  awoof opportunities, Solomon thought as he received the services, paid and then settled to sentence the snack and drink to the prison of his belly.

He took his time, eating the snack with the drink slowly. When he was done, he returned the bottle but he couldn’t relax yet. He needed to stop thinking about his failure and try and look at the bright side even if it was blank for now. A short while later; he managed to relax. He must have drifted off because he was roused up by shouts of thief  thief !. He stared around for the source and found it quiet alright. At the extreme end of the bus stop, commotion rent the air. A large number of people were shouting and clamoring at something in their midst. Solomon though he saw red hair in the midst of all the clarion noise. He sprang up when he actually noticed that the mob were irked and that they were actually hitting someone. He went close in curiosity and froze at the revelation. A lady almost nude except for torn panties and bra and all covered in blood stood helpless in the middle of the mob while they vented their anger on her, hitting her without compassion. Worst still, some brute, shameless men were using the opportunity to finger her in the most uncanny way. It was as if they were dogs savaging their meal. Obviously taking a step further will either save him or maim him, yet he had got to take the bold step, Damn!

To be continued

6 thoughts on “Black Angel 1” by Princes Arah (@sarah)

  1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    Hmmm. Nice Idea, watch typos ‘off curse’. Ke’nam.

  2. Em.. This was riddled with typos…
    Then ur choice of words were inaccurate sometimes e. g clarion noise…

    Words like “bloke” “lass” are slangs and didn’t fit into the writing style

    Then ur sentence construction could be tighter; you want to write so that each sentence conveys a message and grips the reader, some people describes this as “salsa” words…

    Overall, the story doesn’t read like it was set in Nigeria what with ur use of “high school” and “college”

    Does guys have oval face? I used to think dt Ws reserved for the fairer sex ..(Js asking)

    Well done…

  3. Good start to what could be an interesting story, @sarah. I just hope the story isn’t predictable.

    @topazo has spoken my mind on the typos and word usage. Please watch out for tense confusion – I couldn’t figure out whether this story occurred in the past or the present because you were changing tenses anyhow.

    Keep writing.

    1. @topazo thanks for noticing the typoes and tense confusion, I was in a bit rush when I wrote the story. I have taken the corrections though.

  4. @sarah, typos, sentence structure, language style(whether slang or formal conversation), setting/locale, all these areasneed work. good try though. keep writing, and make us keep reading.

  5. despite the typos,,,,,,,,,,,,@SARAH has started a good series………..

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