……soaking up the sun, I was lounging in front of the beach in Bora Bora. Gosh, this place is so beautiful – paradise on earth. The stretch of never ending clear blue-green sea, enclosed by few feets of white sands. The array of luxurious love-shack huts built on stilt above water are both alluring and breathtaking, with palm trees framing the surroundings. #aah life is good! I have been longing to vacation here since forever, I have been gathering all my savings but its never enough and now suddenly I am here! Hmmm….that waiter that handed me my margarita, his shining dark skin polished by the sun. My money says he is from the Dominican Republic…..I can’t wait to………
What tha….?? I was startled awake, still rubbing sleep off my eyes when……
In a split second I slung my fleece robe on and found myself at the door. Smoothing my hair and fumbling with the key I yelled ‘hang on!’ to whoever was on the other side of the door.
I opened the door slowly and peaking out just my face, I forced a smile and greeted ‘morning!’ as cheerily as I could muster. ‘ello laave!’ he bellowed, an amused frown on his face. It’s a delivery, a big ish bulk.
‘You got’a package’ he brought it closer so I can identify the name. ‘Can you sign here please’ he said.
I mutely made a quibble on his electronic pad and thanked him, then closed the door. I zombie-walked into the kitchen and dumped the package without giving it much thought. Then, my mind went back in time and I thought bollocks! I was going to engage in a sexy salsa-rumba dance with that fine Dominican guy in my dream! Wish it was not a dream – I really want to go to Bora Bora.
As the kettle boiled my eyes went to the wall, oh lawd its 2.35pm on Saturday….bugger! No wonder that delivery guy looked amused when I greeted him.
‘Hey baby.’ I spun round to see Kola enter the kitchen, he hugged me from behind and kissed the side of my head. I turned around and kissed him full on the lips, the taste of cool mint reminded me that I have not brushed my teeth. I handed Kola a cup tea and left to brush my teeth. #bet he enjoyed my stanky dead rat breath. #lovely.I planned to relax this weekend after the heavy work shift I did that week. That’s the main reason Kola is here – to help me unwind. I put some music on, then threw some clothes on and waltz to the kitchen to make some food. We were both hungry having spent all our energy few hours earlier. I decided to make something that will be quick yet rich and delicious – so spaghetti bolognaise it is. Soft chicken grilled in the oven, red and green leafy salad, the spaghetti and bolognaise sauce with a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese on top, which melts instantly in the heat from the food. This was what we needed right then, and a couple swigs of red wine #belissima!
We were talking about mundane stuff when Kola noticed the package on the Kitchen diner table. ‘What’s that? He asked. It was delivered earlier. I replied non-nonchalantly.
‘For you?’ he asked me pointedly and fixed his eyes on me. Yeah, I replied. I know where this is going and its not part of my plan for the weekend nor what I need.
‘I don’t remember sending you anything’ he said in a very calm tone. Oh God, the silent tsunami….the storm is near. I see you want to start trouble for nothing, I said in defense.
‘For nothing?’ he fumed, banged his hands on the table and violently pushed it away. Now standing, hovering over me… ‘Is it from that ‘milk bottle’ you were ranting about last night?’ he demanded referring to Adrian. I thought you could not care less, I mused. ‘Excuse me? What was that?’ he hissed through clenched teeth. He is really angry now.
Look K, stop this! I don’t even know who its from for Jude’s sake! ‘Then why don’t we find out huh!’ He snarled.
There is something off when Kola gets like this. He has this sardonic mien that is scary and hard to control. Ok Kola is a very jealous lover but he hardly gets this mad at me, its been a while. Even though he is usually docile, there has always been this dangerous self destructive thing about him.
Before I could blink, he dashed at the package and ripped it open. It was futile trying to prevent him so I folded my arms across my chest watching him….slow bile rising to my mouth.
‘Who the fuck is ‘U’?’ he screamed and threw the package to the wall. I must admit, this level of rage buckled me. I mean I have seen him angry before, smashing things and all but it was never directed at me. Even when he gets angry with me, he would calm down and beg me in the next second.
I pretended to be calm and in control. Kola! He stopped and stared at me seething and breathing fire. I will not have you shout at me and order me about in my own house! I said in a low authoritative tone. Really, what is your problem? If my housemates come in here and see you acting like this and shouting at me….what kind of disrespect will that be? I continued. ‘Are you trying to humiliate me? you have to return that trash! he yelled. ‘I can buy those for you ten times over, anything you want but you can’t keep those! he barked menacingly. I knew better than to fuel his fire so I remained silent.
Then he came to placate me, realizing his saving grace has worn thin and that was my cue. I grabbed the opportunity and said as icily I will not have you like this, you should leave, go and calm down and we will talk later. I ordered in a patronizing tone like I was talking to a child.
In that instant his face crumbled like a 4 year old boy whose ice-cream flapped to the floor. As I walked into my room, I heard this thunder of a roar, a rumbling roar followed by heavy grunting , then screams of exasperation. This has not happened again since Julian – story for another day.
Next, he was in my room….I was sitting on the bean bag with my knees drawn up, my chin resting on my knee and my arms hugged my knees. ‘Omalicha m, I am so sorry’ he was kneeling in front of me cradling my face in his big hands.
‘Why do you do this to me?’ he said in a broken voice.
‘Mmasi you torment me’ he continued. ‘I love you with everything I am’ he was almost choking with sobs. ‘Can’t you see? I want you, all of you, I don’t want to share. So when an intruder threaten us, I feel like I am gonna loose you. I will die if you ever leave me baby.’ I am always very disconcerted whenever he makes this sadistic threat of killing himself whenever he wants to manipulate my emotions.
Now he is sobbing with our foreheads touching, together. Tears were unconsciously running down my cheeks now. I am exhausted and blastedly emotionally drained! Now you know this nauseating side of Kola. Some people may think I am mean but these are some the reasons I have not made Kola permanent in my life or my one and only. He is a mercurial soul….at best he is like a child at Christmas, he loves me and he satisfies me. But he can be bother-line psychotic, mood swings as fickle as the moon, and he is also prone to violent anger bouts albeit I have not had to bear the full brunt of it yet. However, I know it’s a ticking time bomb but before then I still call the shots, I am the master when it comes to matters concerning us.
Come. I whispered. He followed. I rolled out my silk and satin throw and spread it on the floor. He watched me, I beckoned at him and led him to the mat and gently ordered him to lye on his stomach. He obeyed with a relieved smile playing on his lips….I changed the music to a mixed CD I made starting with ‘This woman’s work’ by Maxwell, and a couple of songs by Chrisette Michele, India Arie, Musiq Soul Child and Trey Songs to name a few.
I undressed Kola and undressed myself to my lingerie, then slowly….I rubbed and caressed sweet smelling jasmine oil all over his body and then mine. I kissed every inch of his body before I began the massage using my derrière, as well as my whole body #naked. Flesh to flesh, skin to skin – every inch of our bodies was in intimate closeness as I glided and slithered aided by the soothing oil. An hour later, we were entangled in a heap asleep #naked #stark, thanks to the whole body massage and melodious music.
It was almost 7.25pm, and my whirring ring tone woke me up and almost simultaneously, there was an impatient banging at the front door of the apartment. Oh not again! Who could that be? I peered out of the window and it was Gemma.
‘Hey hun!’ she half screamed and half slurred as I opened the door.
Do you want to break the door? I answered.
What happened to your key? ‘No idea’ she said. ‘I could not find my purse either.’
She half staggered in with her broken shoes in hand. I caught a faint whiff of stale alcohol. Lawd, babe you need a good baptism!
‘Have you got food hun? Som’thin’ greasy?’ You know I don’t do greasy food… I chided her in my head. We both know that so there was no need saying it then, she would not have heard it anyway.
Here, I pushed a plate of spaghetti bolognaise at her. ‘Hmmm…I know I can count on your delicious food’ she said as she savoured the food.
Gemma darling, most people do their ‘walk of shame’ in the morning, how come you are doing yours at this hour? I asked curious because I know there must be a story behind this unusual walk of shame. She gave me an ‘I know what you don’t know’ smile.
She avoided my question – looking me up and down with a mischievous wink and retorted defiantly ‘I see you worked in the oil factory.’ I rolled my eyes and went back to my room.
Kola was fully clothed and about to dash out of the door. Hey! Where are you going? Surprise was registered on my face. ‘Baby I have to run.’ he puffed. What, now? I asked incredulously.
He sucked on my lips and kissed my forehead. ‘Bare s#!t is going down, I will call you!’ and he was out of the door.
‘Oh. My. Days glorious Loubs!’ it was Gemma. ‘Babe are these yours?’ she shouted from the kitchen. She was showing me the shoes, my Christian Louboutin shoes that was the gift package which triggered Kola’s tantrum.
She was surprised at my lack of enthusiasm. ‘wow if someone bought me this fabulous sling-back gold dust loubs worth almost two grand, I would suck his toes for a week!’ she screamed with emphasis. #yuck! I thought, white people and their disgusting fetishes. Good thing her eyes have not graced Usman’s webbed feet #na lie o.
Its not that I don’t like them or that I‘m not grateful, heck I wanted those shoes since like forever.
Its just that I was still miffed that Kola left so abruptly and I would possibly have to sleep alone that night. #that was not my plan nor what I needed.
Those were delivered today, I have not even really looked at them, I said in a sullen voice.
The card with it read ‘I know you would love this’ and signed ‘U’. That made me smile and I shook my head….its Usman still trying too hard.
I have to call him #Usman.
My phone rings…..its the anesthetist #bollocks!