I am not a jealous lover… Part 1

Most of the girls I’ve dated (ask me how many) seem to have this belief that I am a very jealous guy. I dont know the scientific theory they applied (I’m guessing it’s Newton’s law of motion) and how they managed to arrive at the same conclusion but I know that they are so… so… wrong. It is for that reason, and for the sake of future applicants (in my companionship firm) that I’m making clarifications.

Everyone gets jealous at one point or the other for various reasons. It depends on the personality of the ‘jealouser’ and the object of his jealousy – the ‘jealousee’. For the sake of this article, we would focus on jealousy aroused by love and on a particular specie of lover- me!

There are three stages/ types of jealousy associated with my love personality. The first type which is the most intense and aggressive, is what i have termed ‘jealousy of the first order’. In biological terms, this type of jealousy is also called ‘jealousy de prima orden’. Contrary to the thoughts running in your mind, jealousy of the first order is mostly exhibited on a jealousee that is not mine but i intend to own. Hmmm… I know you want some explanation.

If i’m really interested in a relationship, the interlude between when I open my mouth to … you know, and when the lady says yes/ no is usually very intense for me and i tend to be unusually and irrationally jealous. If I thus happen to see the lady with someone else in such compromised proximity even with the cleanest intentions, I can die of jealousy. If she even receives calls from a particular number too much, I begin to research about that number either directly or indirectly.

I’ve told a lot of person’s about jealousy de prima orden, but they feel that I’m just being unnecessarily worried or even stupid. But it’s not my fault; Jealousy of the first order is borne from the fact that I hate competition in relationship matters. This is because no matter how swaggalicious you are, there would always be someone with more swaggaliciousness that can spoil your ‘runs’. That is why i hate replies like ‘I’ll think about it’ and ‘give me more time’. It is better to just tell me a big fat ‘NO’ so that i can face other things (other jealousees actually).

Well… I think i’ve done justice to the explanation. I hope the ladies understand it? Please try to, if you are a lady. You might just be my next jealousee…

Part 2 of the series is coming soon…

4 thoughts on “I am not a jealous lover… Part 1” by Vikart (@Avictomama)

  1. Da Queen (@Estee)

    I really can’t say why I’m laughing all I can say is I enjoyed reading this. kudos!

    1. Vikart (@Avictomama)

      Thanks. @Estee

  2. Very funny article. Try and edit other instalments better.

    Keep it up.

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