My lost and mad friend

My lost and mad friend

We were young and like most children our age we were also stupid and carefree we had no care for the consequences of some of the things we did just like almost everyone passing through life at that age must not have cared too.
It started at that stage in our lives when we first began to take real notice of things around us. One of the things we saw was the smoking of cigarette and marijuana and the drinking of alcohol. It was curiosity that first pushed us into smoking and drinking. Shehu, Abdul and I. We first started by picking up half smoked cigarette thrown by rich smokers because at that time we felt only the rich could afford to do this, and on our unlucky days we had to make do with fully smoked cigarette butts from which we could only manage to salvage a drag or two. With time picking up the cigarette thrown by others became unsatisfactory and so we decided to step our game up. After days of deliberating on who amongst the three of us would be saddled with the big and heavy task of buying the cigarette Shehu and Abdul eventually decided by a vote of two to one that I would bear the cross.
“He will sell to you, you look older than us”. Abdul told me as if I didn’t know that the two of them conspired to choose me. But it was true that I looked older than them even though in reality they were both older than me.
Our fear then was that Mallam Abbah who sold cigarette in the neighbourhood would not sell the cigarette to us because of our age Shehu and Abdul were both eleven while I was only ten then, we had seen the warning on empty cigarette packs that it should not be sold to persons under eighteen years old.
And so one fateful evening I picked up the cross for the three of us. With fear coursing through every part of my being I walked to Mallam Abbahs shop.
“Give me three sticks of benson”. I fearfully told him handing him the money and looking nervously around me for a familiar face but I saw none.
Without a word Mallam Abbah collected the money and gave me the object of my purchase. It was only then I realised that all our fear and worry was actually useless Mallam Abbah had no problems selling cigarette to under age children in fact even if a newly born baby walked up to his shop to buy cigarette he would sell as long as the money was there, it was all he cared for. As I walked up to the street corner where Shehu and Abdul were waiting for me I gave them a thumbs up and watched as the look of fear and apprehension written all over their face disappeared to be replaced by one of joy. Walking as fast as we could with our treasure safely hidden in our pockets we rushed to one of the uncompleted buildings in the area to enjoy our cigarettes. With the realisation of how easy it was to buy cigarette getting alcohol came easy although it was hard to get marijuana sometimes especially when the drug enforcement agents were up and doing.
For a long time we hid our latest indulgence from our parents until Shehu mistakenly and unintentionally allowed his Father catch him smoking. Amongst us he smoked the most, one night when he could not find sleep despite all his search for it he decided to pass the night smoking if sleep was not ready to keep him company he could call on his weed that was always available to heed to his call, when he was sure that every one in the House was asleep he picked up the confidence to light up his weed he was still lost in his own world when his Father woken either by the smell of the marijuana or something else caught him, it was easy for his parents to get a confession and admission from him about his smoking and drinking and who he was doing it with and before we knew it a meeting with the three of us and all our parents was held but despite all their advice, warning and even threats to us to stop we refused to we felt we knew what was best for us.
“They are still living in the stone age, they don’t know that in this modern age everything goes”. We told ourselves refusing to allow their words entry into our deaf ears and closed minds.
Our parents were not the ones that eventually made us stop smoking or drinking in fact the more they tried to make us stop the more we rebelled and refused to give up, the smoking and drinking was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were not satisfied with everything we saw around us all the pain, suffering and misery, all the corruption and miss management of our future, the future which was not in our own hands but in the hands of others who did not really care, this was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were rebels determined to live our lives the way we saw fit and not as they saw fit, the more they tried to make us stop the more we became bold in our new indulgence, it was Abduls madness that eventually laid rest to our rebellion it started almost like nothing he first started by withdrawing himself from us and no matter how hard we tried to find out the problem he refused to tell us as we withdrew from us he started to smoke and drink more the smallest thing made him become angry and violent, and then I think somewhere in his mind or head he also started withdrawing from himself until one morning we woke up and he was gone replaced by someone in torn and tarted clothes, unkempt hair walking, talking laughing and crying with some new invincible friends only he could see.



6 thoughts on “My lost and mad friend” by Mamman Saba Mustapha (@danjuma)

  1. “Our parents were not the ones that eventually made us stop smoking or drinking in fact the more they tried to make us stop the more we rebelled and refused to give up, the smoking and drinking was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were not satisfied with everything we saw around us all the pain, suffering and misery, all the corruption and miss management of our future, the future which was not in our own hands but in the hands of others who did not really care, this was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were rebels determined to live our lives the way we saw fit and not as they saw fit, the more they tried to make us stop the more we became bold in our new indulgence, it was Abduls madness that eventually laid rest to our rebellion it started almost like nothing he first started by withdrawing himself from us and no matter how hard we tried to find out the problem he refused to tell us as we withdrew from us he started to smoke and drink more the smallest thing made him become angry and violent, and then I think somewhere in his mind or head he also started withdrawing from himself until one morning we woke up and he was gone replaced by someone in torn and tarted clothes, unkempt hair walking, talking laughing and crying with some new invincible friends only he could see.”

    You should have broken it down into smaller bits. It was too long.

    ” Our parents were not the ones that eventually made us stop smoking and drinking, in fact the more they tried to make us stop the more we rebelled and refused to give up.

    The smoking and drinking was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were not satisfied with everything we saw around us; all the pain, suffering and misery, all the corruption and miss management of our future by leaders who did not really care.

    This was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were rebels determined to live our lives the way we saw fit and not as they saw fit,and the more they tried to make us stop the more we became bold in our new indulgence.

    No, it wasn’t our parents’ advice that made us stop, it was Abdul’s madness that eventually laid rest our rebellion.

    it started almost imperceptibly, he began to withdraw himself from us. When it became protracted, we began to get worried and no matter how hard we tried to find out the problem he refused to tell us.

    He spent his days alone smoking and drinking in increasing amounts and the smallest thing made him become angry and violent.

    and then I think somewhere in his mind or head he also started withdrawing from himself until one morning we woke up and he was gone, replaced by someone in torn and tattered clothes and unkempt hair walking and talking and laughing and crying with some new invincible friends only he could see.”

    This is my own little attempt at re-organizing the story.

    Also there were some spelling errors that needs working on..

    Nice story

  2. Mamman Saba Mustapha (@danjuma)

    Thanks, love it when someone criticises my writing & shows me a way to make it better. As for the spelling errors I can put the blame on the printers devil or should I say writers devil.

  3. A straightforward, realistic and sad tale, @danjuma. When you write “the smoking and drinking was our own way of telling our parents and the world that we were not satisfied with everything we saw around us”, it would have been nicer to see exactly what the MC and his friends were not satisfied with. This was what drove them to smoking, so I think it’s an important thing to know.

    This was reasonably well written, but it could have done with more punctuation to break up many of the paragraphs. For example,

    For a long time we hid our latest indulgence from our parents until Shehu mistakenly and unintentionally allowed his Father catch him smoking. Amongst us he smoked the most {full stop} One night when he could not find sleep despite all his search for it {comma} he decided to pass the night smoking {semicolon} if sleep was not ready to keep him company he could call on his weed that was always available to heed to his call{full stop} When he was sure that every one in the House was asleep he picked up the confidence to light up his weed {full stop} He was still lost in his own world when his Father {comma} woken either by the smell of the marijuana or something else caught him{full stop} It was easy for his parents to get a confession and admission from him about his smoking and drinking and who he was doing it with {comma} and before we knew it a meeting with the three of us and all our parents was held {comma} but despite all their advice, warning and even threats to us to stop we refused to stop; we felt we knew what was best for us.

  4. nice write@danjuma, @TolaO, I like your style of critism, they are not left with no precription, They prescribe the cure to the remedy.

  5. @danjuma.Nice write. I think @topazo and @TolaO have said it all. Kudos!

  6. Nice story, though editing is done as @topazo has said.

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