Hangout pt1

Hangout pt1

His hands gripped the steering wheels tightly, he was on his way home after work; stuck in the evening traffic he looked at his wristwatch 8.30pm stared back “am late already” at that instant his phone rang, timi was on the caller ID, he picked it up

“Chairman where you dey Na”

‘Am on my way joor, I closed late

“Sharp sharp boys are waiting for you” timi said as he hung up

i was heading to badmus’s place where my friends currently were its being long since the hung out, but we always set aside a day, 2nd Saturday in April to meet to discuss matters, it was a tradition they had started since they finished secondary school; victor, timi, Badmus, Joe. This year, the hangout was in badmus’s house, he had just come back for Canada, he planned his vacation to coincide with the hangout date, from the way timi was talking it seemed he was going to be the last to arrive, first time it would happen ever, but then a lot has changed in years; they weren’t the same people they used to be when they had crazy hangouts, this have mellowed as they got older. He was into the final stretch of road, Badmus home was the last on the close he could see it from far it wasn’t an architectural masterpiece but it was impressive. I arrived at the gate and horned, after a couple of seconds the gate opened , i drove in and parked, came down and counted the cars parked, I range rover, 1 Toyota corolla, 1 Porsche cayenne, and finally 1 Nissan Altima, my own Toyota Solara paled in comparison, I walked up to the door and knocked Joe opened up with  a drink in his hand, Joe was the youngest in their group the most jovial one

“What took you so long?”

Work, traffic, errands to run I replied as I shed my coat off

The rest of the gang sat in the living room all dressed casually, with smile on their face and drinks in their hands, Badmus was laughing heartily, he obviously was enjoying himself he couldn’t get this sort of fun in Canada even with all the money, timi was cracking a joke gesticulating with his hands, victor was the first to notice my entrance among them he gestures me to come over

“What took you so long? Badmus asked

“Work stuffs jare”

“First time you would come late in years, vey unlike you “Joe said as he brought my drink it was a can star a change we allowed because of its convenience, he stared at his friends each one of them had grown up and they were all successful in their respective fields.  Badmus was a medical director who heads a mega hospital in Canada, Joe was a hedge fund manager,the best in the country, timi was a managing director for a top construction firm while he was the regional manager in one of the new generation banks, the range of their ages was 30-36, they were all respected by their peers in their industry but here among old friends they constantly ribbed each other

“Badmus when are you going back” Joe asked

“Probably next week”

“We could do the next hangout in Canada, huh, guys what do you think” timi enquired

It could work out but it would take a lot of planning, and we all know who the best at planning is” Badmus said as he stared at me

Yes I was the planner of the group the stickler to details and I was already factoring the details already, tickets, accommodation, feeding when the doorbell rang.

Joe went ahead to open the door we were all quiet, we weren’t expecting anyone else except Badmus was expecting a guest but that seemed unlikely

Joe came back and said “there are a couple of ladies outside they claimed to have been invited”

“Let them in” Badmus said

“What’s going on Badmus” timi asked

“This is our hangout Badmus, what’s this about you inviting ladies

“You guys should cool down, yes I invited them over and they aren’t ladies they are escorts and they are our visitors today

“Badmus you know the rules” I said

“ damn the rules ok, George this hangout has progressed more boring over the years instead of good fun, we complain about work, complain about our wives, complain about the future, and am fed up of that today and henceforth we are going to have fun”

As he finished the girls filed in, they were 4 in total one for each of us I guess  they were different in their own way tall, short, busty, skinny, nice hips, nice ass all you had to do was pick your choice and I had my eyes on one already, have always had a thing for short busty girl, my wife was different so I guess it is normal to have someone different from her; we are all married or some of us were, Badmus was divorced; the rest of us were married, happily was different just like mine, which was rocky because my wife caught me cheating a couple of months back but she forgave me and we are working on our marriage and then this happens

“I’ll take the one the wide hips” Joe said first he had always been a womanizer

“I’ll take the short busty one” I said before someone else picked her

The others made their choice and the hangout really began and we all had a very good time with the drinks, refreshment and conversion and most importantly the girls it was one of the best one we have had in years. I and Valerie (short busty girl) hit it off well, Badmus was the first to leave with his escort, next was Joe so I guess it was my turn

“Want to check out the rooms upstairs”

“Sure” Valerie replied

We left timi alone with his escort, as we walked upstairs and that was when the guilt started setting in

you have a wife, a very good wife, at home now thinking it is the normal hangout she has to cope with every year and she trust you to behave yourself after the last cheating episode, but then she would never find out about this, it would me and the boys secret”

We got in front of my room, I opened up and we stepped in, I moved close to her and whispered into her ear “you know why you are here?”

“I do” she replied as she started unbuttoning



11 thoughts on “Hangout pt1” by damilare oso (@damilareoso)

  1. Oga, this your story is very terrible.

    1. Why do u say so?

  2. @damilareoso, softly put, you need some thorough editing here. If you went through this piece and didn’t find any errors, then ask someone else to go through it too… Keep at it though.

    1. Thanks for the advice

  3. A number of mistakes,lacks adequate punctuation.

  4. Yes the story wasn’t properly edited I admit that but I need to knw what u think of the story itself

  5. @damilareoso, I think the story is quite interesting – you’ve set up a conflict in the MC’s mind (does he give in to temptation, especially when he’s supposed to be fixing his marriage) whose resolution I would like to see.

    But you do need to pay attention to how you tell the story. A good story with bad telling is like a good person who is filthy and smelly – he or she may be good, but nobody wants to get close enough to find out.

    1. Thanks for d advice

      1. @damilareoso, here’s an example of a paragraph that you’ve written, with my corrections added:

        i (should be “I”) was heading to badmus’s (should be Badmus with capital “B”) place where my friends currently (no need for “currently” – it feels odd, especially because you are writing in the past tense) were (missing full stop) its (should be “It had” since you are writing in past tense) being (should be “been”) long since the (should be “we had”, not “the”) hung out, but we (there should be “had” here, since you are writing in past tense) always set aside a day, (add a “the” here) 2nd Saturday in April to meet to discuss matters, (replace the comma with a full stop to stop your sentence from becoming too long) it (this should be “It” if you are using a full stop instead of a comma) was a tradition they (this should be “we” since you have begun this story writing from the first person point of view) had started since they finished secondary school (this is OK, but it’s better as “since finishing secondary school”); victor, timi, (capitalise names – “Victor, Timi”) Badmus, (add “and” here) Joe (what is the name of the narrator of the story?). This year, the hangout was in badmus’s (capitalise names – “Badmus”) house, (replace comma with full stop, and capitalise the “H” in the following “he”) he had just come back for Canada, he planned his vacation to coincide with the hangout date, from the way timi was talking it seemed he was going to be the last to arrive, first time it would happen ever, (there are too many commas in this sentence – find a way to break up the sentence with full stops or semicolons) but then a lot has (should be “had” – past tense) changed in years; they weren’t the same people they used to be when they had crazy hangouts, this (should be “they”) have (should be “had” – past tense) mellowed as they got older. He was into the final stretch of road, Badmus home was the last on the close (a new sentence should begin here) he could see it from far it wasn’t an architectural masterpiece but it was impressive. I arrived at the gate and horned (should be “pressed the horn”), after a couple of seconds the gate opened , i (should be “I”) drove in and parked, came down and counted the cars parked, I (should be “one”) range rover, 1 Toyota corolla, 1 Porsche cayenne, and finally 1 Nissan Altima, my own Toyota Solara paled in comparison, I walked up to the door and knocked Joe opened up with a drink in his hand, Joe was the youngest in their group (add “and” here) the most jovial one

  6. @TolaO has said it all.
    @damilareoso u cld make friends with @TolaO and he can help u with polishing ur future write ups…he’s one of the site’s best…

  7. @damilareoso,its a nice story, but you should decide whether its 1st person or 3rd person.@TolaO has said it all.A good editing will do the trick. keep writing,though!

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