Musings of a (maybe) lovestruck Girl. Help!

Musings of a (maybe) lovestruck Girl. Help!

Ok. I’m going to tell you a secret. I think I’m in love. Yeah I know it’s a little crazy but I think I am. Not like butterflies in my tummy, my heart beating faster, loss of words kinda love. No, but the real thing. The actual, I want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you type love.

So I’ve not seen him in a really long time, but I keep stalking his Facebook and twitter and I really don’t know how to tell him. It’s probably going to be really weird because he’s ten years older than me and if anything, he sees me as his little sister. Which is very annoying, talk about zoning. I don’t know if I’m really in love because I’ve never been in love so I don’t know how love feels or should feel like. But I really can’t forget him. I can’t stop smiling when I look at his pictures and now I literally know what it’s like for someone to always be on your mind.  And what else, he’s an amazing writer. Basically, he’s perfect. Everything I think I want in a guy.

There’s an inexplicable effect that words have on me. I literally feel words when I read them. I’m not one to be moved by cheesy thoughtless words but surprisingly I actually fell in love with his words, before him  (if I am in love with him). And though he’s never written anything for me, I feel my heart beat to the rhythm of his words. Pretty dramatic huh? You’ll be surprised how true that is.

Funny, cute, shy what else could I possibly ask for?

I don’t really understand why I feel this way because he’s not even my type. To begin with, he’s African. And though I’m African, African is not my type. Yeah I believe in Africa and all of that, but darn some white guys are so cute. Matt Bomer *sigh. I won’t even start because I’d probably not stop. It’s really too bad he’s gay. You know that song “I need an African man, a strong black man….” it’s a lovely song and all that  but all I can imagine when I hear it is a big brute that beats up his wife or something *shudder*. Like nah, just…nah.

Back to the object of my affections. I know I have to get over him because we live in two separate countries but it’s so hard. I think if he knew how I felt, he’ll stop calling me “baby” and all that.

Please don’t see me as a boy crazy girl. I’m not. In fact, I hardly ever feel anything towards attainable guys in my environment. I’m usually more comfortable with the “unattainables” like Matt. So I’m using this to half ask for advice and half get it off my mind because I obviously can’t tell anyone since it’s so inappropriate (hello ten years). I don’t know how old you think I am, but seriously, ten years is a little bit much right now.

18 thoughts on “Musings of a (maybe) lovestruck Girl. Help!” by Yeniee (@Yeniee)

  1. Just 10 years? I laugh in the face of your hesitation! Please go ahead and tell him. There’s nothing worse than unrequited love, trust me. But if you think it’ll make things awkward, you probably should let him know that you don’t want things to be uncomfortable between you two.
    And stop Facebook stalking him, please!
    And don’t limit yourself to “types”. Broaden your scope; you never know what pleasant surprises life has in store for you, you know!

    1. I think you’re right. There IS nothing worse than unrequited love. In that case then…

  2. “Hello ten years!”… VERY FUNNNNNNYYY… You aint seen nothing yet girlfriend… Ask ‘BIANCA’. Except, you are Ten years old right now, then, ‘ten years’ is a big deal. However, if you are 18 and above…seriously, i do not know what you are yapping about. Nice musing though.

    1. loooool… alright :) and thanks.

  3. OK, I don’t think you’re in love. In crush or fatuation maybe :)

    See, this guy is just as unattainable as Matt Bomer, he is 10 years older, he lives in another country, he sees you as a younger sis….shall I go on?

    Enjoy the feeling, but you may want to keep it to yourself, for now.

  4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    I cant believe this.
    Girls should get their heads out of movies and romance novels.

    Now, sweetie, did i tell you that i am not an African?

    1. lol yeah we really should…. and you’re not African? Good ;)

  5. I think it might be love, but for now it’s a wonderful crush. But don’t act on it. Let it stay in your mind as long as it can. Kiss him in your mind. Go on expensive romantic tours in your mind. Have a virtual affair with him in your mind.

    I kinda read it because the title sounded like very interesting, something Diablo Cody would have written during summer.

    Leave your crush a crush. It’s always very enjoyable and less complicated that way.

    1. cool…weird but Thanks :)

  6. Another good piece of writing. Me, I won’t give you advice on this matter o! I would only say that age is truly nothing but a number…but you said he is gay right…?

    Me, I will focus on the writing:

    ‘half ask’ (and others like it) should be written as a compound word I.e ‘half-ask’

    I like the fact that the fluidity of the story made errors disappear. But comb the story. Some errors await thy banishment ;)

    Well done. Keep improving your art. There is no end to learning.

    1. @chemokopi you really are too too nice. Thanks for the tips :)

      1. oh and no he’s not gay, Matt Bomer is.

  7. Love bites!
    @yennie….methinks this one will pass.
    You sound like a TWILIGHT kid,lol and pretty boys like Matt Bomer break a lot of hearts, just saying.
    You flow really well though, do you blog? you’ll make a great blogger :) @kaycee…you’re having too much fun.

    1. loool. Actually, yeah I just started :)

  8. Sorry @yeniee, I don’t have any advice to give – I just wanted to say that I liked the light-hearted tone of the story (even though it was on a serious matter), and I liked that it was well-written, too.

    All the best as you seek answers. :)

  9. Girls shaaaaaaaaa, we can have crushes…
    For whatever its worth dont live it for too long…
    Enjoyable read. Nice one!

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