And Then There Were Boobs…

And Then There Were Boobs…


Puberty (Photo credit: Il Bruco)

Well, so there I was, all small and carefree, one of the guys, really. Having four brothers all much older was a huge help. As a kid, I was the one they had to drag home from play. Life was so much fun, really. I had lots of fun in the Quarters where I grew up; wild, ecstatic fun with a sense of safety because you knew that your parents knew virtually everyone there and vice versa.

I remember lots of running around and squealing, lots of climbing trees (one time I climbed a mango tree for a particularly seductive yet elusive fruit and got stung under the eye by a bee), lots of rolling in the grass, lots of jumping… Wait a minute! Maybe that explains why the only exercise I do now is in my head? I did so much growing up, really, I must be all stretched out…

So, anyway, life was fun-filled. Sure, once in a while I got dark looks from my mom because I simply refused to sit with my legs closed, “like a girl”, but hey, it couldn’t all be rosy.

And then there were boobs.

Mine popped out rather early; like my attitude towards everything else, I was an early bloomer. The first thing I noticed was those little “coins” where my flat chest used to be, those coins that could just randomly be sore for absolutely no logical reason. So, there I was one fine day, playing a nice game of catch with my brother in the living room (I think our mom was out), when he threw  the ball and I missed. No, no. Please understand this. He threw me the ball, and I missed. It landed squarely on one of the coins; like an alien returning to the  mother-ship, as natural as can be.

I cooked up some excuse to go in my room where I quickly doubled over, rubbing out the pain, trying not to cry. This just wasn’t fair! How could I just NOT be able to play with my brother anymore, like any normal human being?! Mstchew.

But the curse of the boobs followed me to school :-( . One day, the whole class had to go out to the field for some P.H.E. crap or other. Now, one of my friends had this weird outfit she wanted to wear and in the course of helping her get it on, we ended up being the last ones to leave the class. Oh, bhet of kess, our teacher had to punish us by telling us to run the remaining distance. My friend loved the idea because she really wanted to show off her outfit with flesh peeking out at the sides. I, on the other hand… Let’s just say, a group of boys began chanting “ghen, ghen, ghen, ghen, ghen…” rhythmically. And they were not marking my feet dropping on the ground, if you know what I mean.

But, on a more life-changing note, the advent of these two creatures marked the beginning of male attention. I wasn’t truly bothered by this because I always had a way of wriggling out of all their wahala. Until my first year in Uni. I met this guy, Jay, through a mutual friend, and we really hit it off. I truly enjoyed spending time with him, but never even looked at him in that way. And then the day came when he pulled me aside for a “talk”, and confessed that he wanted to date me. I, my ever blunt self, put it to him that I didn’t feel that way about him, but really loved our friendship. Hmm. Na so my guy kuku tell me say…

In his own words, “If we can’t date, Joy, then I can’t hang out with you anymore.” It was as sharp as a slap. Indeed, I must have looked slapped as I stared at him in disbelief for minutes, mouth open like a fish searching for oxygen out of water.

And so, I lost a friend. I miss him till today. And all because I have boobs and he doesn’t. Do you see now? :-(

Life really got crooked after that. Sigh.

Yours truly,



15 thoughts on “And Then There Were Boobs…” by missmeddle (@missmeddle)

  1. And then were boobs indeed. You need to know one thing though:

    Boys will be boys; and girls, girls.

    @missmeddle: I had fun reading this. Now if you will take me to the place where it all began? (cos I suppose this is a series thingy)

  2. hehehe, now, this is one funny piece :)

  3. This writer writes in a familiar manner, like a certain skinny fine person on my BB.
    Great writer.

  4. *smiles* This your jay sounds familiar…abi? @kaycee. Where’s my friend @jaywriter? hehehehehe


  5. Simply Splendid.

  6. *smiles* This your jay sounds familiar…abi? @kaycee. Where’s my friend @jaywriter? hehehehehe


  7. Oh, this cracked me up! I am sitting in my office laughing like a loon! Bhet of kess, @msmeddle, I feel your pain. Life changes when your body does, and you’re never truly prepared for the effect it will have on you. Good to know you can see the humour in it, though.

  8. Very nice stuff. I had some tomboyish relations growing up and when they had to start behaving like ‘girls’, it was really depressing. Suddenly all we did with them was talk and watch films together.

    @banky I preferred girls when I was a child and my female friends had no boobs. I remember a girl I loved before she had boobs, then one day she shows up for a Boys/Girls Brigade meeting with very tiny boobs. I kept staring from her sleeveless shirt to get a glimpse all through the meeting. Things were a lot easier then. You weren’t under any sorta pressure, looooooooool. Boobs came forward and the pressures started.

  9. Nicely written and really funny

  10. lol…..maturity comes wid responsibility…a gud read

  11. A good coming-of-age story with a novel feel

  12. na 2 laugh naaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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