Adventures witht he Bafanaz PT 2: Adventures with SpongeBob

Adventures witht he Bafanaz PT 2: Adventures with SpongeBob

The second installment in my series of stories about the Bafanaz; their growing up and the various adventures we’ve had together…because being a mother is one thing, but there’s nothing quite like being an aunt!

I come back from work on Friday, exhausted and looking forward to lying down.

Toeing off my shoes, I flex my toes slowly to get the blood flowing again as I look around for my three boys, when…

Out of nowhere, SpongeBob runs up to me hollering about something or the other, and in his excitement promptly stomps on my foot.

Through the stabbing buzz of pain, I hear Mad Hatter run up to me and ask where am I coming from?

You have to meet MH to understand him. He is destined to be either a Pastor or a Barrister.

The boy is CONSTANTLY asking questions. I mean, annoying, unnerving, unnecessary questions, sha.

Like if you’re in the shower, he will yell through the door, “Are you bathing?”

He sees you eating, he asks, “Are you eating?”.

He sees you talking on the phone, he has to ask – yep, you guessed it- “Are you answering a call?”

And then sometimes, just for variety, he will ask you something you have no idea about or you’ve completely forgotten, just to see you squirm as your semi-atrophied brain tries to recall your Primary 1 Mathematics basics, or how to teach someone facing the opposite direction how to tie a shoelace. (Am I really the only one that struggles with this?)

I think he’s just at that age, but some days I really do feel he’s determined to drive us all mad.

It doesn’t help of course, that when he starts with the whole cross examination/SSS question sessions, his mother flaps her hand in my direction and says,

“I don’t know, biko, go and ask Aunty Uche. She has Google, she knows the answer!”

So up he runs, yelling (he’s always yelling; if I hadn’t seen him bleed before, I’d have sworn he has Red Bull in his veins, not blood; he is that energetic. Just watching him bounce around makes you tired),

“Are you coming from work? Are you tired? Are you carrying your handbag?” (Like say I resemble thief, sha. I fit carry anoda man bag before?)

And the great thing about him is that he does not stand still long enough to get the answer.

He bobs up and down three times, very fast, and races off to torment (erm, I mean interrogate) someone else.

So I’m sitting down to rub my foot, and poor little SpongeBob, forgotten in the melee of Mad Hatter’s whirlwind entrance and exit, quietly climbs up onto my lap and says,

“Is it your leg?” Always perceptive, he knows he has hurt me by mistake.

“Yes, my darling, its paining me”

The little man just jumps down silently and rubs my feet (BOTH of them!), climbs back up and kisses my cheek.

Then, fetching a deep sigh, he puts his little head on my chest and proceeds to listen to my heartbeat.

You want to know the bizarre part of this whole story?

By the time he was back in my lap, I’d forgotten the foot completely.

Aren’t children such a blessing?

13 thoughts on “Adventures witht he Bafanaz PT 2: Adventures with SpongeBob” by hotchocolate (@hotchocolate)

  1. Ah no.
    I miss my little girl.

    Like I said before…kids are amazing. They’re the easiest reminders of what God meant for human beings to be. That sweet innocence. That trust, that naivete, that curiosity…we allow life overwhelm us and then we forget who we are and where we were headed.

    Hug Spongebob for me. And MadHatter. And the third…

    I notice the absence of adult male figures in your pieces (I stand corrected). Wassup with that?


    1. @Seun_Odukoya, I saw the movie “Children of Men” a few years ago, and what struck me most was how bleak and hopeless the world became with no children in it. No laughing, running, jumping children driving their parents and other adults crazy with their noise and tantrums and compulsive need to dig for boogers. That movie always comes to mind whenever I feel like losing my temper with a child.

      You’re right. I’ve found that the sweetest adults I know have never completely let go of their inner children. They still ooh and ahh over the most insignificant things. I have a friend who delights in playing with the button that opens and closes the windows of her boyfriend’s car. You wouldn’t think a 30 year old would, but she’s such a sweet, gentle soul.

      Hugs have been recorded for onward transmission. Thank you, kind Sir.

      The absence of any other adult is deliberate. Its a series about my adventures with them, which mostly takes place before and after work and on weekends. Their father is a banker, so I rarely see him, and I find that when I’m watching them, their parents tend to leave us alone (which translates into shoving money at me and giving me the car keys so I can take them out somewhere…my sister says I have the “best ever” outing ideas!).

    2. The third is Dr. Seuss. Very sedate, respectable 8 year old. Not much to write about him because he is not prone to crazy outbursts, unlike the “babies” (what he calls his brothers!)

  2. Sweet, yet again. My regards to the ‘very sedate, respectable 8 year old’ Dr Seuss. You could describe me in those same words when i was that age. Wishing you many more “bleeding” pens.

    1. Thank you and Amen!

  3. Some of you have not met stubborn kids sha. The kinds that you feel like flinging out the window. I have done some flingings in my time! My love for kids is not constant. I hate them when they are at that age when they are so annoying, insulting, teary and just downright evil. MH and co are not yet at the age. Just wait.

    1. Ha! Please, @kaycee, do not be deceived at all! The Bafanaz are definitely at that age! I constantly fight the urge to fling them through moving car windows! But…the great part about being an aunt is that when you’re fed up, you get to give them back to their parents and get your sanity back, which is why I love them so very much.

  4. Awww! Teary-eyed after reading such a well-written piece…reminds me of my four lil cousins: three boys and a girl, all under 10. The three boys christened themselves Shedrach, Meschach and Abednego! :D The girl, as the youngest, refused to be looked down uopn, and even scolds her elder brothers for messing up their table…oh! They can be such nuisances at times, but they are all so adorable! Meshach looked at me one Sunday morning as we were about going to church, and said, “Auntie, you look cute!”, with a look in his eyes that said he knew exactly what he meant. He was just 5 or 6 then! And he’s the one who picks out what shoes his mom should wear (great sense of style!)
    And yes you’re very correct about adults still remaining children in their heart of hearts…I never let go of the baby, child and teenager in me, and I’m loving me! :-D thanks Uche!

    1. @chymdiinma, you are most welcome!

  5. More please, i loved it

    1. @ifiokobong, thank you. The adventures will resume shortly, have no fear!

  6. kids kids kids… I like them any way but I love them most when they are troublesome.

    1. @coshincozor, cool username…if you love them most when they are troublesome, then you’ll ADORE the Bafanaz!

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