Can I really say I was unaware?

Of the glowing signs as they were?

Of the manic glint in her eyes

When her tempers tempest was near?

Or of the huge hole in the budding bond

As stark and gaping as an open wound

Where flies and the sly sought a lasting feast?

 

I called it love, some called it insanity

I sought to please and build in peace

All intent noble and pure in vain

A heart once full of joy, in pain

Sweet pain; a guest at misery’s door

Old misery; pretty dame with painted nails

Can I ever truly say I was unaware of the game?

Of the hypocrisy of her blatant bray?

 

It started with the truths

So finely crafted they were silk

I adorned, a burial in copious sooth

A treat undeserving, the vile charm

Webbed around my eyeless eyes

Clawing and pawing at the ageless soul

The soul of my naked heart

Captive behind diaphragm forlorn

Alone, in a barrel as cavernous as lies

 

To forever you had sworn your stay

But, forever was a voice adance in the wild

Sailing her frigate wherever she pleased

Many more truths had me in an open bind

Like a mothers love for her only child

Lofty promises you freely stuck

Like feathers in your hat of hearts

Chasing shadows of my hanging lucidity

Into claws arid with negativity

 

Your eyes were ponds full of diamonds

No man but only a fool would dare

Shiny slits of danger a pair, a-fire and fierce

Irresistible, the lure of your almonds

I glommed heavens union with every gaze

Till upon dragons’ gate my knuckles rasped

But then some had called me insane

Thrusting into my gut, a lions mane

Shame and pain, all of your holy bane

The severance package I handsomely gained

 

Your laughter was sweet music

Tentative, almost hesitant yet alluring

Your beauty, the creator’s magic

Goddess, nubile Venusian in the valleys

And hills of tellurian nativity

Maybe twas I, having tasted of cupids poison

Who saw a goddess in your every frill

In your grace which I thought endearing

And your voice which I likened to a mermaids peal

 

You were as quiet as a dormant volcano

Plotting cold schemes with the mask of smile

I thought your silence a virtue measured in gold

Your smile a world devoid of bile

Full of love and the promises of eternal abode

Full of ditties with soulful melodies, but

All were facades for your vengeful monodies

Fresh bark upon wood fallen and rotting

 

When you did speak, many times the hurt

Many times I’d bear the brunt like was my lot

Carefree like a winged snake, seething

Digging my flesh with a fangfull tongue

Apologies in wake, love was my lake

And again will come the bitter song:

Love spurn, killer words your depravity

Spoliation of our protective veil

 

I sought to please with every vein

Your needs increased with every day

In stealth crept in bane after bane

Mountain of needs, the pillaging giant

Vesuvius and her spew my heart rend

Till Labour brought me a genial friend

Impalpable the bound of his gamut

Yet never enough was Wages rein

Straight, bent; baskets in the rain

 

Gratitude was always bereft

Twas my duty to always provide

A thankless errand etched upon my cleft

For I was lucky to beget the bride

A smug face and smile was all you kept

When at dusk I trudged in from the mine

To say welcome was needless deft

Shallow graft, chaff upon cupids sign

 

Patience was a blind scarecrow

Welcoming the pain you failed to scare

Fighting this danger till away went the crow

Rancour and dispute were sneering guests

Who’d poke a peek at our fleeting sanity

Giggling merrily into the ears of the moon

Telling a tale of a bond gone asunder

Of two lovers who never stop to ponder

Uncover the wonder that lay

Like a new born within naïve serenity

 

Upon my flaws were magnifying lenses

My every blight a daily announcement

Round my collared neck a silver bell

Reminder of my err upon commitment

And into a vault their pile you grew

Nurturing dead tales and readying the brew

For another err, the thousandth wrong

So all of hell, you’d gladly let loose

 

Your anger was a black tide

A temper no temptress would have envied

Upon my heart you banged this anvil

Roaring beast in a sunny storm

Your fists were unsheathed swords

Slashing through flesh and blood till gaping sores

Till shirt upon shirt lay tattered at my feet

Till all tempers laughed at the befalling gale

Till clouds gather for the cursed ride

 

For some grave wrong I had borne

Shrapnel from broken appurtenances flew

Like in a circus, wild stunts saw me through

You’d soak me in a litany of swears

Curses I feared might linger long:

Venom; solemn and deadly too

Flung with all intent ungodly

So to earth my knees I’d plant

And to the sky my case I’d plead

 

Allies of mine your beleaguered foes

The shield, your stand unopposed

Sturdy wall you built around your gold

Scared another temptress might depose

And so found hate within your entrails

As daily you enforced your ban

 

Your deception was wickedly furtive

Staying up at night, eyes fraught with tears

Awaiting my return in the arms of dawn

The whispers of romance that sifted

Through every au-bade

Almost believable; the hunger, the passion

The moments of sensual serein, the trickery

The trove of pride, sentinel of tears

 

Every row had your luggage grow legs

Always eager to once more fly

Bird to the highest bidder and tide

Till alarmed I’d heap a bag of begs

Upon your dainty feet and watch you sigh

A queen benign, the slave in line

 

Our every secret you divulged to the wind

Feeding the vultures with whom you were kin

My life’s tale lay within an aged vultures’ egg

The seer supreme crowned king in rags

Tell-tale of the many more years that would

Have been, many more years that could have been

My path had I trodden this road, future in a fugue

Autocratic decree: my home to be or not to be,

Lay within the crown of the vulture king

 

All of these and many more

The signs that lay around me like candles at mass

Cupids grey mist had enshrouded all sight

And I could see no farther than the three blind mice

At least not until Shame and pain

And all of her holy bane became

The severance package I handsomely gained

 

06/01/2011

Ohmston Weth