The girl next door

The girl next door

Stacey was her name or at lest that was the name, people told me she answered. She was a girl i got to know a year after i moved into Stantoky Avenue. She was slim, very tall, beautiful with Sapphira eyes and gold hair. Apart from her physical beauty I was also quick to notice that she was absolutely strange and reserved. It was like she was hiding away from something. I doubt if she has friends and relatives because non ever comes around to see her.
At night from my window, i will watch her dancing in the moonlit, she will dance and dance till she slumps on the ground and can’t get up again to dance. I had noticed that a week after i moved into the boys quarter as her neighbour. We are the only tenants occupying the beautiful bungalow in 19 Stantoky Avenue. The first night i had seen her dancing, i had been amazed and enchanted then suddenly i felt that something was wrong because of the way she was dancing as if a kind of spirit had possessed her. Askew  and trilled as i felt i had to rush out of the house to help her after she slumped to the ground; breathless only to find no one there. I had stood there for a while wondering if truly i had seen her dancing.
The next morning i had found myself at her door knocking my knuckles out. The door was shut quiet alright but i could hear sobs and screams from within and yet she didn’t open up. I had to go to work that morning deciding to meet her once i was back form work but i never did since she was never outside. I really had to wonder how she eats and survives since she never come out of the house unless if she did that when i was away. Decimating to fill my curiosity I had to apply for my leave permit so as to stay at home all day and monitor when she would go out then i can accost her to know what her problem was.
I sat outside the house all day except when i peed into the bucket beside me watching and waiting but she never came out. Late in the night I retired inside after waiting like eternity, not long after I began to  hear her footsteps stamping  hard against the interlocked floor, she was twirling and dancing like one possessed. i watched on, marveled and unable to do anything but watch in perplexity.Suddenly like someone enchanted i stumped out to catch her and caught the air, I fainted.
That was a year ago. Ever-since then i have been trying to understand what happened that night but till date i have not been able to comprehend the mystery of that night. Although i had stopped prying but my heart and feelings towards the string girl haven’t stopped. I still felt a kind of connection  and something inside me keeps trying me that the girl next door was calling for me. After I had woken up in the hospital after I fainted a year ago, I had been told by the nurses that a young girl with hair like snow had brought me in. I wanted to believe that it was her but how can I when her hair was golden. For a while I let her be until one night.
It was early April, the beginning of spring. The night was cool and dearly. The sky was void and gray. I was siting at the porch over a glass of wine and noodle when i first heard the ear splitting scream. For a while I paused and strained my ears. Noting, i relaxed. The shrill scream came again almost knocking me ‘wacko’, i jumped out of my seat and gazed towards the direction of the scream. She was screaming, without trying to consider anything I raced towards her apartment. Surprisingly the door was open, I turned the knob and the door sprang open. The scream came again and i went in, the door slammed close sifter me.
The room was unusually dark, because it was built in the same style as mine I was able to find my way. I was quick to notice how empty the room was too. There was nothing there but two cushions and a rug on the ground. The scream was fluttering in now, persistently as well as some inaudible words. Quickly I made my way towards the room abhorring the persistent cries. As i walked through the endless passage, my heart painted hard against my chest. I was tensed and horrified yet i trued on and paused when i got to her door. I listened. The sound emitting from the room was more of a whisper so i strained my ears closer to the door and began to hear the petrifying words.
“No!” She was screaming. “No, I wont, Please No. I want to be free. Haven’t you done enough harm yet? I love him, please let him be”
I froze at the mention of love. It was weird to believe that the strange girl actually love someone. I listened again.
“Please let Leo be, please i beg of you”
Leo? I thought suddenly remembering that that was my name. no, i shook it off. She can’t be referring of me, she doesn’t even know my name then i heard a whisper and listened agin.
“Yes, i accept. Turn me into a lioness and send me into the wild in extinction but let Leo Wilbur be”
I didn’t wait to hear it all as i fought to open the door. She was talking about me. She was sacrificing her life to save me. The door was locked from within. Pulling back a little, I ran in with a force and kicked the door open just when I saw her turn into a Beautiful Lioness. she was covered with the luminescence from the blinding light. She looked my way, gave a loud roar then disappeared into the smoke after she told me her real name, Sheena. As i slumped to the ground in a faint, I wondered who will take me to the hospital this time. Could it be a beautiful maiden with pearly eyes and fire, blazing hair.



7 thoughts on “The girl next door” by sarahchristy21 (@sarahchristy21)

  1. (I doubt if she has friends because none ever comes to visit her.) This should have been in past tense.
    And also the 1st sentence in the 2nd paragraph.

    “Decimating to fill my curiosity I had to apply for my leave permit so as to stay at home and watch when she will go out so I can accost her….” What did you mean here?
    And people don’t apply for leave just cos they want to know what a neighbour was up to (if that’s what u meant)…. And you even had to pee in a bucket while waiting? Plus you were just fainting all around the story.
    Haba!

    It is a story, but good stories should be believable even if its sci-fi.

    I think you are a good writer but your choice of story didn’t let your talent show.

    Well done.

  2. Dont let it get to you.You’ve got talent but before submiting check your work for errors.

  3. Dont let it get to you.You’ve got talent but before submiting check your work for errors.Good work and well done.

  4. This is not your work.

  5. beautiful with Sapphira (sapphire) eyes and gold hair
    The first night i “had seen” (saw) her dancing, i had been amazed
    We are (were) the only tenants occupying the beautiful bungalow in 19 Stantoky Avenue
    hiding away (you can do without “away”) from something…

    Like its been said…try to edit well, plus I think the use of the word “had” was abused in this piece.

  6. Wow. U got me so. Sweet but. . . More editing will do more good than bad.

  7. Would have been a very intriguing story, but lots of things were lost in its telling… Keep going Sara, you would shine soon. Well done…$ß.

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