Hatched – Part 2

Hatched – Part 2


Osas and I arrive at what seems to be the venue of his brothers’ show and we are ushered in through the performer’s entrance.

“Are you crazy Osas, I’m a married woman”.

“Keep your helmet on I have to take care of a small obligation, and then we’re out of here”.

He whispers back to me as we make our way in. At the base of the stage, he hands me to a bouncer; one of those types, swollen up from steroids. I don’t look out of place, the array of outfits backstage just have me looking like another performer. Thanks to years of keeping fit, in this outfit my age is indeterminable.

What on earth? Oh my God Osas is on stage, the helmet has been replaced with sunglasses and girls are screaming….Osas is Loo.

I stand in utter awe as I watch him perform (through the helmet).

This is not what I planned. I’m not much into music but how could I not have known that Osas is Loo. He looks a tad smaller in real life, I never saw him wearing his trade mark sunglasses…..and this boy just could not be the notorious Loo. He is, and he is on stage and the crowd is wild. The effect he has on this huge crowd turns me on. What does this boy want from me? He is huge, in more ways than one, a superstar, and a good twelve years younger than I am…..what do I want from this boy? Maybe I should just leave here and now. No, just tonight, I will let myself go. I will feel sexy and desirable, I will wallow in it. Tomorrow, I shall repent, I promise.

Hmmmm, I don’t want to wake up. My one night is over and ooh what a night. It was everything I fantasized about and more. In my fantasy, he wasn’t Loo, and he didn’t take me right in the limo on our way to the hotel, and two more times in the hotel and twice this morning. No the reality beat the fantasy hands down.

I shoot right up and look at my wristwatch. It is twelve thirty pm. I have a women’s ministry meeting in church by two….Gosh, this boy is gorgeous. He is sitting at the coffee table by the balcony drinking coffee; a naked Adonis. Why does he look so sad? As if aware of my stare, he turns around and smiles at me.

“Hey sexy, coffee?”

Julius has been too busy to notice my affair. He hasn’t noticed the changes in me nor minds that I seem to travel a lot these days. His cousin is staying with us so I know my kids are in good hands. I nag less and for that I’m sure Julius is grateful. I feel like a different woman from the Adaobi of just weeks ago. It isn’t possible any more, not with the validation that Osas showers on me. I will not leave Julius but I refuse to feel like a worthless woman. He is doing his thing and I am doing mine. We are getting along better. We are even having sex again.

It’s been seven months and Osas says he is in love with me. I feel protective of Osas. I know how he held on to his dream despite his family. I know how he feels he is not more than everybody’s cash cow. His melancholic nature and substance abuse make him intense and exciting. I’ve been to Dubai twice and to the States once with him. Julius thinks I’m so busy because I am expanding. He doesn’t ask for details and I don’t offer any. A few people really close to Osas now know that we are having an affair and I dread the press circus, if we are exposed, but I am having such a good time. I have become a really bad girl at thirty four; mile high club and all.

He showers me with gifts and I dare not admire anything while he is anywhere around me. Sadly I have to leave most of them behind at “our” home on Banana Island. On my thirty fifth birthday, he bought me a Bentley and ended up crying because I couldn’t come over, not even for a few minutes. I can only drive the car around when I spend time with him.

I always know when he is not working, I know because he wants to constantly be on the phone with me, talking or pinging. I am uncomfortable. Osas is too intense. Osas is “bad market”. He says he wants to marry me. He once locked us both in his bedroom and missed a show where he was headlining along with R Kelly, because I told him I suspected that I was pregnant. He was mad because we always use protection so obviously it isn’t his. I gently try to remind him that I have a family, children whom I must put ahead of everything else even myself. It is for them that everyone told me to stick it out; so that another woman will not maltreat my children.

I am worried. This is not what I bargained for. Osas is just too possessive. He is suffocating me. It’s been a year and I want out. The wings he gave me need to spread out.

I catch his eyes over the counter at the bespoke shirt place. Apparently he is the owner, gorgeous, just my type. I catch his eyes again and smile. While Osas is getting fitted, we exchange numbers and bb pins. His name is Chudi.

I break it off with Osas, claiming that Julius and I have decided to work at our marriage. It is dramatic. He smokes so much weed and drinks so much I am afraid to leave him alone. I leave him fast asleep and spent in the morning disgusted with myself. I will not be trapped in an obligatory situation any longer. No way, thanks to Osas, I have gotten my groove back; I have hatched and don’t want to be shelled again.


I smile as I straddle Chudi on his office table. I have been looking forward to this all week. Chudi is slim and built and just like Osas, he is a poster boy for my lower lip fetish. He is twenty nine and damn fine. Being with Osas opened me up tremendously to my sexuality and sensuality. I am eager to move on. Chuks is obviously having a good time; time to let go and ride out the moment with him.

Osas is haunting me. He is staring at me from the TV overhead as Chuks grinds my body to his in that final moment of orgasm. Too late, I close my eyes as I ride the waves with Chuks. As I orgasm, the words on the screen sear themselves in my brain, BREAKING NEWS: R&B SENSATION LOO DIES IN SUSPECTED SUICIDE.

It’s been a week since Osas died……committed suicide. I’ve been steadily having nightmares; the same one every night. In my dream, I am having sex with Chudi and Osas bleeding away, is staring at us but I can’t stop, I keep going.

I am stretched to the limit with apprehension. There is mention of a suicide note but the family are keeping the contents to themselves. I never got close to his brother/manager Henry. I have called him twice this week but he has neither taken my calls nor acknowledged them. I can’t bear it anymore I need to see Chudi. I need to let off some of this tension.

Chudi is at the perfect age of pleasing a woman. His skills must have now been fine tuned as against the sheer force and frenzy of Osa’s twenty two adrenalin pumping years. I miss Osas and I am worried that my name is going to pop up somewhere soon. I had been supremely cautious with cleaning up my tracks, I just didn’t figure in emotional tracks or psychological tracks and cracks.

I quickly find the flower pot with Chudi’s spare keys. He didn’t hesitate a bit when I suggested we meet. Instead he took over the reins of the planning. I like men eager. When Julius and I first met, I thought he was a gentleman. I realised later that shifting the responsibility of any joint endeavours between he and I to me was just Julius being Julius, noncommittal. Yup, an individual could be married and non committal. When you live with someone like that, over time, he rewires your emotions. You become a complete mess with suspicions and negative self image as constant companions. He is with me but apart from word of mouth, he doesn’t try very much to validate me or my existence in his life. Sometimes I wish he is deliberately cruel, but he isn’t. Julius just doesn’t care beyond what he desires out of life per time. See my predicament?

Chudi’s studio apartment is very contemporary and clean. I am admiring the paintings when I hear the key turn in the lock. I don’t turn. The painting I’m looking up at is conveniently facing the entrance. I am wearing a black lacy merry widow and six inch red glitter court shoes and nothing else. My butt gets more compliments than any other part of me so I am most eager to stick it out and await his entry. I spread my legs and sip my wine as I wait. The door opens. I hear his breath catch. He clears his throat.

“For real?”

Osas would have known just what to do right away.

Oh boy.

I turn around to encounter two pairs of eyes. If it wasn’t so awkward it would be funny; the look on their faces. The colleague’s eyes are ripping my flesh off my skin. Are you kidding? He is dreamier than Chudi could ever hope to be and the way he is looking at me….

“Pick your jaw up from the ground guys”, said I delightedly.

Chudi is suddenly he-man proprietary with me. Right, whatever starts his engine as long as he starts mine, we’re cool. Colleague who lives two floors up leaves and Chudi and I are all alone. I will not think about that perfect specimen that just walked out…or why not? It works for me with Julius.

Chudi is a waste of manhood. All he wants to do is talk about Osas. As he goes to get another bottle of wine, I feign a call. I have to go; I have no time for the evening that Chudi proposes. I thought we would just get down to it and I could be home before my children’s 8pm weekend bedtime. Kiss, kiss at the elevator. I get down and take the next elevator to the fifth floor where “steaming hot colleague” lives. I try a random door and get pointed out to his apartment. He opens the door and I just know I’m in for a treat.

Sadly my babies are fast asleep when I get home but my smile remains as I shower. I found out his name thirty minutes later. It is Rufus. Rufus, I just slept with a guy called Rufus. Ah well. I’m loving being liberated.

Unbelievable. My sins sure catch up on me pretty quick. At this rate by the time the world ends, I’d have paid penance for all my misdeeds. I have just swallowed scalding black coffee as I face a picture of Osas and I on the front page of a tabloid. I remember that trip to the US. We were in Idaho to see a childhood friend of mine for Petes sake. Letting down my guard a little, we walked out of the hotel hand in hand, smiling at each other. Neither of us was aware…..well I wasn’t aware of a picture being taken. Apparently, the “mystery lady” has been fingered in Osas’ suicide note. Bullshit, whoever released this photo knows exactly who I am. I look up as Julius walks in with the same tabloid and a cold angry look on his face.

“You’ll regret this.”

It’s been six months, the divorce was messy. Julius performed like a wounded lion, and oh what a performance. People sympathized with him and pointed fingers at me and called me all kinds of unprintable names. Julius’s family fought me, Osa’s family fought me. The press and public fought me. More pictures came out. Henry gave an exclusive interview about Osas and I. Julius won custody of my babies. After my shenanigans with Osa’s was made public, the judge declared me an unfit mother. The nightmares have stopped as suddenly as they started. I guess Osas achieved his aim.

People say I should have waited, he’d have changed. Some said I should have just divorced him rather than cheat. Stupid me, I thought that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. I thought I was making the best of a bad situation.

I have been judged and found guilty by you all, especially my fellow women. I have been slandered on blogs and used as an example of a bad woman. Nobody cares that I was just trying to get by with life. Feel free to judge me. Some of you will do what I have done or are doing so right now.

Do I regret it? Apart from losing custody of my kids, not at all. By the way I didn’t just hatch to sex. We must all walk our individual paths of survival if we are to make it through life.

Young guys like me…..a lot.

I look at myself and wonder how I ever thought I am unattractive?

Last year Forbes called him the richest under thirty in all of Africa. I call him baby. He is the majority share holder at Hastag, Julius’ employer’s.


46 thoughts on “Hatched – Part 2” by RIO (@riowrites)

  1. Em…if I thought the first one was erratic, I take back my words. This one beat that one hands down.

    I feel like it meandered to the end. I don’t know o, and I mean absolutely no offense whatsoever. I just did not feel the story/characters. It’s lacking a cohesiveness…as though you just had a bunch of random thoughts and put them together.

    I do like the title and how it transfers into the story. And beyond any and all reasonable doubt, you can write.

    I just strongly believe this is not your best.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Hahaha, absolutely no offence taken @Seun-Odukoya. I am a screen writer, I am partial to fast paced stories. To make it work and develop into some sort of style for prose is one of the reasons I’m here so your critique works well for me. Thanks for read and don’t stop critiquing abeg. I am here to learn.

    2. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      I like it. It really expresses the pain and heartache that can come from infidelity especially for the woman. I think it would also do well as a movie. nice twists and dips alk the way. To get by some of the lack of cohesiveness i would like to think of this as a summary. it could flesh out into a novel or a movie.

  2. Whoa!..I really like this…She hatched and went hay-wire…Girl had everytin in her repressed to the point of exploding…
    This could work as a movie script except that it might promote having a string of affairs in unhappy women.

    Wen U woke from your dream or whatever, you said he wasn’t loo..but then again, the news headline mention Loo, you confused me a bit there.
    The story has this rushed feel, it works for me though..

    You would get a better critique from people who would come after now though..

    Nice one….and it ends beautifully..Guess Julius would bite his nails every 1ce in a while.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thank you @sibbylwhyte, I’m glad you liked it. It has actually been optioned for a screenplay.

      He was Loo, she found out when he got on stage.

  3. Feelings are like a beehive – once activated, always on rampage. It’s a great story.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thank you @sontel.

  4. RIOOOOO….this is absolutely amazing,I love every bit of it,its wow wow wow. I want my own OSAS…..I love that xter.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      GRETELLLLLL….thanks!!! I am off to the factory to make you an Osas :-)

  5. I read the two parts in a sweep. Nice story, but you are in too much of a hurry to finish it up.
    You have enough material to make this story go like 6 or 7 episodes in the series (I think) but you skip the details in what seems like a rush to get your final message out.
    Story telling is an art, but the mastery of that art means you can hold your audience in suspense for a long time with the right material, which I think you do here.
    Nice job

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      my thoughts exactly. this could even make a novel. tell us Julius’ side and may be Timi or nengi. Show us why Osas want an older lady. i like the idea though great concept,

  6. Wow!!..It is?..Very well then, I hope it works out…It would be a craziiee watch. What, with all the Osas’s, Julius’s and Rufus’s in the movie…Hmmm, I would want to watch…Well done.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks.I was hoping to hold the readers attention till the end and apparently I succeeded. What I would like to be able to do is to maintain the style but fine tune it to be
      more (for lack of a better word)coherent.

    2. RIO (@riowrites)

      Oops I sent @abbey‘s response to you.

      @sibbylwhyte, For where? It is going to have to be seriously toned down but even then it will be rated 18.

  7. @Riowrites, I thought that the story lost focus about halfway into the story with the casual introduction of characters… Chudi, then Rufus, then… I guess it didn’t feel believable to me that at so late a stage in her life, the MC could change in the way she did.

    But I loved the first half of the story; I like the way you showed Osas’s changing emotions towards the MC, and how they foreshadowed what would eventually happen.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks @TolaO. As to the MC and her change, I’m surprised that you don’t find it believable. It is real with more than enough case studies.

  8. Well….I would have to agree with Seun on this one….if I thought part 1 was racy…you are hitting me too hard with part 2….If this was to be worked into screen, you would have to be careful with continuity….you introduced 2 people in one scene and I didn’t even allow me catch my breath before she is sleeping with the downstairs neighbour….this ain’t liberation joor….it’s being slutty….
    Anyways…good job….and more grease to thy elbows

  9. RIO (@riowrites)

    Thanks again @enoquin, on screen continuity is not my issue,it would be the editor and continuity persons issue. I’m here to learn, my transitions are actually movie transitions and my goal is to work at it so that it works for prose and still comes out coherent. I want a unique voice of my own and I will get there.

    Hahaha yeah I agree, Adaobi got slutty. If anyone ever makes a series called “VGC wives”, you’ll realise that this is no exaggeration or mere fiction.

    1. @riowrites: I hear you, after all we are all here that we might be better!

      lol at VGC wives….perhaps it should be your next project

  10. I like fast paced stories but a little slowing would not hurt your writing. looking foward to your next post

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Mucho gracias.

  11. Pacy, now @Rio you stepped up the tempo a notch higher with this part, and I kinda like it except that certain parts felt somewhat clumsy in the narration and one or two typos along the way.

    On the whole, I like the style and that last paragraph was a touch of genius like… a coup de grace.

    Well done!

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks, I’m glad you like it.

  12. When I have nothing short of great about anything, i just smile like am doing now, and nod… DO IT again.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Hear, hear….that I shall. Thank you.

  13. I havnt read much stories on NS,but this most definitely is the best i hv read.i read part one nd was so eagar to read part 2…seeing it was like seeing the latest version of merlin on bbc…u r nw on my must read list..pls write more

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks :-)

  14. Gotta read d first piece. Amazing.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thank you.

  15. I love the theme behind this…

    1. RIO (@riowrites)


  16. A contemporary ‘madame bovary’story,in theme if not in style.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Really @drzhivago? The only similarity in the stories is the infidelity. Emma Bovary was a perpetually discontent woman. Thanks for reading.

  17. exciting read for me.thumbs up Rio

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks @empresewande, I’m glad you like it.

  18. You just redefined tempo and crazy. Good read.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks @jonnysnow, I like the sound of that. :-)

  19. Can help a family stick,
    irrespective of obscene scenes.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thank you sir, even though I don’t understand “obscene scenes”

  20. @rio Are we then to describe Adaobi as perpetually content? I do not want to dispute your reading of the character of Emma bovary, but let me write a few words. Infidelity-particularly in the way you refer to it-is merely an event, just like opening a door. In the analysis and comparision of characters in novels, the essential thing is motive(even if its an unconscious one), the reason for their actions,such that there is little basis for say comparing raskalnikov to james bond even though they both killed people.that said, your story was more a description of sensations than an analysis of motives, which is quite same approach which Flaubert took. It is true that flauberts novel was lengthier and appriopriately detailed so that even by his merely describing sensations one gets into the characters, and the impeccability of his style elevates the novel to the pedestal it occupies in world literature. He was also precisely aware of what he meant to do; which was to defy the notion that great novels must have content(in my opinion he did not entirely succeed).but Let us now take a closer look at adaobi-who has just’hatched’ when the story begins,she is at a musical show with a young man several years the younger,she is married. What has her husband done wrong? All through the story as she changes lovers, she is concerned merely with her own feelings and sensations, a trait she shares with emma bovary. The lives that are ruined by her actions matter little to her(just as they mattered little to emma)emma however, had the character of hoping for permanence, of hoping her illusions would arrive at a full stop, that she would meet someone who met her ideal. This, even if slightly, justifies emma. However, Adaobi wishes merely for newer and fresher sexual sensations, to plunge herself deeper into carnality, for her an attractive man is as good as another. Enough of comparisions. Wat do I think of your story? Its power lies in the arousal of the sexual feeling, of that feeling latent in us all and expressed by people to varying degrees, the feeling and capacity of abandonment to the satisfaction of one’s lusts. This sort of stories are very succesful on television soaps, being that the primary goal of these is the sustained distraction of the viewer. True Literature however, is requiring of something more, it calls upon the reader to assume a position, something which tolstoy described as a moral correct. It is also good form to avoid the use of ‘shock tactics'(excessive and shocking descriptions of sex, violence etc) All the same, by the power of the theme and your own craft, and by my own vulnerability to descriptions of sex, it was a readable story. My opinion.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      Thanks @drzhivago for the detailed analysis. We all aspire to “good literature” and so we write, get critiqued, re write and keep writing to get there. You are entitled to your opinions as I am entitled to mine. The Adaobi that I wrote about made her bad decisions based on the neglect of her cheating husband(As seen in the first part) . Emma had a devoted husband; they are not the same thing. Emma’s was base, Adaobi’s was reactionary. The story has a message and those who caught it did. The writing style might need working on but the story is just fine. Thank you.

  21. Hmm, like this discussion there btw you @riowrites and @drzhivago. And I tend to agree with Oga Zhivago. From this story, both parts 1 and 2, it seems like Adaobi is all out to enjoy herself not caring who is hurt. Sure, her husband is cold and uncommunicative but we don’t see her anywhere making an effort, a solid, consistent effort to save her marriage, even if it’s just for the children.

    Instead, she’s willing to escape into the world of no-strings-attached casual sex. Just to show you how cold she herself is becoming, when Osas starts to love her, she thinks he’s becoming ‘too possessive’. She runs away and IMMEDIATELY starts having sex with Chudi, and then she sees Rufus, who is hotter than Chudi and she jumps into bed with that one too.

    Adaobi is a character driven by lust, period. Maybe in the beginning, it was about her husband. But in this part 2, it was all about her out-of-control libido. And an out-of-control libido is always a selfish thing. That will be satisfied no matter who is hurt, as we see eventually.

    Even the end shows how self-serving she has become–sleeping with Julius’ loaded boss, no word about trying to get her kids back or repair the effects of her former misdeeds.

    It’s a solid story. But Adaobi is a woman that I cannot like. And that I must judge. If that is what I have done.

    1. RIO (@riowrites)

      @guywriterer, thanks for your take.

  22. Quite unfortunate it ended that way. Well done

  23. Hmmm. ..nice story. You involved your readers in the emotion of d story and aroused a response…dts is d mark of a true story teller

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