Between The Sheets

Sex with a dull man is so tiring, uninspiring. I would rather go shopping than let him inside me. Sex with a dull woman! How uninviting! Quite frightening!

Sex is a subject so sensitive and personal; difficult to talk about; many shy away from it. A couple just finished having sex and can’t talk about it. How nasty! I think crafty! Can’t talk about an act they just took part in. Never really understood why? But that’s another subject.

Now let’s talk about SEX!

Sex is a quick game…It’s nice, quick, fast but never lasts. It’s anytime and anywhere with no one to stare; as long as you are with the one you care. If you go with a stranger you are courting danger. If you are one of the few lucky ones that the feeling and chemistry is mutual, you have found heaven! Most times you don’t bother with clothes or disrobing… you know what to take off or push aside don’t you?

Quick and fast, in and out, screams and groans curses and words too foul to revisit. But ohhhhhhhh god! Paradise in all of four minutes or so and the rest as they say is history.

Some like a bit of roughness here and there, and many a times body parts are bruised but sometimes disjointed. On odd occasions you get the occasional black eye and mild concussion, and that’s okay too

Unlike sex, making loving is an entirely different matter.

Lovemaking…aaah, sweet

The sentimental thing begins to come into play. You have to be nice, act nice and talk nice; sometimes you either love or like this person. People…we are talking really scary stuff here, the LOVE THING, it bites!

For us girls, now really it’s a big deal! When you find that big dope like yourself who takes the time to know you and show that they care. They take the time to set the mood, physically, mentally and emotionally…and you can tell, because they are firm but gentle.

They want to know what’s good for you, where do they touch you, how should they touch you to drive you wild. For them it’s like a challenge and they go far beyond the call of duty to get you to that place of bliss; and since you have a romance going on here, paradise, that place of pleasure takes even longer to get to… extra care is taken to get the oils that smell right, and music that is smooth that it just soothes and melts your heart.

Now, for the boys…it’s not all wham, bam thank you ma’am! Yes it might seem like all they are really interested in is the physical, as in appearance and in the act but those are usually the dull ones…

A man does not want a log of wood beside him. First of all sex for him begins in the mind where and when he conjures images and imagery of how rewarding sex or making loving with you will be. This leads to the anticipation of what lies beneath all your layers of clothing in and around your pleasure zones…he’s already halfway to paradise.

Next comes your physical beauty…if he sees what he likes; he knows he has found paradise. Getting down to the nitty-gritty; now girls when the live action begins…if you really do care, this is the time to share, show and pray do tell. Show him how he makes you feel by the way you look at him, touch and caress him. Tell him exactly how being with him makes you feel. The way and manner your body responds to his touch has its own language and will definitely send him to paradise.

Lovemaking is a long but very rewarding chore…umm! That’s if you don’t mind all the wahala involved but it has to be worth it.

I say this because all men are not created equal…

Size does matter to the extent that you know what to do with it! If the size is right but you ain’t doing it right, 9ja we have a problem! Surprise! Surprise! This goes both ways!

If a man is too big for the woman, wahala!
If the woman is too big for the man…more wahala!
If the man is big but the container is too small, na wetin we go do! It means part of him has to remain outside in the rain and cold!

If the woman is big and the man small…how will she feel a thing! It will be like an itch on your back that you can’t scratch! Wetin naw!

All things being equal, whether having sex or making love, if you are with that special someone, you can have the best of both worlds.

26 thoughts on “Between The Sheets” by Dotta Raphels (@dottaraphels)

  1. Personally, I think ‘love making’ is just a word created to glamorize sex. Is it not the same back and forth motion?

    The difference is just contextual. So a man who takes his time with a prostitute is ‘making love’ while a man who is quick and fast with his wife just had sex with her? Pah. It’s all sexual intercourse.

    And to think ‘love making’ used to mean ‘wooing’ or ‘courtship’…

    ‘Interesting’ discourse.

    1. @seun-odukoya, back and forth kini? hahahahahaha.

    2. @Seun. While I agree with you that ‘love making’ is created to ‘glamorize sex’ but bear in mind that those who created it know why they created it. I’m sure you are a man! Men, we don’t perceive sexual intercourse the same women do.

      In general, people engage in sexual intercourse for reasons. For some women, they must connect with a man physically and emotionally before they get down n dirty. For some men, every reasonable hole must be entered. For so many others, it is just for the fun of it…their own personal reasons.

      I’ve personally dated certain women who ‘glamorize’ sexual intercourse and when the details of how different they (sex and love making) feel are given to you, just like Dotta did above, you can’t resist to agree that indeed there is a difference.

      With that mindset of theirs, personally, I can’t ‘make love’ to a prostitute regardless how long we both take to do whatever because I’d never be connected with her… We’re are talking of someone whose profession is having sex…I’d wonder how many people have been ‘in that’ before me; how many people she did this she is doing now to! It’s disgusting!

      1. let me expand on what you touched on a lil, Paschal, men are turned on mostly by the physical, the soft swell of a breast, a rounded hip, women on the other hand are mostly turned on by the emotional connection. This is why a guy can go with ten women who are his ‘spec’ and not feel guilty about it. Disclaimer here, Im not going to talk religion,,,,,women like to be toasted, even when the woman knows you’re sprouting crap… not to digress, men are more into sex while women are into lovemaking.Nice piece Dotta, encourage us to visit again, write more.

  2. Now, I don’t know what to make of this except that when the man ‘thing’ finds solace in an appropriate female ‘thing’, you get heaven on earth in four minutes. Right?
    To me, sex -or lovemaking- is one of life’s good things bestowed on us by the Almighty Himself. A good lay is unrivalled. My opinion. *smiles.
    Nice work @dottaraphels

  3. Well no one can accuse Dotta of being a prude..Ha!..

    @seun-odukoya. Yes d word lovemaking might have been ‘invented’ to glamourize sex, but then, isn’t there a difference to the back and forth motion, when it is with someone you care for a lot?

    Would having sex with one’s wife or with a prostitute feel the same way?…I’d like to think not..

    Aha! Dotta from discussing christianity and life to sex?..Hmmm,.. you keep surprising me in a good way…Welldone..$ß

    1. @sibblywhyte…

      It really does not matter what you think.

      Far as I’m concerned; it’s just words. They have no meaning for me. NONE.

    2. Interesting @Bubbllinna! I’ve not read anything else from @Dotta, but dear, does Christianity teach us to avoid discussing ‘sex’?
      I think we are all human beings, and it is in human nature to feel sexual… Sexual feelings are innate and inevitable and no one, I mean, no one can tell you he or she does not feel it because it is auto-regulatory by hormones…Let alone discussing it.

      In other words, I think it is OK to discuss sex.

  4. I must confess that I spent about one hour just reading this piece. Don’t ask me why.


    But please, next time, don’t hold back words. They’re for use. So use them. Worst, use the crafted, less offensive ones.

    1. @babyada I think it is very entertaining too! I didn’t see any offensive words though.

    2. shai (@shaifamily)

      @babyada why? Yes! I just asked. One whole hour!!! Na wa o.

      1. @Shaifamily, you want to know why? Let’s see at our usual place.

        1. @babyada yea, btw d sheets. Hahaha.

  5. Well-written, @Dotta Raphels! Very interesting! Not so many people have the guts to write about such a sensitive word as ‘sex’ because everyone wants to look cool and impressive. LOL! Write more!

  6. making love, having sex, fucking…..all na same!…yea, i agree with @babyada….never hold back(i think you did) when talking sensitive topics like this….either you go all the way with it or don’t go near it……

    …and a quickie is always more rewarding than the whole mushy gushy stuff……girls? do you always remember half of what y’all say when fucking?

  7. shai (@shaifamily)

    *This is something very unusual*
    Interesting analogy@@Seun-Odukoya. You av spoken as the macho…the author, only how a female will speak about sex.
    Btw d sexes we know which is more sentimental.

    Now, as far as sex goes- it is a territory where both partners have got to find or invent what is best for them.
    I agree, size matters…and for those who talk about no sex before marriage, something to think about….
    Will y’all be getting ur tape rules out?

  8. Very interesting narrative @ dotta.
    I think people get it wrong when sex is mentioned there is need for serious education in dis arena.
    I must also add tht Christianity doesnt exempt us from talking abt this,it only frowns @ it when done outside d parameters of marriage.

    1. That does not mean u should not admire a good thing especially as a writer.I have written highly sensual poems that doesnt mean I am spoilt,it only advances d reality that I m a person who gives voice to feelings,yet I uphold my christian values.voila!.Once more, Well done.

  9. you should have put a BIG 18+ on this one. some of us are very under 18 and still want to enjoy NS. i enjoyed it sha. *pls dnt tell my mum¿*

  10. Abegi no difference jare.

  11. “Between the sheets, ko,” there must have been a leak where this piece escaped from.
    Quite interesting discourse, sensual as well as sensible.
    As usual, @Dotta, you wrote well.

    Just wondering- “as long as you are with the one you care [?]”- isn’t there a missing preposition like [about/for]?

    1. @Chimzorom, yes thank you. As always,very keen eyes,lol.
      Missing prep noted…

  12. All these people seff.
    For a man, sex, quickie, love making….all is the same reward.

  13. Hehehehe…sex…lovemaking…

    @Seun-Odukoya and @ablyguy…difference dey o…difference dey is the act while lovemaking is the art. Everybody(well, not everybody) can write but only a few can write creatively and that’s because those few, have learned and mastered the art. Mastering the art of sex is lovemaking.

    @kaycee…depends on the definition of ‘reward’ here.

  14. by the way, Between the Sheets happens to be the title of my all time favorite song, by the Isley Brothers…its been sampled by Gwen Stefani, BIG, Drake…etc….

    1. Welcome to Naija Lulu, glad the piece got your attention.

      I love the Isley Bros…Biggy and Gwen gave a new twist to it.

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