The Catholics seem to have an infatuation with the Virgin Mary and I sometimes find myself wondering whom they reverence more – The Son of God himself, Jesus Christ or his mother, the Virgin Mary. Whichever way the answer goes, it is an indisputable fact that the mother of Jesus Christ (often times referred to as ‘Mother of God’) is held in the highest esteem by those who profess the Catholic faith. I have often wondered what made Mary so special. Was it the fact that she conceived our Lord? Possibly. But then, anyone could have been chosen by God to carry His Son and that would have made Mary just like every other woman in the Bible.
Then, was Mary special because she believed the Angel Gabriel who brought the news and totally surrendered herself to God’s will? Maybe. But then, any other woman could have believed the Angel and become the mother of our Saviour. So what makes Mary indeed special? Have you ever considered that it could be as a result of her virginity as at the time of her conception? Now, I think I’d like to go with that. Our Lord, Jesus Christ was conceived in the fresh womb of a woman who had never had carnal knowledge of a man. Why did God not choose just any woman or some woman with one or two kids to carry His Son? God chose Mary, thereby further stressing the sacredness of virginity.
From time immemorial, there has always been a strong reference attached to virginity and it dates back to Bible times and probably beyond. It was always every man’s desire to marry a young maiden, as virgins were called at the time. In fact, in some portions of the Bible, maidens who had been defiled before marriage were recommended to be put to death. In Africa, traditional sacrifices have been made (and still are) with virgins. I have also heard that in Islam, it is believed that any man who dies in the cause of jihad (Holy War against the infidels) would be rewarded in Al-Jana (Heaven) with seven virgins or something like that. Now that sounds funny, right? How many guys like virgins today? I know I don’t. lol. All these theories go a long way to prove the sacredness of virginity. However, the key point to note here is that the virginity in question has to do with the females and not the males, so I wonder if that implies that young men are free to defile themselves at any point in their lives without necessarily feeling like they have committed an offense deserving of death. Well, I wouldn’t know.
The aforesaid only shows how things should be or had always been. However today, it is a totally different story. The theory of the sacred virgin has been totally displaced like a pack of cards. In fact, it is almost a taboo to still be a virgin at a certain ages thus girls in their late teens or twenties who still find themselves with their virginity intact have come to be ashamed of something they really should be proud of. How hilarious! The Sacredness of Virginity has now become a thing of the past! At least, that is what I discovered a good number of years ago.
I lost my virginity (that’s if guys really could be called virgins) at a rather early stage to a much older girl. I was about fifteen then. Sometimes memories of the experience still make me smile and sigh at the same time. One thing I took from that experience however was the instant surge of desire in me to always want to indulge in sexual activity even though I never had the opportunity to try again for a good while after my first experience. I also began to feel inclined to indulge in a few more vices I probably would never have attempted. Now, I wonder if losing my ‘virginity’ was responsible for opening the doors to vices I began to indulge in. lol. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I had remained sexually inexperienced till date (I heard there are men like that! Wow!). Would I have been a better person? Maybe. The years rolled by and I had relationships, some sexual, some non-sexual and as I grew, my confidence grew and so did the sexual experiences. Fast forward to 2005 and my relationship with BG, my virgin girlfriend.
UJ’s sudden exit from my life had me left with no choice but to return to BG and I was more determined to deal with the virginity thing once and for all. I had read a good number of romance novels and magazines and practically convinced myself that a romantic relationship devoid of sexual activity was stupid and meaningless, a theory I tried ceaselessly to sell to BG. She however seemed resolute on her stand to keep her virginity till her wedding night. I could hardly understand what any nineteen year old girl would still be doing as a virgin when her peers were busy having all the fun in the world. I thought of breaking up with her on many occasions but rescinded on the decision especially because I did not want to repeat what my friend Sam had done. At a point however, I decided to damn my considerations and tell her to either give in to my request or watch me walk away. While I pondered on the thought, BG made the most unexpected request. On that fateful day she told me she was ready.
“Are you serious?” I asked, feeling butterflies in my tummy.
“Yes” she said, smiling.
I was not convinced. “What influenced this decision?” I probed further.
She shrugged and looked away from me. “I guess I love you too much to lose you.”
Those words crushed my heart and I felt like a greedy animal. I realized I would be taking undue advantage of her by allowing her give herself to me before she was ready.
“Geebee, do you see us ever getting married?” she asked suddenly.
I had to think for a good while before answering. She really didn’t seem like my dream girl. I had always envisaged my future wife as a tall (BG was 5’2 while I was 6’1), beautiful (BG was okay but scored 60% as far as beauty was concerned in my books which wasn’t really a bad score but then, you know . . .), academically smart (BG was on the average), heroine in bed (BG was none of that) and above all, a book lover and a writer (BG never gave a hoot about books).
“It’s possible” I heard myself say, “but marriage is the last thing on my mind right now.”
I was twenty and believed I still had ten years to go.
We remained silent for a good while until I decided to relieve the tension.
“Look, let’s just forget about the sex thing for now, okay” I said, meaning it.
“But you want it” BG said, and I saw the sincerity in her eyes, making me feel all the more guilty.
“Yes but I guess the time’s not right” I said, surprising myself.
We kissed passionately right then and I realized I really did care about this girl. Sex could wait for all I cared at that moment as I convinced myself that we would manage. We did not have to wait for too long. Fast forward to February 2006.
SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.