That feeling… that mood.

 

THAT FEELING… THAT MOOD

 

I am  scared, it seems, and why, I wonder;

I see folks die, day by day;

When shall mine be, I often ponder;

Yet that is no price I am scared to pay.

 

Questions I’ve got, I itch to ask;

They are  for they, who have lost ones loved;

It pricks me, though, how they might sound;

Yet, this puzzle, I do want  solved.

 

How did it feel; their eternal repose?

Perhaps, some danger, had you sensed near?

What was it like, their laying to rest?

How feels that absence of one so dear?

 

Often, I sense death’s cold, stiff hands;

Gripping, enclosing on ones dear to me;

Goose bumps, I grow; my heartbeat quickens;

Yet, most times, none is stung by even a bee.

 

No reason, I see, for one, death to fear;

With  he at peace with his master, his God;

For this, I crave, for they I love:

Faith- held by Christ’s word; in His blood’s firm cord.

 

These are them questions, through my mind doth race;

I yearn to be- not misunderstood;

I dread to see my loved ones gone;

Yet  wonder I; that feeling… that mood.

 

 

{Hi, do comment and chastise “without mercy”…lol}

Chimzorom.



16 thoughts on “That feeling… that mood.” by Chimzorom (@chimzorom)

  1. You know writing about death is, to me, one of the most difficult quest to engage in as a writer (I have been working on a post on death for three months and still haven’t yet crystallized a winning thought, yet).

    Nice…but I think you took an easy exit, by going with the “faith” route. Once you spin the “God/Religion” factor into poetry, it becomes difficult to explore the concept further. I was with you up until then; I felt the goose bumps. But you slapped me with that God spin into it and it just left the poem, flat.

    After the phrase “Yet, most times, none is stung by even a bee”, I felt the next paragraph should have led the readers further into the feeling of death, into the harsh emotions surrounding it.

    (please note: I am a christian, this is not to criticize the faith).

    1. @seyi987yahoo, thanks for the point.
      I perfectly understand. Let’s just say I chose that path.
      Sorry for the slap, but that’s the message I meant to pass across; faith.

  2. I personally enjoyed this..

    I also can relate with seyi’s comment, above but still I feel that there are many routes explorable to a poem like this… and you simply chose one of them.

    Very well done @chimzorom

  3. Thanks a lot!

  4. This is very lovely I especially liked the fact that you put “religion/God” in it, though I must say whenever you do that in poetry you kinda lose the effect it would have on the reader, knowing that most of the things we don’t understand in this world has religious origin/backing/explanation……
    Try to put some more twist/mystery round it instead of looking for “solace” in religion.
    Nice work though, really good.

    1. Thanks, I’m glad you liked it.
      As for the “solace” thing, I kinda like finding it in God instead of mystery.

  5. I love death poems…
    This wasn’t poetic anyway…even though u added that “doth..” and…

    1. Sorry it didn’t meet your standards, just one of my early steps to greater heights. Thank’s for the challenging comment… motivational.

  6. Thanks y’all. Points noted…

  7. Nice poem…I guess this is how U wanted it to be..
    I must confess though that the punctuation marks ‘boku’ for this poem..It actually makes me wonder if punctuations can be too much..lol..Well done..

  8. Thanks, I’m not sure how to go about the “bokuness” of the punctuation marks, though. I’ll sure look into it.

  9. you are good wiv words, dictions and the rhymes seem to make sense. the thought you create is well felt

    1. Thank you very much, @chisom

  10. your words are mightier than life’s cruel sword………..

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