Eni Itan

Eni Itan

Enitan woke up suddenly in the middle of the night perspiring heavily, the white bed spread, was heavily patched and wet from the excessive sweat coming out of his body. The water coming out of his body was not normal as he had slept in his boxer shorts and singlet, and the OX electrical fan and the split AC in his room were working at maximum capacity.
It was not his fault that he couldn’t sleep; these cycles of insomnia had become a regular feature of his life in the last three weeks or so, particularly since the gale of job cuts and retrenchment started at Dodonkodi Bank where he works. Within the last three weeks, Enitan has watched helplessly as the gale of retrenchment swept away his manager, and even close confidants at work. At the last count over twenty five members of staff had been laid off at the branch where he worked in what the management said was the first batch of the retrenchment exercise.
Enitan got up from the bed dripping with sweat as if he had just taken a shower. He pulled off his singlet and went into the living room where he proceeded to switch on the light. What he saw further depressed him, his living room was tastefully furnished with a 32 inch plasma TV firmly glued to the wall complemented by the large home theater multipurpose audio- visual musical set with giant speakers. The dining section of the living room had imported glass dining chairs and tables. The whole living room was rugged in Arabian carpets while 2 split air conditioning systems adequately ventilated the living room. Enitan shivered and wondered how he was going to be able to maintain his present type of lifestyle supposing the inevitable happens. He sat down on one of the sofas and he put on the TV. He checked the wall clock and he discovered it was just past midnight. He attempted to change the channels on the TV in an effort to steady his nerves by watching TV, he soon discovered he wasn’t making any headway he threw away the remote control and sank his whole frame into the sofa with his face buried in his two palms.
His mind raced fast to the past. He remembered how he had struggled through school having lost his parents when he was still a child, he had been raised by a distant aunt who also struggled through life that most of the time she had found it almost impossible to provide him with essentials talk less of anything extra while he was growing up. He had gone through the University by his own sheer will and determination. He had suffered indignities and deprivations but he persisted. And his efforts were crowned when he graduated and secured a job immediately with Dodonkodi Bank as an Executive Trainee. This period marked a turning point in his life, as his emoluments which were in the realm of a six digit figure per annum completely transformed him.
It had been two years now that he has been in the employ of Dodonkodi Bank, and Enitan had transformed into a swashbuckling, haughty and rich twenty six year old young man. He had completely embraced the good life, he drives one of the best automobiles in town, he had rented a 2 bedroom apartment in the upscale section of town, he travelled first class, he drank exotic wines, he ate outlandish cuisines and courted the most beautiful girls in town, and he seemingly enjoyed the good life while it lasted. But before one could whisper “economic recession” the good life he enjoyed became threatened with the “gale” and “tsunamis” of job cuts in his bank. Enitan’s case had been made worse by the fact that he had contacted a soothsayer at the onset of the retrenchments and he had been told in no uncertain terms that he would surely be sacked before the end of the retrenchment exercises in his bank
Where do I start from, he muttered out from his recumbent position on the sofa aaah! Igboro ti daru ! He exclaimed nervously as he remembered that although so much money and opportunities had passed through his hands in the last two years he had not achieved any transcendental transformation in his personal life talk less of in the lives of people who were close to him. Suddenly his old aunt’s constant chorus of “ranti omo eniti iwon se” which were admonitions to him to remember his humble roots but which he unfortunately never took heed off began to make sense to him. He jerked as the alarm clock from his bedroom began to make its presence felt subtly across the whole apartment. He suddenly realized he has not slept at all and he needs to start getting ready for work as he looked at the wall clock in the living room and discovered it was 6am. He shrugged and shivered as he remembered that the last batch of retrenchment exercise in his office was slated for today. As he made straight for the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and stepped into the shower. With cold water splattering all over his body while he stood under the shower motionless and lost in thought.
Pon! Pon!! Pon!!! His neighbor’s car horn jolted him out of his reverie as he realized that his neighbor was already set for work and was waiting for him to come and pull his car that was parked at the rear of his neighbor’s car out of the way. He dashed out of the bathroom naked with water dripping all over his body straight into his bedroom where he quickly got dressed up for work with his neighbor still pressing his car horn as if he was rehearsing for a musical concert. He got out of his apartment apologizing profusely to his neighbor who ignored him with so much disdain written on his face.
On getting to work, he went straight to his desk. Surprisingly he discovered he could not gain access to the computer on his desk. He shivered and a creeping cold sensation knocked his spine “perhaps the inevitable has finally happened” he muttered incoherently as he began to sweat. And almost immediately he was sent for by the new manager. He almost peed in his trousers when he heard that his attention was sought for by the manager. He walked to the manager’s office dazed and as he moved his legs they felt so heavy like logs of wood. In what seemed like eternity, he finally arrived at the manager’s office. The manager didn’t even look at him as he was busy working with his computer but proceeded to hand a brown envelope to him. By now Enitan’s eye balls were almost popping out of their sockets as he felt everything in the manager’s office swirling round, he burst into hysteria as he started crying, shouting and pleading…
No sir! “You can’t do this to me I beg you in the name of everything you cherish”
“Don’t do this to me”
“ I have nobody to turn to!” Please sir…!
As he was saying these he was rolling on the floor and his hands held the manager’s feet. Embarrassed and astonished, his boss shouted
“Do what to you?”
Ah! Ah!! “Sir I beg you don’t sack me”
“Sack?” The manager squealed more astonished
“But you have just been promoted and this is your letter”, he waived the letter which Enitan had refused to collect aloft.
“P-r-o-m-o-t-i-o-n?” Enitan asked like a drunk
“Yes”! The manager reaffirmed
On hearing this Enitan passed out!

16 thoughts on “Eni Itan” by babsiwalewa (@babsiwalewa)

  1. Niceeeeeeeee! There is lesson to be learnt here. A lot of us die before we are killed…if were eventually killed that is.

  2. Nice. I followed your description so vividly that at the end… I also nearly passed out.

    [do check some errors with tenses and punctuation]

  3. Nice..I agree with the first comment…Check for the mix-up of your tenses..Well done..

  4. Great story line. Take note of the tenses as adviced, and also try to review the tempo of the story. You were quite fast to tell most of the events. The attack on the story did not highlight the transitions in the story even though there were many. I like the twist and the lesson from the story. Great work. You are a great writer.

  5. bbtagoro (@bbtagoro)

    That was great. I wish some bankers can read this story. There are lessons to be learnt here as most of them just live by the moment not preparing for the future until it caught them unaware.

    It wont surprise me if someone like Enitan forgets this line of experience as soon as he begin his new life of a promoted banker.

    Meanwhile, please keep to the advices given to you to be a better writer. I wish you good luck.

  6. See me mind is wondering what the manager would do next…lovely story.

  7. Very amusing story, @babsiwalewa. Reminds me of this story. I like that it was simple and readable, and that there was the unexpected twist at the end.

  8. I agree that your narration also caught me up in the suspense, but I have to say that the punctuation leaves a lot to be desired. The use of commas and semi-colons in particular.

  9. Lol
    Quite good.

  10. caspapa (@caspapa)

    Good work, i will ask my friend to read this. thanks man.

  11. The story feels rushed – hence the effect was blunted through most of the telling.

    Please…work harder at refining your art. You can write no doubt – but clean it up.


  12. Hahahahaaha. This is really funny. You try jare.

  13. indeed, a coward dies a thousand times before his death, hahahaha

  14. Really nice work with great suspense, though I quite agree with everyone else about the rushed plot, tenses and punctuation, and also the repitition in reference to the neighbour. Keep at it…you’ve sure caught the writing bug, make sure you remain infected :-)

  15. omoakin (@omoakin)

    Great work,at first I thought it would have a second episode cos it was interesting to end this way way….Nice story build on ur punctuation esp “

Leave a Reply