Puberty Complaint

Puberty Complaint

 

 

God Almighty,

First Mansion on the Street of Gold,

Off Somewhere in Outer Space,

Heaven City.

P.O.BOX:  0001

 

 

Dear God,

How are you Sir? Hope all is well? It has been six months I wrote to you last, and I must say it is such a pleasure to write to you again after such a long time. If you remember my last letter, I wrote about my desire to discover the gifts you have put in me. I am happy to tell you I have found one of these gifts, singing, and I have decided to serve you with this gift by joining the church choir. I am really enjoying my role as a chorister, and Pastor Francis said I have the potential to become the lead singer soon. I hope he is right; I’m looking forward to the day I’ll actually lead the choir to sing about the beauty of heaven and salvation. I am very thankful for all your letters encouraging me to discover my gifts, and I am sorry I have not written a thank you letter since. However, Sir, I am writing this letter because I am facing a new problem, a problem I think may lead me to hell-fire.

I turned fourteen six months ago, and as I was taught in my biology class, I’m experiencing some interesting physical changes. First, my moustache is sprouting; even teachers at school are pestering me about shaving it. Also, Papa, Mama, and my relatives are saying my voice has deepened; when I talk on the phone, they mistake me for an adult. Pastor Francis told  me all these changes show I am entering a new phase in life, he told me that it is you who caused these changes to happen and I should be grateful to you.  Sir, I am really grateful for all these changes , but there is one change that is happening  in me I don’t like , one change I am scared of ,one change I think is from Satan.

Of recent, I have being liking girls oddly, I really mean oddly. I am not talking about the way I used to like my neighbor Amaka because of her pretty face , or the way I used to like my friend Funmi because she could sing very well , or the way I liked Adaeze because she always helped me with my assignments. This new kind of “like” is different.

There is a sixteen-year old girl singing with me in the choir, her name is Ndidi. Like me, she is also a new member. Both of us don’t talk much, but I feel something for this girl I have never felt in my life. Not only do I like the fact that she is fair-skinned, with an oval-shaped face which easily makes her the prettiest girl in the choir, and the fact that she has a very powerful voice, there are other things I see myself liking beyond my control. God, my admiration for this girl is surreal; I am so fascinated by  the way her skirt fits so tightly on her waist to reveal her very shapely lower figure, and the way her blouse allow the curves of her breasts to show. One day, we choristers had a picnic at the beach, because we wanted to swim, we all wore our swimming outfit. Ndidi wore a tank-suit, it made me want to look at her even more. During this picnic, she came to me and asked me if she looked beautiful in her tank-suit, I should have kept quiet, but I sinned, I said yes.

God, what is happening to me?  Is Ndidi a witch or have I become demon possessed? I discussed this issue with my senior brother, Jude, and he just said all these feelings are normal, a part of puberty. But I find it very hard to believe Jude because he is not a strong Christian like me. God, I know all these feelings are sinful because Pastor Francis always says Christians should be holy, and I know these feelings are unholy. God I hate puberty , I don’t want to go to hell because of puberty , please take away this demonic puberty from me , I don’t want to go to hell. Or God kill Ndidi and save me from going to hell. I know her beauty is from Satan. I really hate her, I am sure she has bewitched me , knowing fully well I am going to be a great choir leader as Pastor Francis prophesied. I avoid her like her plague, and this is very obvious to her and other choir members.

God, why should I, a Christian, a choir member, feel this way?  Pastor Francis always said that when one becomes a Christian, you take away all our sins and make us holy. But why haven’t you taken these unholy puberty feelings from me? Pastor Francis also said that you made everything in this world, so did you also make these strange feelings too? If you did make these feelings God, why would you do such a wicked thing? Why would you give me these evil puberty feelings and expect me to go to heaven?

Please God this is my complaint, I am confused. Please remove these feelings from me by your power and kill my enemy Ndidi that I may fulfill my purpose of being a Christian singer in this life,  and go to heaven when I die. Please Sir, reply quickly.

Your’s Sincerely,

Emeka Ohameze.

 

**********************************************************

 

 

 


Emeka Ohameze,

No 19b Adebola Street,

Opposite Tope Falomo Gardens,

Agege,

Lagos Nigeria.

P.O.BOX:  3890

 

Dear Emeka,

Finally, I have heard from you after six months — which seemed like a thousand years to me. I am very well thank you. I’ve been very busy, dealing with the usual earth problems, you human beings give me a lot of work, but I’m always happy to solve them. From your letter, I see you have found your place as a chorister. I am glad you did not stop searching for your gifts. Since you have found your gift of singing, practice regularly and be loyal to your choir; you’ll be a top man before you know it.

Now, I see the real reason for your taking so long to write to me, Ndidi and those “demonic feelings”, well let me address the issue. In your letter, you said you were on a quest to find your gifts, and you have already found one, singing.  Emeka , I can confidently tell you that you’ve found another one , your sexuality. Perhaps you should humbly listen to your elder brother, Jude, though he may not be a “strong Christian” as you say, he is older than you with a lot of life experience. As he said, your feelings are normal, a part of growth, you’re not demon-possessed. Just as you decided to use your gift of singing to serve me, do the same with your sexuality.

I would have written more information about this your “new gift”, but if I tell you everything, it may take you another six months to write to me again. So I have not written much in this letter, I want to keep you curious. Ask me more questions concerning this issue, so that we can keep in touch more frequently.

 

Your Friend,

God.

 



50 thoughts on “Puberty Complaint” by aghoghosam (@aghoghosam)

  1. I like this – but I think you spoiled it by adding God’s reply. I think you should have made us wait – or at least allowed us answer it with our imaginations.

    Nice one all the same.

    I’m aware of the fact that your ‘God’ answer is your perception of the issue, not necessarily how God will respond. I’m just saying.

    Nice.

    1. @seun-odukoya – Thank you Seun. Yeah true , writing the God part was hard and tricky. Initially, I wanted to leave that part out but I also wanted to bring some closure to the story too :P…All the same many thanks man :D

      1. My very opinion too

    2. Thought so too…

  2. Nice one. U don try.

  3. Deep imaginations. Nice concept

    1. @louis Ah Thanks bros :)

  4. Hahaha..I like, I like, I love!..Sam this is imaginative!..I didn’t expect the God’s reply yet..But I enjoyed having to read it…Well done.

    1. @sibbylwhyte Thank you so much :D..Glad you loved it , yeah I just felt God had to reply….somehow.

      Thanks

    1. @babyada Thank you , just read your story “Unexpressed” which also addresses sexuality among choristers…maybe our minds are in sync..lol.

  5. God, what is happening to me? Is Ndidi a witch or have I become demon possessed? I discussed this issue with my senior brother, Jude, and he just said all these feelings are normal, a part of puberty. But I find it very hard to believe Jude because he is not a strong Christian like me. God, I know all these feelings are sinful because Pastor Francis always says Christians should be holy, and I know these feelings are unholy. God I hate puberty , I don’t want to go to hell because of puberty , please take away this demonic puberty from me , I don’t want to go to hell. Or God kill Ndidi and save me from going to hell. I know her beauty is from Satan. I really hate her, I am sure she has bewitched me , knowing fully well I am going to be a great choir leader as Pastor Francis prophesied.

    This is my favorite part in the whole write-up….I loved it especially the letter to God, I didn’t really like God’s reply…perhaps he shouldn’t have replied at all….Well done…fantastic piece

    1. @enoquin hehehehe I tried to portray the boy’s fear in that paragraph , since you loved it , I guess I pulled it off..lol. Well, the God part was supposed to bring closure to the story, anyways I have learned something. :)

      Fact : The protagonist in this story is actually a cousin to the house-girl in your story “How I wan take talk am”… lol

      Thank You

  6. This is very creative.
    But the fourteen year old sounded much older.
    Hmmn, I wonder what Lucifer will have to say about this.
    Should I mail you Lucifer’s letter?

    1. heheheheehehehehe! @kaycee, na you get Lucifer P.O box, shey? hehehehehehe

    2. hehehehehe..:):-):-):-):-):-)hahaha.. *can’t stop laughing*
      I beg @kaycee: make you write reply version of the letter in devil’s voice. I know say na you get im P.O Box and telephone numbers.

      seriously speaking, such version will add taste to this write up.

      I love it, enjoy it. Good one

      1. @greatness4life and @banky thanks a lot for your comments bros , I wonder what @kaycee is up to for Lucifer’s version…hehe

    3. @kaycee many thanks , interesting you have Lucifer’s P.O.Box….just wondering, you have his BB pin too ?…lol !

  7. Epistolary…Very creative angle to a teenage feeling.Well done.

    1. @sambrightomo – Many Thank You’s’ .. :)

  8. Lol, if I get the permission from this writer, I could post a story, a letter from bros Lucifer to the 14 year old.

    1. @kaycee : i’m sure this dude will grant you the permission to do that. Ask, it shall be given.

      since you already have God’s reply version in the story, the devil’s version will give hints as to what devil intended/planned for everyone passing through puberty period.

    2. @kaycee – I give you copyrights (permission) to repost this story in your desired format…hehehehe

    3. @kaycee, on behalf of the writer, I grant you permission! I am waiting joor!!!

  9. I like the fact that it is an epistolary narrative. However, I think you could have done more with the feelings. A more detail led description of the feelings would have portrayed the young man’s innocence better. You could also work on the title. Great idea though.

  10. @brownieowolabi – Thanks a lot :D . I didn’t want the character to express his feelings too much ; this show his pride and somewhat over-religious personality, instead he tends to spiritualize them. He has not yet accepted that these “unholy feelings” are his :)
    Wow , you are not feeling the title ??

  11. @kaycee : now that the permission is granted. Don’t forget to include devil’s Address, phone numbers, emails, P.O Box and BB PIN(s)… Lol

  12. Creative
    Really nice…
    I wish many teens would have access to this. reading our ‘confusions’ (from other peeps…experiences) really help us see them clearer

    1. Thanks a lot @adaobiokwy . True , you see a problem better in third-person :). You say you wish many teens could have access to this , you can always share this tale :)).. Again, thanks a lot

  13. I don’t think the 14yr-old sounded older than he should.

    On the contrary I enjoyed this and the naivety conveyed in the young boy’s letter to God.

    Good Thinking well put!!!

  14. @teewah I’m happy a proficient writer like you finds this interesting , many thanks :)

  15. Yea… Questions we ask God… Nice concept.

    1. @gooseberry – ese pupo o :P , I assume you speak yoruba

  16. I snort-laughed when he asked God to kill Ndidi.

    Nice one. I agree with @Seun.

    1. @raymond – hehehe , hope the snort-laugh felt good ?..lol.. Thanks man. And yes, Seun has a point.

  17. @aghoghosam, I found this very creative, very well-written and very amusing.

    I don’t think the God reply was necessary, but neither do I think it spoilt things.

    Please accept 25 points for a job well done!

  18. @TolaO – Many Thanks for your encouraging words, I’m honored :) . Yes , other members pointed out God’s part too , but I felt it should be in the story.

    I gladly accept the 25 points :D. Thank you

  19. I love this. Brilliant.

  20. @aghoghosam as promised, I have written a response by the devil on my blog (check this link: bit.ly/JnzbiV). I hope you like it.

  21. @seyi987yahoo – Just read it and left a comment :) Great job man !!! I’m so honored you were inspired by this writing to come up with that piece.

    HONESTLY , you should post it here on naijastories , people will love it :)

    1. I most definitely would do.
      Thanks boss.

  22. I read the devil’s reply. Nice peice.

  23. @aghoghosam,if u havnt postd this 2facebook,i appeal u do/grant m d permission to-our youths are dancing to hell in d name of fun-its temptation we all encounter

  24. @thrilla – Thanks for commenting , PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE WHEREVER , I give you permission. True, youths must hear this. :)

  25. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    Awww, quite sweet, and believable.

  26. @aghoghosam, I liked this. That boy is so over-spiritual. He needs serious counselling…

  27. @guywriterer – Thanks man. Seriously :)….He does bro…lol

  28. @AGHOGHOSAM
    nostalgic sentiments……………

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