History, War and the Big IF

History, War and the Big IF

Lemme start this way; what is history? If you have a dictionary there, check it up, I don’t have one here. But I think history is pretty much what happened in the past that has shaped the present like smouldered iron when put into cast. That is it, ‘a past event that has shaped the present’. But my drift is this, what if that event had occurred differently? Would the present be different to what it is?

What if Napoleon had conquered the world? Would all be speaking French? Assuming the chief security of the blockade of the Royal Navy of England had gulped a couple pints of beer and had fallen asleep the night the Nazi’s invaded during World War II, would Hitler be ruling the world? Albert Einstein could have sold ‘e=mc^2’ to Hitler early enough and the disaster would have been worse than the Hiroshima thing, jut like a pebble damage to a dynamite. World War II could have gone either ways, or better still, what if Mr Hitler Snr wasn’t on drugs the night he raped Mrs Hitler? Yeah, you Jews love the sound of that.

‘History would always glorify the hunters until lions get to have their own historians’ ( I love this line). What if lions developed intelligence to take over the world? What would the world be like if Pinky and Brain succeeded in their quest? Imagine what it could have been like if Stevie Wonder wasn’t blind, probably he wont be singing at all, could’ve become a doctor or something. Just think, how would the present be like if measles had eaten up your eyes? Or you could’ve been flushed out with the ‘monthly thing’ women do. There are many ‘ifs’ in our lives and they just happen to be part of history and what could have been.

There are many events that could have happened or not, to shape or life. WAEC could have asked more of circle geometry instead of trigonometry. I** could have been shagging his wife (RIP) on June 12 and forget to annul that election, would Nigeria be different to what it is now? Or IB*’s dad could have been gay and his mum lesbian.Toyota could have made Yaris a little more masculine, probably they would have discovered the brake defect earlier. This may feel disjointed/disconnected (delete as applicable), but I feel our lives could have turned out differently if we had chosen some plan B’s over some plan A’s.

There was this dude whose car fell over a flyover. His car was hit by a young drunk fellow. Imagine the drunken dude had not had a hectic day at work, or his boss didn’t yell the living daylight out of him that made him go to the bar to buy some beverage. Imagine he didn’t meet an old buddy who bought him some bottles. He could have stopped at the 9th bottle. Imagine the bar had no parking space. Well, he got drunk like a soaked sponge that the scent of his sweat could make someone else get tipsy, he then took the short route to heaven and took a totally innocent person with him. But then, the other dude could have taken another route, he could have checked traffic details on his phone and decided to take another path. He could have even stayed a few more seconds at the filling station to pee, it could have been different. That’s how funny history could actually be.

The inventor of mobile telephony could’ve used the technology for something else (like mobile porn, or modified beer- would’ve been better IMO). Leeches could have been seen only as a parasite and not used as a healing means. A billion trillion reasons could have made Bill Gates complete his college education. A hundred more factors could have kept Mummy Obj from having Sea gun; it could’ve come as a still birth. But all these depend on the big ‘IF’. What if you had read that part that made 60% of your first jamb, would you have studied what you did? What if PHCN (halo!!) decides to do their thing when your are about to click save to that important document and you have a very terrible battery system. Can you imagine what a good life you would have had if you didn’t fall from that bike, 12 years ago.

The status of today depends on the events of yesterday, just like day and night depends on earths revolution. Would facebook achieve its virus-esque status if it was designed by an Ibo boy? Dunno. What you do now is gonna shape your future. You could chose to read a book or watch the next crap STV is gonna feed you with, you can decide to go for a cheap light weight car rather than a strong stable one (no offence to Kia). Some steps seem insignificant, but it goes a long way in positioning you for a better future. You might wanna stop eating that doughnut, cos that last bite can make you fat.

If you had passed JAMB and you got the course of your choice, would you have met me? If you didn’t trip and I covered your a**, would we have been friends? If I was dirty and smelly the first day you met me, would you have even talked to me? Really, a lot of things in our life could have turned out differently if we did/didn’t take some certain steps. For me, I shape history with my present and I hold no regret about what shaped my present (well, not all). Cos, you’re now part of my present and I don’t wanna change that.

14 thoughts on “History, War and the Big IF” by kunle (@kunle)

  1. @ Kunle imagine if u didnt write this story?

    1. EXACTLY what I was about to ask.

  2. IF.

    Bottom line is…life is one big IF. I don’t bother about it any more. There’s no point.

  3. Nice one here…got me thinking big time.

    the present be different to(from) what it is?
    either ways(either…singular)
    have been shagging his wife (RIP) on June 12 and forget(forgot…tenses) to
    what’s with ***? What IF i don’t know?

    PS: facebook would have turned out beta if designed by an Igbo guy…or gal.

    1. @adaobiokwy – perhaps if Facebook was designed by an igbo guy , it wouldn’t have been free….lol. Kudos to my entrepreneurial igbo boys.

      @kunle – I really like your essay, the part about Napolean reminded me of a series programme I once watched by Rowan Atkinson , “Black Adder” , this assumption was in one of the episodes. However I felt this write-up would have been better if the various “IF” scenarios were itemized (in the form of bullet points) , for an essay like this , that style would have given it a nice flow.

      Overall well done.

      1. @aghoghosam, adding “lol” doesnt make it less insulting to “entrepreneurial” Igbo boys…and girls…lol
        Who would even blame us for wanting pay after a hard day’s job?

        1. @adaobiokwy – It was a joke , not offence intended :)

  4. Thank you Kunle. You got me thinking real deep again. I think @adaobi has pointed out some of the errors.

  5. Your last paragraph was the really “IT” for me…

    Very nice…I go through life believing there are no mistakes, everything is/was for an intended end.

    Real nice!!!

  6. Good thinking.

  7. @Kunle, you could have added more depth to this article; as it is, all you do is to keep on asking the same question – “what if?” several times over, with different scenarios.

    For what it’s worth, while the personal decisions that we take may affect our personal lives (and maybe the lives of a few others), I believe that there are very few people who have such an impact on the world that had they not been around, life would have been different.

    For example, even if Hitler had not been born, the conditions in Germany (widespread discontent and poverty) were ripe for any kind of dictator to take over and start a war (although maybe the dictator might not have been as crazy as Hitler).

  8. Your ending…Superb!!…I was loving it as i was reading it and i was thinking…”what if this writeup ends on a sour note”…Very Cool bro…very cool.

  9. Food for thought indeed. Thanks for sharing.

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