Baby Peperempe!

I love girls, girls… girls with bum, bum-bum bum-bum
But mi o le s’omo ti o fine
S’omo ti o fine…
The loud music boomed from Dotun’s car stereo as he sang along in his croaky voice. He was in a boisterous mood as he drove in his sleek Honda Bullet through the university campus. Everyone knew Dotun and wanted to be his friend or be laid by him because money reeked off him. He was not just a big boy with money; he also had the looks.
Men! Dotun fine die! He sure knew the power of his looks which he used to bring any girl down to his lair. The song he played in his car adequately described his person; Dotun was a Casanova hands down. He loved girls in different sizes; the ones with the full bosom that provided wonderful cushions and play things, the thin-legged ones that could stretch in any position, the yellow-pawpaws and the dudu-osun girls – all were to Dotun’s taste.
Dotun was on top of his game, he belonged to the right clique in school. He was the chief of Lasorites; one of the most influential clubs on campus. Although, he wasn’t a brilliant chap, he managed to pass his courses with fair grades. However, Dotun couldn’t stand one thing – rejection.
She was looking extra pretty today in pencil jeans and a blue body-hug top. Her face was made up like a doll’s and when Dotun came into the class, she rolled those big sexy eyes of hers at him. She always looked perfect as if she no dey mess.
“Hi Moni, you look mwaah today! I feel like eating you up,” Dotun said as he ran his eyes lustily all over her body.
“You’re so funny, Dotun,” Moni said looking at him demurely.
“But you know what you do to me now. Baby, come nest with Papa and I’ll treat you real good.”
“And Baby says she’s not interested,” Moni answered teasingly.
“Good morning everyone, where did we stop in the last class” Dr. Okoro said, as he entered the lecture room interrupting their conversation.
Dotun shuffled over to the seats in the back row. The front row was for the eficos and small children that liked to do I-too-know. He greeted his cronies as he settled down in his seat for another boring lecture from Dr Okoro as he droned on about demand curves and inflation in economies.
“He talked to me again today” Moni said excitedly to her friends.
“I told you he’s really into me,” She went on bluffing to them.
“Come on, stop that thing jare,” Sade said, fluttering her eyelashes.
“Dotun is into anything that has breasts and a hole under joo!” Bimpe added and they all burst into loud peals of laughter.
“I know all of you are just jealous but you’ll soon see that I’m going to be his first girlfriend on this campus,” Moni finished triumphantly.
Yes! Moni had a plan. She wanted to be the first girl that Dotun will date steadily. Dotun had never had a regular girlfriend as he only popped in for fun and dashed out when the sport became dry. So, Moni had decided that she was going to be different from the other girls.
Dotun was really astonished by Moni’s reaction. No girl in UCB had ever refused him. Moni had caught his attention recently because of her delectable looks. He had tasted every other girl in his class except Moni and the I-love-Jesus girls. So Dotun’s preying scent like a lion on a hunt was on high rampage. He suddenly had a quest to conquer. But he was totally confused on how to woo a girl successfully since he had always had them coming free and easy.
“Guy, I’m totally surprised by that babe in class o. You no see how she dey do shakara for me?” Dotun said to his close friend, Jide.
“You mean Moni se? The girl fine small sha,” Jide replied flippantly.
“Fine small ke? Se, you haven’t noticed those bad curves and that yummy chest she has?” Dotun quipped.
Jide smiled slowly as he looked at Dotun’s lusty-clouded eyes. Of course, they were partners in the game and he knew the fascination Dotun had for Moni was only heightened by her refusal to go out with him.
“Girls are all the same. Just spend some money on her and she’ll be yours,” Jide said.
“But I have tried that so many times. I even tried paying for her drink at the tuck shop yesterday but she refused and paid herself,” Dotun complained.
Jide shook his head in exasperation – “Oh boy! Nawa for you o! Do I have to start teaching you how to toast a babe now?”
“I guess I have to learn some new techniques o. ‘Cos that meat can never go free like that!” Dotun said winking naughtily at his friend.
“Should I wear this pink one or the red gown top?”Moni asked holding up the clothes to her friends.
“I like the red one better. It gives you that sassy look!” Sade said.
“Moni you promised to give me that pink one now, or have you forgotten?” Banke asked batting her eyelashes.
“Oh! I forgot I promised you that. Don’t worry Banke, I’ll give you some tops as soon as my Aunty in Italy sends those things.”
“Yipee! Moni oremi oremi! Thanks so much!”
“What about my Chanel perf and that Fendi bag? Abi it’s only Banke that’s your friend now?” Sade said hotly.
“Sade dearie, you know I love you too now. I have already told Aunty Bunmi to get me those from her trip to Paris.”
“Hmmm! Oremi Olowo! That’s why I love you!” Sade said, stifling Moni in a tight hug.
“Awwwh! Stop it Sade you’ll rumple my clothes,” Moni said giggling.
“How do I look?” Moni asked, after she had finished dressing up.
“You look take-away sweety. I’m sure Dotun is going to be all over you.” Sade said, winking.
“I hope so. ‘Cos I need to make a strong first impression.”
“You don’t need to try so hard baby, you really rock,” Banke added.
Moni strutted out of the room with the titillating aura of Dioressence breezing after her while her friends were still “oohing” and “aahhing” over her large collections of gucci, versace, chanel, armani and fendi.
“We always spend our holidays abroad – New York, London, Italy… You know it’s so much fun outside Nigeria. Their beaches are not praying grounds like the ones here. I went to Miami once and you should have seen the beach! It was so clean and I saw men and women skin-dipping out in the open…” Moni chattered on, playing with the Fried Rice and Chicken on her plate.
Her incessant chatter was getting on Dotun’s nerves and he wondered what its purpose was for. He was beginning to resent her arrogance. “What if her parents are affluent and they travel to other planets for holidays? Does she think I’m impressed by all that?” Dotun thought to himself.
“I just try to live a humble life on campus so people won’t think I’m proud, you know,” Moni continued.
This was their first date and Dotun was getting really tired of the formalities of the occasion. He was not used to all these preliminaries of small talk. Not that he minded taking Moni out and spending money on her but he didn’t expect the getting-to-know-each-other-thing to take up much of their time together.
“Why don’t we get some chicken and ice-cream as take-away packs, so we can leave,” Dotun said.
As they drove away from Tanties, Moni became very quiet in the car and Dotun wondered at the sudden change in her demeanour. But he didn’t pay much attention to her as he blared Da Grin’s Ponpon Ponpon on his car stereo.
When they got to his apartment, Moni looked around and was awed by its exquisite décor but she hid her fascination well and behaved normally. Dotun’s room was rugged from wall to wall, he had a LCD TV, Home theatre system, a medium-sized fridge and a seven-inches bed! It was the bed that captivated her attention the most. What did he need such a large bed for? An erotic scene played through her mind – Dotun with two girls on the bed having a threesome…
“Are you alright?”
“Oh! I’m O.K,” Moni smiled; embarrassed because Dotun had caught her in those lusty thoughts. She had stood still in the centre of the room as the erotic thoughts lulled in her mind. She looked at Dotun coyly as he beckoned to her to sit by him on the bed.
Moni sat stiffly at the edge of the bed; not saying a word. She shifted her eyes rapidly from one object to the other in the room. The silence was becoming awkward.
“Why are you so quiet? Am I making you uncomfortable?” Dotun said, as he pulled her softly towards him.
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” he said reassuringly.
Moni still sat quietly; not budging an inch.
Dotun became confused. “What kind of a girl is this? Why does she think I brought her here? Is she just shy or immature?” These thoughts ran though Dotun’s mind and being the impulsive randy young man he was, he decided to grab the bull by the horns.
“What are you doing? Please, stop touching me! I don’t like it!” Moni said, removing his arms from her waist.
But he persisted; moving his hands up and cupping her breasts in his palms. As he squeezed, Moni gave him a swift slap and flew off the bed.
“What do you take me for? Do you think I’m an ashi? You brought me to your place for the first time and look at how you’re grabbing me!” Moni shouted, her eyes blazing hot.
“Baby, it’s not like that now. O.k. I’m sorry. But you know that your body is just too killing. My hands just started moving without my authority,” Dotun said coaxingly.
He stood up and pulled her to him. She stiffened in the embrace unyieldingly.
“I want to leave now,” Moni said.
Dotun looked at her in surprise; “But I just apologised. I said I’m sorry. Baby…”
Moni just turned on her heel and headed for the door.
“You mean you left Dotun hot and hard just like that!” Sade said in amazement, as Moni gleefully gave her the details about her date with Dotun.
“Don’t you think you’re overdoing it? You know Dotun is a big boy and he can easily get other babes on campus o.” Sade said.
“Watch me, I’m gonna claim da prize!” She said in her fake American accent.
“Just play your game well sha. It’s not as if you’re Virgin Mary o,” Sade smirked.
The next day, Moni sulked throughout all the lectures because Dotun didn’t pay her any attention. He just walked past her as if she didn’t exist. She almost gave up her resolve; wanting to walk up to him and pacify him. But she inwardly convinced herself that he would come around and maybe her plan was just working fine.
“Why did you ignore Moni throughout the classes today?” Jide asked in a surprised tone.
“You should know better now; are you not a big boy? You should make her feel like the small girl and not the other way round.”
“I was just too angry with her. Who does she think she is? Refusing a whole Dutman!”
“The master of the game never gives up until he claims the trophy, remember?” Jide said, hooking Dotun’s fist in a coded handshake style.
“Are you thinking of any concrete plan?” Dotun said, looking at Jide in askance.
Jide swayed his head from side to side; twirling the beer bottle in his hands and a mischievous look slowly settled on his face;
“Trust me to always come up with a great idea now,” he said boastfully.
“I have a plan that would bring Moni crawling at your feet.”
“Really! What’s it?” Dotun asked eagerly.
Jide laughed at his look of eagerness.
“Next week is Val, right?” he said.
“Yes, I know. But what has the Valentine’s Day got to do with this?” Dotun asked.
“It is the perfect day for lovely surprises. I’ll give you the whole breakdown later.”
Dotun swigged the cold beer down his throat and belched loudly. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought; wondering what Jide had up his sleeves. Jide looked unperturbed as he took a long drag from his Malboro cigarette; letting out the smoke in small wisps through his nose….

27 thoughts on “Baby Peperempe!” by Ife Watson (@petunia007)

  1. hey nice attempt, would have more to say when i get to read the concluding part, cos it rily should have one.

    Also the transition from classroom back to hostel or wiaeva d girls wia dressing up is kinda mumbled up, try separating the paragraphs too, it makes for easy reading.

    1. @Teewah Actually, the swift transistion from one scene to another was intentional. I wanted the reader to get a sense of the present scene through the events described and I think it was successfully ‘cos you could identify the school, hostel and restaurant scenes. And I used block paragraphing. Thanks

      1. ehmmm okies if u say thats ur style!

  2. Yea..Nice story..Very typical by the way…Your descriptions are very Okay..but the transition like @teewah pointed out is rili weak..
    Ife perhaps you used a phone to post this because you actually comment on the paragraphs of works on NS..

    A good read for me..So I am waiting for the next part..Well done..

    1. Thanks @Bubbllinna. There are two kinds of paragraphing – block and indented. I used the former and I now realise people are not familiar with it. Actually, the swift transistion from one scene to another was intentional. I wanted the reader to get a sense of the present scene through the events described and I think it was successfully ‘cos you could identify the school, hostel and restaurant scenes.

      1. @ife watson: I was feeling the whole transition thing, and the effect you wanted it to have o. Maybe they should have been a little spaced out sha.

        I enjoyed the story. Thoroughly. Part II, please???!

  3. Yeah. I think @teewah‘s wasn’t clear when they shifted from the classroom into the hostel…then to the fast food and then to Dotun’s car.

    I think the transitions should be better defined. I think.

    Yeah..I really would like to know what Jide would come up with.

    But seriously – aren’t they a pair? The guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to women and the girl who’s ‘modest on campus so people won’t say she’s proud’. Indeedy. Why tell a dude all that – ON THE FIRST DATE?!?!

    And then…she coulda fooled me on that modest bit. I’m talking about her convos with her friends. Come on!

    Nice one, Ms. Watson.

    Sequel already!

    1. @Seun-Odukoya thanks I’m glad you liked the story. Actually, the swift transistion from one scene to another was intentional. I wanted the reader to get a sense of the present scene through the events described and I think it was successfully ‘cos you could identify the school, hostel and restaurant scenes.

  4. Nice story, but a few typos here and there that you have to look out for next time.
    Then the lyrics of the song you used to open the story should either be in quotations or in italics to differentiate it from the voice of the story naration

    1. @abbey, thanks I’m glad you liked the story. The song part was in italics when I posted it but I guess the formating got lost ‘cos I navigated the page through my phone. It would have been nice if you pointed out some of the ‘typos’.

  5. Nice one, proff.

  6. What’s the meaning of the title?

    1. Ashually – ‘peperempe’ is a Yoruba word that describes girls/women like ‘Moni’; flirty, sassy, forward, immodest and so on.

      The title is apt for me (I know that’s not what you were saying @kaycee). It totally works!

  7. All moni’s gucci, dolce and stuff, I believe all na ‘zobo’ o. She’s not just proud, she reeks of it and I think she’s met her match in Dotun. Perhaps, I’m wrong but only time will tell. A good one though and I hope there’s a concluding part soon to be published here.

  8. Interesting…others have spoken on the transition, so won’t comment. The scene with the girlfriends felt unreal and I must confess I thought it was a guy that was writing this piece. So I expect the next sequel to be better and more fascinating…Kudos

  9. Ife….Ife…Ife…émèlo ní mó pé é?WELL DONE! It takes brilliant mind to read through your story nd come to grasp with it flow.—I DIDNT SEE ANY DIFFICULTY IN D SCENES TRANSITIONS.I KNEW WHERE U WERE @ EACH POINT.U RE D PROF LIKE OGA KAYCEE RIGHLY STATES ABOVE!

  10. Cool story. I ditto others on the paragraph stuff and scene shift stuff.

  11. Nice story here. Next part.

  12. @queenzayta, I’m glad you liked the story, @enoquin unreal? What do girls talk about most when they are together? Is it not mostly fashion, boy issues, etc guess you had an idea in mind anyway, @sambright thanks I guess people are used to ‘proper’ ways of telling stories but there are so many other ways – don’t mean to sound haughty ‘cos I respect everyone’s input on NS. However, there are several literary styles to choose from – (won’t mention ‘cos I don’t want to bore anyone with bookish things), @gooseberry, @eletrika – I’m glad you enjoyed reading the story.

    1. @Ife Watson, I like the idea behind this story…nice one.

      However, transitions no matter how intentional must be defined like @Seun-Odukoya noted. We all have read many works to know many kinds of transition and the first thing I had an issue with in this work was the paragraphing. Should have been easy on the eyes…Honestly, picture doing a critique on a work that storms your brain.

      Again, I really take issues with your ‘is it not mainly fashion, boy issues, etc’ that girls talk about when they are together? I strongly disagree…I don’t do those talks for one except when I create xters or when they’re strictly necessary and the girls in my circle would feel insulted by that…just saying.
      I know many guys who talk football/women/and even fashion more than women!

      Not to take anything from this…I like the story…

      1. @adaobiokwy, thanks I’m glad you liked the story. I agree with your issues on girls conversation stereotypes. But in reality, putting other opinionated ideas aside; stereotypes do exist. So you and I may not actually discuss boys and fashion with our friends but I know a lot of others who do.
        About the transition style thing – I was only try to make the point that fiction writing is not mathematics and there is no strict fornula to style. If you have read works by Toni Morrison, Dambudzo Marachera, Ben Okri, Ayi Kwei Armah, etc you would agree with me that sequence, chronology order or transistion is a matter of creative or individual style.

  13. Cool piece Ife. Frankly I’m not used to this kind of style. Yes you left clues as to the scenes but I’m confused as to who your main character is, maybe you will clear that out in the next part.
    Well done!

    1. @ablyguy, I’m glad you liked the story. There should be no confusion as to who the main characters are – you can have more than one main character. So in the story Moni and Dotun are the main characters acting like a kind of protagonist and antagonist thing.

  14. Ok ma’am. Give us the next instalment. As for this, dey don talk am finish! Though, if I may add, some of the descriptions could be tighter:
    “…along in his croaky voice(?). He was in a boisterous mood(?) as he drove in his sleek Honda Bullet through the university campus. Everyone knew Dotun and wanted to be his friend or be laid by him because money reeked (?)off him. He was not just a big boy with money; he also had the looks.”
    My thoughts, Ife.

  15. Interesting story, @petunia007. I guess you could say that game that Dotun and Moni are playing is an exaggerated version of what goes on when a guy and girl meet.

    Others have spoken about the transitions, so I’ve nothing to add there. I did find the introduction of Moni in the story confusing, though.

    Watch out for

    “erotic thoughts lulled rolled around or played about (I don’t think that lull is intransitive) in her mind”

    “Dotun’s lusty lust-clouded eyes”

    I’ll be on the lookout for the next part.

  16. thanks @Tola Odejayi, I always wait eagerly for your insightful comments.
    You’re right ‘lulled’ is a transitive verb. However, the prepostional phrase ‘in her mind’ served as the completive for the transfered action from verb to complement (object).
    I actually thought I used ‘lust-clouded’, thanks for the sharp eyes.
    I just hope I can come up with the next part soon enough ‘cos a lot of things are competiting for my attention.

  17. Your descriptions were on point, and the way you inserted the music lyrics and the conversational voice of the writing, they all made it seem like I was there. Nice writing.

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