I love girls, girls… girls with bum, bum-bum bum-bum
But mi o le s’omo ti o fine
S’omo ti o fine…
The loud music boomed from Dotun’s car stereo as he sang along in his croaky voice. He was in a boisterous mood as he drove in his sleek Honda Bullet through the university campus. Everyone knew Dotun and wanted to be his friend or be laid by him because money reeked off him. He was not just a big boy with money; he also had the looks.
Men! Dotun fine die! He sure knew the power of his looks which he used to bring any girl down to his lair. The song he played in his car adequately described his person; Dotun was a Casanova hands down. He loved girls in different sizes; the ones with the full bosom that provided wonderful cushions and play things, the thin-legged ones that could stretch in any position, the yellow-pawpaws and the dudu-osun girls – all were to Dotun’s taste.
Dotun was on top of his game, he belonged to the right clique in school. He was the chief of Lasorites; one of the most influential clubs on campus. Although, he wasn’t a brilliant chap, he managed to pass his courses with fair grades. However, Dotun couldn’t stand one thing – rejection.
She was looking extra pretty today in pencil jeans and a blue body-hug top. Her face was made up like a doll’s and when Dotun came into the class, she rolled those big sexy eyes of hers at him. She always looked perfect as if she no dey mess.
“Hi Moni, you look mwaah today! I feel like eating you up,” Dotun said as he ran his eyes lustily all over her body.
“You’re so funny, Dotun,” Moni said looking at him demurely.
“But you know what you do to me now. Baby, come nest with Papa and I’ll treat you real good.”
“And Baby says she’s not interested,” Moni answered teasingly.
“Good morning everyone, where did we stop in the last class” Dr. Okoro said, as he entered the lecture room interrupting their conversation.
Dotun shuffled over to the seats in the back row. The front row was for the eficos and small children that liked to do I-too-know. He greeted his cronies as he settled down in his seat for another boring lecture from Dr Okoro as he droned on about demand curves and inflation in economies.
“He talked to me again today” Moni said excitedly to her friends.
“I told you he’s really into me,” She went on bluffing to them.
“Come on, stop that thing jare,” Sade said, fluttering her eyelashes.
“Dotun is into anything that has breasts and a hole under joo!” Bimpe added and they all burst into loud peals of laughter.
“I know all of you are just jealous but you’ll soon see that I’m going to be his first girlfriend on this campus,” Moni finished triumphantly.
Yes! Moni had a plan. She wanted to be the first girl that Dotun will date steadily. Dotun had never had a regular girlfriend as he only popped in for fun and dashed out when the sport became dry. So, Moni had decided that she was going to be different from the other girls.
Dotun was really astonished by Moni’s reaction. No girl in UCB had ever refused him. Moni had caught his attention recently because of her delectable looks. He had tasted every other girl in his class except Moni and the I-love-Jesus girls. So Dotun’s preying scent like a lion on a hunt was on high rampage. He suddenly had a quest to conquer. But he was totally confused on how to woo a girl successfully since he had always had them coming free and easy.
“Guy, I’m totally surprised by that babe in class o. You no see how she dey do shakara for me?” Dotun said to his close friend, Jide.
“You mean Moni se? The girl fine small sha,” Jide replied flippantly.
“Fine small ke? Se, you haven’t noticed those bad curves and that yummy chest she has?” Dotun quipped.
Jide smiled slowly as he looked at Dotun’s lusty-clouded eyes. Of course, they were partners in the game and he knew the fascination Dotun had for Moni was only heightened by her refusal to go out with him.
“Girls are all the same. Just spend some money on her and she’ll be yours,” Jide said.
“But I have tried that so many times. I even tried paying for her drink at the tuck shop yesterday but she refused and paid herself,” Dotun complained.
Jide shook his head in exasperation – “Oh boy! Nawa for you o! Do I have to start teaching you how to toast a babe now?”
“I guess I have to learn some new techniques o. ‘Cos that meat can never go free like that!” Dotun said winking naughtily at his friend.
“Should I wear this pink one or the red gown top?”Moni asked holding up the clothes to her friends.
“I like the red one better. It gives you that sassy look!” Sade said.
“Moni you promised to give me that pink one now, or have you forgotten?” Banke asked batting her eyelashes.
“Oh! I forgot I promised you that. Don’t worry Banke, I’ll give you some tops as soon as my Aunty in Italy sends those things.”
“Yipee! Moni oremi oremi! Thanks so much!”
“What about my Chanel perf and that Fendi bag? Abi it’s only Banke that’s your friend now?” Sade said hotly.
“Sade dearie, you know I love you too now. I have already told Aunty Bunmi to get me those from her trip to Paris.”
“Hmmm! Oremi Olowo! That’s why I love you!” Sade said, stifling Moni in a tight hug.
“Awwwh! Stop it Sade you’ll rumple my clothes,” Moni said giggling.
“How do I look?” Moni asked, after she had finished dressing up.
“You look take-away sweety. I’m sure Dotun is going to be all over you.” Sade said, winking.
“I hope so. ‘Cos I need to make a strong first impression.”
“You don’t need to try so hard baby, you really rock,” Banke added.
Moni strutted out of the room with the titillating aura of Dioressence breezing after her while her friends were still “oohing” and “aahhing” over her large collections of gucci, versace, chanel, armani and fendi.
“We always spend our holidays abroad – New York, London, Italy… You know it’s so much fun outside Nigeria. Their beaches are not praying grounds like the ones here. I went to Miami once and you should have seen the beach! It was so clean and I saw men and women skin-dipping out in the open…” Moni chattered on, playing with the Fried Rice and Chicken on her plate.
Her incessant chatter was getting on Dotun’s nerves and he wondered what its purpose was for. He was beginning to resent her arrogance. “What if her parents are affluent and they travel to other planets for holidays? Does she think I’m impressed by all that?” Dotun thought to himself.
“I just try to live a humble life on campus so people won’t think I’m proud, you know,” Moni continued.
This was their first date and Dotun was getting really tired of the formalities of the occasion. He was not used to all these preliminaries of small talk. Not that he minded taking Moni out and spending money on her but he didn’t expect the getting-to-know-each-other-thing to take up much of their time together.
“Why don’t we get some chicken and ice-cream as take-away packs, so we can leave,” Dotun said.
As they drove away from Tanties, Moni became very quiet in the car and Dotun wondered at the sudden change in her demeanour. But he didn’t pay much attention to her as he blared Da Grin’s Ponpon Ponpon on his car stereo.
When they got to his apartment, Moni looked around and was awed by its exquisite décor but she hid her fascination well and behaved normally. Dotun’s room was rugged from wall to wall, he had a LCD TV, Home theatre system, a medium-sized fridge and a seven-inches bed! It was the bed that captivated her attention the most. What did he need such a large bed for? An erotic scene played through her mind – Dotun with two girls on the bed having a threesome…
“Are you alright?”
“Oh! I’m O.K,” Moni smiled; embarrassed because Dotun had caught her in those lusty thoughts. She had stood still in the centre of the room as the erotic thoughts lulled in her mind. She looked at Dotun coyly as he beckoned to her to sit by him on the bed.
Moni sat stiffly at the edge of the bed; not saying a word. She shifted her eyes rapidly from one object to the other in the room. The silence was becoming awkward.
“Why are you so quiet? Am I making you uncomfortable?” Dotun said, as he pulled her softly towards him.
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” he said reassuringly.
Moni still sat quietly; not budging an inch.
Dotun became confused. “What kind of a girl is this? Why does she think I brought her here? Is she just shy or immature?” These thoughts ran though Dotun’s mind and being the impulsive randy young man he was, he decided to grab the bull by the horns.
“What are you doing? Please, stop touching me! I don’t like it!” Moni said, removing his arms from her waist.
But he persisted; moving his hands up and cupping her breasts in his palms. As he squeezed, Moni gave him a swift slap and flew off the bed.
“What do you take me for? Do you think I’m an ashi? You brought me to your place for the first time and look at how you’re grabbing me!” Moni shouted, her eyes blazing hot.
“Baby, it’s not like that now. O.k. I’m sorry. But you know that your body is just too killing. My hands just started moving without my authority,” Dotun said coaxingly.
He stood up and pulled her to him. She stiffened in the embrace unyieldingly.
“I want to leave now,” Moni said.
Dotun looked at her in surprise; “But I just apologised. I said I’m sorry. Baby…”
Moni just turned on her heel and headed for the door.
“You mean you left Dotun hot and hard just like that!” Sade said in amazement, as Moni gleefully gave her the details about her date with Dotun.
“Don’t you think you’re overdoing it? You know Dotun is a big boy and he can easily get other babes on campus o.” Sade said.
“Watch me, I’m gonna claim da prize!” She said in her fake American accent.
“Just play your game well sha. It’s not as if you’re Virgin Mary o,” Sade smirked.
The next day, Moni sulked throughout all the lectures because Dotun didn’t pay her any attention. He just walked past her as if she didn’t exist. She almost gave up her resolve; wanting to walk up to him and pacify him. But she inwardly convinced herself that he would come around and maybe her plan was just working fine.
“Why did you ignore Moni throughout the classes today?” Jide asked in a surprised tone.
“You should know better now; are you not a big boy? You should make her feel like the small girl and not the other way round.”
“I was just too angry with her. Who does she think she is? Refusing a whole Dutman!”
“The master of the game never gives up until he claims the trophy, remember?” Jide said, hooking Dotun’s fist in a coded handshake style.
“Are you thinking of any concrete plan?” Dotun said, looking at Jide in askance.
Jide swayed his head from side to side; twirling the beer bottle in his hands and a mischievous look slowly settled on his face;
“Trust me to always come up with a great idea now,” he said boastfully.
“I have a plan that would bring Moni crawling at your feet.”
“Really! What’s it?” Dotun asked eagerly.
Jide laughed at his look of eagerness.
“Next week is Val, right?” he said.
“Yes, I know. But what has the Valentine’s Day got to do with this?” Dotun asked.
“It is the perfect day for lovely surprises. I’ll give you the whole breakdown later.”
Dotun swigged the cold beer down his throat and belched loudly. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought; wondering what Jide had up his sleeves. Jide looked unperturbed as he took a long drag from his Malboro cigarette; letting out the smoke in small wisps through his nose….
I love girls, girls… girls with bum, bum-bum bum-bum