“Ahhhhchooo!…” “Sorry Sir” “thank you madam…”
Chief Onazi said wiping the dirt in his nose with an handkerchief.
“So, like I was saying madam, there is no need begging this issue; my proposition is yours to accept or reject! Life is all about give and take you know; you use what you have to get what you want!”
“Chief abeg, have mercy on me; I know you can do this without…”

Chief Onazi cuts her… “So, madam, see me when you are ready to do my bidding…”
Chief dropped walking towards the upper terrace of the massive duplex. Mrs Ilori finally left her kneeling position, and went home in tears. What an unfair world; the rich covet the life of the poor…

Later that night…
Mrs Ilori was sitting on one of the worn-out chairs that had adorned their living room for a decade plus; weighed down apparently, she was deeply in thought over Chief Onazi’s bait. She was lost in it that she did not even notice her son entered the house…
“Iya e…” Bodunde said jokingly. He was shocked to discover his mother didn’t even notice his presence. With an anger of concern he tapped…
“Iya Bodunde, kilode, what are you thinking about? You did not even noticed my arrival. I’ve told you I don’t like seeing you in this mood…”
Bodunde was so angry that he didn’t notice his mother crying until she sobs…
“Iya Bodunde, why are you crying?” now sitting beside his mother, Bodunde curdled her.
“Bodunde, I wish all of this would end so soon. Life has not been friendly to me at all. I mean since your father’s death, things has not been easy at all. I was at Chief Onazi’s place today to seek for help…”
“you mean my dad’s business partner?” “Yes. I couldn’t believe my ears when he made a proposition to me…” Mrs Ilori started sounding quite emotional.
“You mean he’s attaching a condition to the help he’ll offer? What has this world turned to; okay, what kind of proposition?” Bodunde was noticeably angry in his conversation…
“hmm… my son, let’s forget about that and concentrate on what we have at hand. How’s your project, and preparation for your final papers?”
“My exams are still 2 months plus from now; as for my project, I’m through with everything except typing, printing and binding…”
“What about your friends that borrowed you money for school fee, hope they are not troubling you already?” Mrs Ilori asked. “ha… they are o. that’s why I even came, but I think they’ll still have to wait. It’s just that everybody needs money, but never mind. I’ll go back to school tomorrow morning, and hope a miracle will happen”
Bodunde pats her mother on the back, and headed towards his room. The house was unusually calm that night. Hmm… one wishes life could be a little bit fair.

The following day at Chief Onazi’s house…
Mrs Ilori was busy feeding on the new art works that graced the living room when Chief appeared…
“Oh… Mrs Ilori, so you are the one looking for me…” Mrs Ilori did not allow Chief finish his statement before she cuts him…
“Chief, I’ve agreed to your proposal. I need the money so badly, my son is…” “Madam, save me that. Let’s meet in my office tomorrow, and we’ll set at it from there.” “What about your wife sir?” “never mind. She is still at the hospital. Just go home; we’ll see tomorrow…”
Chief Onazi called for one of his maids, while Mrs Ilori closed the door behind her.

Two weeks later…

Mrs Ilori waited curiously in the car, thinking why it took Chief Onazi so long to come out of the banking hall. The anxiety on her face was just about taking a new turn when Chief emerged from the security door. She manage to smile as the security man bided Chief bye with a salute. Few seconds later, Onazi was in the car…
“So, this is it…” he hands over a bag to her… “you have a million naira in there. Now that I’ve fulfilled my own part of the whole thing, I guess we can move on?” Mrs Ilori nodded yes as Chief ignited the car and drove out of the bank premises.

Later in the evening…

Mrs Ilori was inside the kitchen preparing something. She was expecting Bodunde as she’s called him after leaving the bank in the afternoon. She was almost done when she heard her phone ring. She picked the call, and was shell-shocked at what she heard. The caller told her to report at the hospital immediately, as Bodunde lays hopeless at the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital…
“I just spoke with him this afternoon…” Mrs Ilori said as she scrambled for her head gear and dashed out of the house.

At the hospital…
Mrs Ilori was running out of patience; she’s been in the doctor’s office for 20 minutes. She was about standing up from her seat when the doctor came in…
“Yes… Mrs Ilori I guess?”
“Yes Sir. Doctor, how’s my son? What exactly happened?”
Doctor drew his swivel chair closer, and sat at the edge of the table…
“Madam, I’ll advice you calm down, and listen to me. Your son was caught in a shoot-out between a group of armed robbers and the police; he had 8 bullets in his body spread across his thigh and both arms, with the right side of his belly…”
“yeeeee…” Mrs Ilori screamed.
“Madam, calm down. As I was saying, we’ve managed to remove 7 bullets, remaining the one in his belly. But as it is right now, he’s lost too much blood and we can’t remove the last bullet until we replace the blood he’s lost else we lose him…” After some few more minutes of discussion, Mrs Ilori was led into the Lab to donate blood for her son. The NPF had agreed to foot Bodunde’s hospital bill.

5 hours later… 

Two doctors were busy shouting at each other… unknowing to them, Mrs Ilori was never in the position to donate blood as she’s just recovering from a kidney transfer operation. She passed out few minutes after donating the blood, and she’s joined her son at the ICU.
“You had better pray she’ll not die from this. Your career is on the line you know…” Bodunde’s doctor slammed the door on Mrs Ilori’s doctor.

2 weeks ago, Mrs Ilori had sold one of her kidney to Chief Onazi, whose wife needed a kidney transplant to stay alive. She had intended using the proceeds to offset Bodunde’s immediate and future bills. Bodunde is her only child, and she couldn’t stand watch him suffer the fate of a bleak future.

2 weeks later…

Mrs Ilori was sitting beside Bodunde’s bed in his ward room, while the two doctors stood aside watching. She clutched to Bodunde’s palm weeping; she was at this when one of the doctors broke the mood…
“Madam, you don’t need this. Let’s just thank God we have your son, and even you yourself. I mean, that’s a miraculous fit we should all relish…”
Mrs Ilori signalled the two doctors not to tell Bodunde her story.
“Anyway, Madam, we should discharge your son in the next three weeks…”
Bodunde’s doctor patted Mrs Ilori on the back as both doctors left the room.

The End.

What a blessing, God giving us all mothers; epitome of sacrifice. Mma is an Ibibio word for mother; I fell in love with the word during my Youth Service in Akwa-Ibom. I dedicate this story to my mother, who’s celebrating her birthday today. She’s lived all her life for me. Even when nobody’s willing to accept anything good can come out of me, she’s solidly stood by my dream. Many loved me for the brilliance they’ve seen, she did even when there’s no brilliance on display. Today is my own World Mother’s Day for she came on this day. While I celebrate her, I equally celebrate and dedicate this story as well to all women of virtue out there. Your reward starts from here on earth. D.J! Play me ASA: E bami kira fun mama mi, orisa bi Iya o, kosi laye nbi; oya, lalalalalalaaala… I love you mum.

With Love,
Alamu Samson.

9 thoughts on “Mma” by alamusamson (@alamusamson)

  1. very nice story. i did not expect the twist but i must say the writing is not professional. i did not see the need for the sub-headings (like it was an essay) and there were few grammatical blunders. well done and keep on writing.

  2. A good attempt. But the story seems clumsy to me in several parts –
    *The coversation in the first line is crowded and one doesn’t easily understand who is saying what -“Ahhhhchooo!…” “Sorry Sir” “thank you madam…” it would have looked better if you had it on separate lines.
    *Chief Onazi *cuts her… “So, madam,…” (Cuts her off) ‘cos leaving it hanging could infer other meanings.
    *Chief *dropped walking towards the upper terrace… (Dropped what? The conversation?)
    *Bodunde pats *her mother on the back… (His)
    *“Madam, I’ll *advice you calm down, (advise), etc
    Then, the issue of Mrs Ilori selling her kidney and losing blood is not medically correct. There is no direct link btw organ removal and anemia. She could have been *anemic from other causes such as poor diet ‘cos of their low income, etc
    Keep writing

  3. “curdled” should actually be ‘cuddled’

    Nice story…but you need more training. Fortunately…there’s no better place than here to learn. Welcome home.

  4. Welcome to NS. I understand that this could be your first draft as you work on your story. However, those transitions (5hrs later, two weeks later) you used are only necessary in drama or movie scripts. When writing prose, you work out a way to embed them in your story. Also attend to punctuation and other writing guidelines. All the best.

  5. At least you wrote something. The few errors would be eliminated by proof reading.
    Its you mumsy’s birthday so I’m being sentimental. But I would like to read your next post.

    We don’t have DJ here O
    Welcome to NS

  6. @alamusamson, I liked the kidney twist – it saved the story from being too cliched. But it would be better to weave the story of the donation into the story, rather than having to tell us (for example, you can show this in her thoughts).

    The ending was kind of anti-climactic for me. No sigh of relief, no ‘Thank God’ from Mrs. Ilori on being told that her son was going to get better?

  7. Enough has been said already.Just keep writing and keep improving.

    Well done!!!

  8. I agree with @Lawal Opeyemi Isaac, ’nuff said!
    Great twist anyway!

  9. Training… U need it.

Leave a Reply