Amorous Bait

The court room was filled to the brim. The seats in the court room seem to be gasping for breadth, as they provided a platform for the multitude of butts that rested on them. The 5 ceiling fans in the court that had seen better days were creaking. They spun around in full acceleration hoping to ameliorate the tense situation in the court room but it was obvious that they only added more misery to the situation.
Both the prosecution and defense counsels had their wigs off, and the judge had to acquiesce to their plea to pull off their gowns. The judge himself was sweating profusely as he exhausted rolls of tissue papers that did little to dab the torrents of water that was rolling down as sweat from his broad face.
The situation outside the court room was also a spectacle to behold as court guards and security personnel’s struggled to keep the crowd in check as they struggled to keep the crowd in check. The crowd surged as every one of them wished to get into the court room. It was not surprising that the court was in this state on this day. As a matter of fact the serene town of Ayedun has not been the same since the events of the last 3 weeks happened.
Suddenly, silence engulfed the whole atmosphere as the Judge began to read his judgment. If a needle had dropped the sound could have been heard as the Judge’s shrill voice read out the judgment.
“Having heard the arguments of the prosecution and defense counsels, and after careful consultations with the laws and statutes of our country, I find you Lakunle Abata of Number 3 TikaTore Street guilty as charged. You are hereby sentenced to death by hanging for the …..”
“Order! Order! Order!” the judge screamed as he banged his gavel continuously until the instrument broke. His high pitched voice was completely lost in the bedlam that followed as the court broke into 2 competing factions between those who were crying and those who were jubilating. It seemed as those crying thought the more they cried, the judge might be forced to reverse his judgment while those jubilating seem sure that the more they jubilated the judge would be convinced he has done justice.
* * *
Laleye and Lakunle had been close childhood friends. They had grown up together and attended the same schools right up to the university. In fact they stayed in the same room from their 1st year through sophomore, penultimate and final year in the university. They seem inseparable. Lakunle was the quintessential gentleman. He and his friend Laleye were role models often sighted by parents to their growing up kids.
Laleye was Lakunle’s best man when he got married to Oreoluwa the beautiful Harvard trained daughter of Chief Buruji, an influential timber merchant in Ayedun. The wedding was all pomp and pageantry as it left most people particularly the people of Ayedun talking about it for a very long time after the wedding. It was not long after the wedding that stories and news began to filter into Lakunle’s ears about his wife’s infidelity. This he discountenanced at first, but when his neighbors continued to inundate him with how his wife brings different men to their matrimonial home he started to worry.
On this particular day, he had been instructed by his boss to go and make the delivery of 8 dozens of new machetes which his firm procured from the famous UTC stores in the capital city, to the Ayedun Timber Co-operative Society [ATCS], before coming to the office. He had bid his wife, bye and promised her that he will be back immediately he closes from work at 5pm. So that they could go and watch the premiere of a new play at the town hall. But surprisingly on getting to ATCS he discovered he had left his invoice at home. He quickly dashed back home to get the invoice.
On getting home, he was a little bit taken aback that the front door was not locked. “I thought I had always told her to keep the door locked” he muttered to himself.
“Ore dear”! he called out
“Darling” he shouted again, still there was no response.
He moved into the bedroom and opened the door and lo and behold there was his wife completely naked with legs and arms wrapped around Laleye his best friend who was also completely naked making love to his wife on his matrimonial bed. As he groveled on top of her she was screaming obscenities. Shaking and almost convulsing, Lakunle ran out still unnoticed by the duo. He opened the boot of his car and brought out one of the machetes and ran into the bedroom and the “lovers” were still engrossed. He screamed and they quickly disentangled. Laleye was shocked, before he could comprehend what was happening Lakunle dealt him several machete blows, and the white bed spread soon turned red all over. He continued to deal his friend several machete blows with blood splattering everywhere until Laleye became silent. Ore was screaming and crying; he took a look at her with disdain all over his face and struck a machete blow on her neck. Her head came rolling over towards his feet.

5 thoughts on “Amorous Bait” by babsiwalewa (@babsiwalewa)

  1. Too abrupt. It felt as though you were so inspired you couldn’t wait to put the story down. YOu did not even edit after you wrote it.

    It’s nice..but the writing is…

  2. Bubbllinna (@sibbylwhyte)

    Haha..Jungle Justice..Or is it Lakunle’s Justice?..The story was nice..maybe twas inspired by a real one.

  3. A nice storyline. Though I feel you could have done more with it. I agree with Seun that you seemed in a hurry to tell the story. This showed in the structure of your sentences – most of your sentences are very long, in smaller parts it will read better.
    I noticed some errors:
    “The seats in the court room *seem to be” (seemed) this tense confusion ocurred many times in your story where you used ‘seem’ instead of ‘seemed’
    “security *personnel’s struggled to keep the crowd in check *as they struggled to keep the crowd in check.” ((personnel) (Repetition)
    “the serene town of Ayedun *has not been the same since the events of the last 3 weeks happened.” (had) tense confusion.
    “he *groveled on top of her she was screaming obscenities” (groveled? Wrong choice of word. ‘Grovel’ means to shake in fear or submission), etc
    Keep writing. Well done!

  4. The story was as expected. No suprises.

    It is natural that i would kill any idiot that i catch with my wife.

    but i like the court gist. It was well written

  5. I wish you had spent as much time on the main story as you spent with the court section, @babsiwalewa. It felt too rushed and compressed, and left too many questions unanswered. For example, why did Ore cheat on her husband?

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