Siju finally said yes to me two years after I first delivered my lines of interest. In her words, she’s seen the seriousness in me enough to grant me a chance. Whether her consent is driven by true love or she’s simply giving in to the pressure of time is what I can’t say for sure; understandable in a society where a lady’s shakara only goes as far as time allows her singledom. While my affection for her is unquestionable, I won’t say I’ve been single in the two years of waiting. Good guys are scarce but from my experience, so are good girls. She’s obviously tried her hands on other guys and had her heart broken so maybe I’m only a last resort as some have pointed out. On the other hand, I beg to disagree given her beauty within and without.
Right now ma, I crave for a home. I feel a yearning to settle down. For once too, I can best say I’m after something for the sake of my family, my home. For once, she’s bought into my adventurous pursuits of dream-chasing saying she’ll sustain the family on her more formal career path until the heaven smiles on mine. I reckon I pitch my tent with her. After all, what’s the use of keeping multiple partners? I’m all grown up now and the reality of my pocket is enough to force me to this corner. Even my yearning for a Northern damsel seems to have given way with Hajara refusing to pick my calls. The last we spoke, she hinted at her tiredness of listening to my stories saying I should tell it to the folks on naijastories. That was enough evidence that even the tongue loses its sweetness over time.
Career wise, I’m in an ecosystem that best represents the meeting point between my long held dreams and its realization. Yet, it goes beyond that ma. Life here spells a departure from the life I’d known in my sojourn up North: devoid of cheap motels, treats, and flesh. It’s a blessing of some sort and a reminder that even old habits can die young if one finds himself in the right environment. The prayer though is that fortune smiles on me. I crave for a life devoid of shady business partners and clientele. Surreal as it sounds, I still pray that my new path is one that witnesses less of the hallmarks of my past pursuits.
Only recently, I heard how much we become of ourselves as we grow older. Evidence of that I heard lies within our bloodline. In that vein, mom says dad also went through some sort of hiatus while he was my age. And I wonder, was grandpa anything like that too? Now, I fear I’m towing that path given the years I’ve been on this journey crisscrossing the sub-regions in the name of my entrepreneurial pursuits yet still find me dependent on lifelines. Mom’s since given up on her complaints after they only met with the same clichéd response that my journey’s purpose is to seek that which her daughter-in-law and long expected grandchild will feed on tomorrow. As adventurous as it sounds for many watchers, the reality is a world that sees me waking up in cold showers at night. Hanging debts remain with debtors oblivious to my condition. Yet, what’s a brother to do but to keep going with his conviction?
Sometimes, I wake up hoping and praying to find myself in a better world as long as it’s neither heaven nor hell. Rather, an earthly world of bliss and fewer struggles; a world where my ideas are bought into and exchange for money. I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to face reality until it dawns on me how much work there is to be done. The street is cold and hot both at the same time. Thus, the saying that the street is not smiling holds true. Obviously, you know I’m not one for 9 to 5s hence my present pursuits. I need not bore you with tales about this society, the most of which you’d seen its good and sad times.
The inspiration for this piece itself came from having your picture with Baba up on my Blackberry messenger profile. Remember that picture from August 14, 1946? Lol…how could you not remember your wedding anniversary? That’s the inspiration for me and Siju as we work through what I like to call my 7 point agenda towards our marital goal. Just so you know, all the points have everything to do with finance, approval from her family and yet more finance. Anyways, I can only imagine how blissful the country was back then in the forties. Surely, a stark contrast from what you beheld until your passing in 2008. Well, I’ve accepted my world as I know it but in a bid to do my best to change what I can, I feel overwhelmed sometimes.
I’ve since taken my writing skills to the public for its verdict. In fact, the first part to this piece (http://www.naijastories.com/2011/05/postcards-to-grandma%E2%80%A6gossips-from-the-hood/) was up on naijastories for the world to critique and it sure did come. Yeah, a part of me hopes to make something of these interest and skill even though it remains a work in progress. Making a living from doing what one loves is no longer a secret to living a fulfilling life yet, it doesn’t come easy with delayed financial gratification. The hope is that I can make something out of this but it too is in phases as I try to work along the lines of honing my skills before taking the deep plunge into publishing a book. There was a time when I’d do this for fun and I still do but the reality of Siju’s consent coupled with my frustration at financial dependence means something has to give.
Have to face the day now mama.
Regards. Love always. Your favourite grandson.