“You should have seen Joan Rivers insult Jennifer Hudson’s outfit on her show yesterday” The plump one began interrupting her cousin and immediately sipped from her smoothie.
“Joan is so not cool, she keeps wearing either gold, brown or black shiny jackets, doesn’t any other cloth fit her” the last of the group pointed out.
“That is so not true, Joan Rivers is the funniest and my favorite fashion icon on TV.” The cousin defended.
With a laugh, the last girl spoke again “Icon? it seems you have to look up the meaning of ‘icon’, on maybe like the internet” emphasizing on the last words.
“Oh no, She didn’t” the cousin rolled her eyes and raised her fist at her but was stopped by her cousin’s intervention.
“Hey, stop it, you guys are always quarrelling. Would you two ever get along?” shouted the plump one rising to her feet.
“She started it” wimped the two simultaneously.
“Whatever I forgive you” redhead tried to apologize
Clapping her hands and stamping her feet in mockery, she finally speaks, “This is the reason I hate you. Stop coming at me with your Christianity crap. Kim, abeg, tell you fake redheaded friend.” Cousin ended pissed
“I’m sure you were adopted, ‘cause you look and act nothing like your cousin.”
“I pray you rot in hell”
“Oh, now you pray, I thought you didn’t believe in it”
“STOP” Kim Shouted
Pretending not to hear her cousin, she continued
“I hope Rihanna hates you when she meets you.”
“Oh, you admit it; you believe I’d meet Rihanna someday”
Short of words for a second, Kim’s cousin continued
“Whatever, stop with the oh’s, it’s so last session.”
“Stop” Kim Shouted again
Biola, the cousin to Kim opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ding of the bell, the time for break just elapsed.
“Honey, you were saved by the bell” Biola said as she marches toward their left, while Cynthia went the opposite direction leaving Kim. Seconds later, Biola walked back to where they all were few seconds ago, Kim was already leaving, Biola murmured something like ‘this is the way to my class’. Kim just shook her head and off to class she went.
This is so terrible. Please delete.
Everything is wrong with it.
I don’t understand.
What is this supposed to do? What is it?
Comedy? Horror? Thriller? Short Story? Action?
And the characters…coincidence..or were you referencing the Kardashians…?
I am lost.
It looks like you wanted to portray the quarrelsome nature of the girls, but what would have been more interesting is you showing us the characters of the girls and why they didn’t like each other; I don’t think you really defined their characters that well.
Ditto. A little context will help.
Indeed, IBKinx, this is bad. This is bad. One long incoherent blahhhh………what’s the point?
Eh…m
No comment.
It’s about the title.
Don’t feel too bad. It doesn’t mean you can’t write better! The story was bad but, I kinda understand what you tried to do.
And always know that some NS commenters will use you to shine.