An African Bride

An African Bride

 

 

I recently read something that reminded me of Rhema’s The Child Bride. I tried to talk the writer into taking poetry a little more serious (for the fun side of it) but she insisted she didn’t have ‘any’ talent for poetry. At first I thought just being modest, but she was serious.

She knows I would like to shag her (two years from now when she’ll be old enough to shag) and it really made her think I was just flattering her.

Now, I am not saying this is ‘top class’ stuff. But I see some talent here.

So, what are your thoughts? You guys see any talent too? What are her (obvious) errors? What does she need to improve?

She wants you all to be “honest and straight with her but don’t make her regret agreeing to post this (on NS)”. She

 

 

 

An African Bride

 

She sits coyly on the bamboo bed

Scared and terrified as she listens to evening birds

Her fingers drawing things on her laps

Her eyes so shy she can’t look up

Her long shapely legs clasped together

And her heart beating louder

He is behind her whispering things in her ear

Things she had loved but won’t want to hear

His hands massaging her shoulders with gentle caresses

Her pulse increases and her heart freezes

A man has never been this close before

The shocking reality that must happen has come

Her marriage night

The night she will never forget

 

19 – 3 – 2010

2:00 – 2:25

Inspired by the olden days marriage system.

 



16 thoughts on “An African Bride” by Jaywriter (@jaywriter)

  1. Bur u posted this thing before now…still finking of that “shagging”- U have a depraved mind o…lol.

    By the way, I wonder what happened to my initial comment? Abi u re-posted ni??? U re really in heat o!!!

    I take exception to the way you referred to poetry in slightly denigrating manner here –

    “I recently read something that reminded me of Rhema’s The Child Bride. I tried to talk the writer into taking poetry a little more serious (for the fun side of it) ….”

    Poetry is serious now….

  2. Depraved mind? Don’t we all think the same way? Lol…

    Haven’t posted it before. Just shared it on the forums.

    Na small thing make you go use ‘denigrating’ ni? Well, I believe sex and arts must be fun. Not saying it’s not serious, just saying it has to be fun, like playing.

    Arts is like a lady, she has to be fun, flirty and firm.

    Just rambled now oh, sorry, lol.

    1. ok. true. Cos I av seen it before. Me and u think the same? Hmmm. Maybe, maybe not! lol.

      @Jaywriter… u re crazie. I will tell someone!!! Hehehehe….

  3. well, I think this poet should write more.

    what does this line mean plz?
    Things she had loved but won’t want to hear

    1. @Adaobi Okwy means all those sweet nothings females love to hear. But with the loss of virginity looming, she’s a little ‘scared’ and so doesn’t wanna hear such things at that moment.

  4. Jay, thought we had talked bout this and the girls pin.

  5. @kaycee she never old enough to use bb na. You wan practise child abuse? Lol…

    1. Na wa oooo….I hope this gurl isn’t on NS here o. See as una dey mortgage her future!!!

  6. Ashawo Number 1!!! Well, make she write more na.

  7. @Raymond, me na good boy oh. @Shai if any divorce happen, na you cause am oh.

  8. @Jaywriter yes na me cause am…I will tell.

  9. an exploration of an African beauty, love your style of writing…

  10. gooseberry (@gooseberry)

    Lol. You guys have left the matter at hand. Jaywriter said she needed criticisms…. Well, i think the poet is kul, good for a start. There’s room for improvement though which she’ll get as she writes more. She should keep writing.

  11. @gooseberry boys will always be boys, lol.

  12. @jaywriter…….You are a funny guy. Something about you makes me chuckle, you seem light-hearted and fun and romantic.
    Hope those still apply to this day!

    Now, the poem: its very simple and concise. There is something vaguely erotic about it…. obviously hidden unintentionally.

  13. @Jaywriter…….You are a funny guy. Something about you makes me chuckle, you seem light-hearted and fun and romantic.
    Hope those still apply to this day!

    Now, the poem: its very simple and concise. There is something vaguely erotic about it…. obviously hidden unintentionally.

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