Lost

Lost

It started so innocently. It was just a comment that I made but it smarted and you replied with more venom than the words I’d spoken deserved. I was furious at your response and rather than apologize for my initial lapse in judgement I spat out my next words in anger and before I knew what was happening we were in the middle of a fight. A fight that had us slinging words at each other. Words laced with malice and thrown without thinking. We did not harm each other with blows, no, but we cut ourselves with our words.

The initial events will eventually fade from our memories but the words and actions that subsequently followed were much bigger and won’t leave our memory easily. No our minds will gnaw at them and leave us embittered.

I hate fighting with you. Why didn’t I just apologize the first time? Why didn’t I keep quiet when your words showed me I had upset you? Why are we still fighting? We are both miserable but yet we hold on to our pride and wait for the other to apologize. Days pass, they are spent avoiding you like a plague and replaying the scene.

Days have turned to weeks. The fiery anger has changed to the cold unforgiving type that places its owner in the lofty place of being in the right. People around ask us what’s wrong? And as we tell the story it becomes glaring to any sane person that offences are rising by the day and a heartfelt apology would end it all. At the moment however I am not sane and neither are you.  Each narration is filled with new embellishments that neither of us would concede to having added. We even dredge up wrongs long forgiven to buttress our stance. In our bid to justify ourselves we trouble the waters even more and refuse to see we have both committed offences much worse than the initial ones that caused the fight.

Weeks have turned to months and I still remember clearly what you said to me or so I think. My description of the events of course has me as an angel. The months have turned to a year and people have given up trying to help us. I miss you. I miss the ready ear that listened to my woes, the sisterly heart that shared my joy and the comforting presence of companionship. A friendship we built over years is lost.

I just saw you walk by and as the bitterness wells up in me I feel a nudge. I realize in part my contribution to the duel and a longing for days long gone fill me. On an impulse I wave and say hello and I’m glad when you replied though with a little smile on your lips and regret on your face. You make to stop but then you change your mind and continue to walk. I watch you go and cannot help but think it’s too late. The friendship is lost forever, or is it?

Tomorrow is another day.

 

Osakwe Nwamaka



23 thoughts on “Lost” by osakwe (@osakwe)

  1. Yea, tomorrow is another day (why cant this be the title?).
    Nice poetic piece. We all have regrets we cant seem to get over, i guess its part of the reasons we are human.
    Good.
    Banky

    1. I agree. I don’t think the title ‘Lost’ fully captures the essence of this piece. Maybe some part of it…but not everything.

      My take.

    2. To be frank I didn’t know what to title it. i decided on ‘lost’ at the last minute. Your suggestion does sound better

  2. Sweet piece. It just reinforces the simple things that we easily overlook when we’re friends but magnify when we mean just more than that to each other.

    It’s sad. It’s melancholic. It’s…nice.

  3. I found this a realistic portrayal of how many friendships come to an end. I also found it touching how the MC secretly wished that things could be mended. Well done, Osakwe.

  4. I really like this. It is so real and honest.
    Reminds me of the saying ‘Temper gets us in trouble, pride keeps us there’

    1. Thanks.
      So true.

  5. i really like this piece.
    good job Osakwe!

    check though
    The initial events will eventually fade from our memories but the words and actions that subsequently followed (mixed tenses…present 2 past) were much bigger and won’t leave our memory easily. No(,) our minds will gnaw at them and leave us embittered.

    lost?
    lost?

    kudos!

    1. I see that now. tenses can be really tricky

  6. Wow, the theme is almost analogous to a poem I submitted.

    You write very well.

    1. thanks.
      something like that happened to me only I was yet to write the story. Just goes to tell you that human experiences are similar and writers often have similar ideas. I can’t wait to read your piece and see your approach.

      1. Analogous? Hmmm.

        1. Analogous (adj) : Similar or corresponding in some respect.

          What’s your point, Shai?

  7. This piece also resonates with me. Nice one…

  8. I know how words can cut deep into the soul. It’s hard to sew up but eventually it heals. Yes, it does if we want it to heal. The friendship isn’t lost ‘yet’. Just as words hurt, it also soothes.
    Keeep it coming.

    1. so true.
      sometimes it’s like we can never heal but we can if we give ourselves a chance

  9. I found this touching, very touching.

  10. Beautiful piece,with a life lesson to boot.

    Well done!!!

  11. tade (@tadethompson)

    Not sure if this is an actual story, but I enjoyed it as an outpouring of emotion. Like a second-person monologue, I suppose.

    Well done. Interesting use of language.

    1. I’m glad you liked it.
      I guess you could call it a monologue

  12. I feel this…

  13. this got me…………… interesting

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