(A hotel room: a single bed, a table and armchair and a telephone on top, three beautiful portraits hung on the wall along with a decorative clock. Frank is seen speaking on the phone, dressed in a house-robe, underneath it his pyjamas. Noise outside.)
FRANK: I could not find a place to stay, Julia. I had no choice … I don’t know. The rich women here don’t have eyes for someone as handsome as I am … (laughs) … I could very well have allowed myself to be picked up by one of them … It is this crazy party down the hall. It has kept me awake all night. I even complained to the police on the phone to do something about it … I am not a spoilsport … Do you know, I had to drink seven cups of coffee to try and get to sleep … And I just couldn’t. I kept going to the bathroom … The hotel? Of course I lodged in the hotel … You are right. It is a fantastic piece of rubbish … But sometimes, I wonder where this hotel gets its water from. The water system is bad … (knock on the door) Hold on. There is someone at the door. (calls) Come in.
(The door opens. MR. ULU, with a glass of red wine in his hand, dressed in white shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, enters with a young lady in a very skimpy outfit.)
ULU: Hey, Frank! What are you doing in here? You sure are missing all the fun out there.
lady: (excited) Wow! It is a real blast!!
(Frank quickly covers the mouthpiece of the phone.)
FRANK: Is that your party out there?
ULU: No. It’s the hotel’s first anniversary party arranged by the manager. Didn’t you get an invitation?
FRANK: I never got an invitation.
ULU: I’m so sorry. Oh, by the way, Frank, this lady is called Sherry. Sherry, meet Frank Ozioko.
SHERRY: (seductively walks towards Frank) How do you do, Frank?
(Frank firmly grips the mouthpiece of the phone.)
FRANK: Em, Sherry, isn’t it?
SHERRY: (nods) Uh-huh.
ULU: Come on out into the pool, Frank. We are all going to take a skinny dip.
FRANK: (curiously) A skinny dip? (Mr. Ulu and Sherry nod excitedly. Frank returns to the phone) Julia? Julia, I have to go for a meeting … Mr. Ulu just came into my room with one of his, eh, men …
(As Frank still talks on the phone, Sherry walks back to Mr. Ulu and they talk in low tones.)
SHERRY: Hm! Is that the guy? (thumbs at Frank)
ULU: (nods) Yes, that is him. Just give him a very nice treat. I’ll even pay you for the extras. But he is a tough one, though.
SHERRY: (disgusted) Men, his face is a perfect epitome of total disfiguration. He is ugly!
ULU: Does that matter? Just work on him, will you?
SHERRY: Alright, but why does he have to look like that?
FRANK: I will be coming home tomorrow night, Julia … OK. Bye Bye. (hangs up the phone)
SHERRY: Em, Frank, may I use your bathroom for just a minute? I spilled some peach drink on my blouse.
FRANK: Em, sure, of course.
(Frank and Mr. Ulu watch as Sherry enters the bathroom.)
ULU: Frank, you have to hurry up now. There are hundreds of games to be played. And all you have to do is sign up.
FRANK: But Mr. Ulu, we didn’t come here to play hotel games. We came on an assignment.
ULU: Come on, Frank! Stop being frank and have some fun!!
FRANK: What about the water?
ULU: The water? The water is fine. Come on in and splash along with the girls! Have some fun!!
FRANK: I don’t mean that water, Mr. Ulu. I mean …
SHERRY: (calls from the bathroom) Frank! Frank!!
ULU: Well, on second thoughts, I think you should have some fun right here. I’ll see you later, ok. (quickly exits)
FRANK: (calls) But, Mr. Ulu …
SHERRY: (calls again) Frank!!!
FRANK: (hesitantly) Yes?
SHERRY: Do you have a shirt I could wear? I had to wash my blouse. (comes out with a towel covering her chest and her skimpy shorts)
FRANK: (baffled) But … But you are not wearing any … any …
SHERRY: Frank, my blouse is soaking wet.
FRANK: I do not think I have a shirt of your sizes, eh, size.
SHERRY: (confronts him) I’ll take anything you’ve got.
FRANK: (backs off) But … but I don’t have anything.
(Frank continues to back off towards the bed and Sherry continues to confront him. As she pushes him on the bed, a heavy knock comes on the door. She repels immediately.)
VOICE: Open the door! It is the police!!
SHERRY: (swears) Oh my God!
(The door opens. POLICEMAN enters, dressed in his uniform with dark glasses.)
POLICEMAN: OK. Here is another one. (grabs Frank by the arm) Let’s go! (pauses) Hey, lady! Go put something on.
SHERRY: (coyly) My blouse is soaking wet.
POLICEMAN: (grabs her by the arm) I’m taking you in anyhow. I am not sure you know what you came to Nairobi to do, sir.
FRANK: But you don’t understand. I’m the person who called.
POLICEMAN: That is right, sir. You called. She came. (pauses) Let’s go. (Exeunt all.)