One Bad Night — 3

One Bad Night — 3

Scene Three

(A hotel room: a single bed, a table and armchair and a telephone on top, three beautiful portraits hung on the wall along with a decorative clock.  Frank is seen speaking on the phone, dressed in a house-robe, underneath it his pyjamas.  Noise outside.)

FRANK:    I could not find a place to stay, Julia.  I had no choice … I don’t know.  The rich women here don’t have eyes for someone as handsome as I am … (laughs) … I could very well have allowed myself to be picked up by one of them … It is this crazy party down the hall.  It has kept me awake all night.  I even complained to the police on the phone to do something about it … I am not a spoilsport … Do you know, I had to drink seven cups of coffee to try and get to sleep … And I just couldn’t.  I kept going to the bathroom … The hotel?  Of course I lodged in the hotel … You are right.  It is a fantastic piece of rubbish … But sometimes, I wonder where this hotel gets its water from. The water system is bad … (knock on the door)  Hold on.  There is someone at the door.  (calls)  Come in.

(The door opens.  MR. ULU, with a glass of red wine in his hand, dressed in white shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, enters with a young lady in a very skimpy outfit.)

ULU: Hey, Frank!  What are you doing in here?  You sure are missing all the fun out there.

lady: (excited)  Wow!  It is a real blast!!

(Frank quickly covers the mouthpiece of the phone.)

FRANK:    Is that your party out there?

ULU: No.  It’s the hotel’s first anniversary party arranged by the manager.  Didn’t you get an invitation?

FRANK:    I never got an invitation.

ULU: I’m so sorry.  Oh, by the way, Frank, this lady is called Sherry.  Sherry, meet Frank Ozioko.

SHERRY:    (seductively walks towards Frank)  How do you do, Frank?

(Frank firmly grips the mouthpiece of the phone.)

FRANK:    Em, Sherry, isn’t it?

SHERRY:    (nods)  Uh-huh.

ULU: Come on out into the pool, Frank.  We are all going to take a skinny dip.

FRANK:    (curiously)  A skinny dip?  (Mr. Ulu and Sherry nod excitedly.  Frank returns to the phone)  Julia?  Julia, I have to go for a meeting … Mr. Ulu just came into my room with one of his, eh, men …

(As Frank still talks on the phone, Sherry walks back to Mr. Ulu and they talk in low tones.)

SHERRY:    Hm!  Is that the guy?  (thumbs at Frank)

ULU: (nods)  Yes, that is him.  Just give him a very nice treat.  I’ll even pay you for the extras.  But he is a tough one, though.

SHERRY:    (disgusted)  Men, his face is a perfect epitome of total disfiguration.  He is ugly!

ULU: Does that matter?  Just work on him, will you?

SHERRY:    Alright, but why does he have to look like that?

FRANK:    I will be coming home tomorrow night, Julia … OK.  Bye Bye.  (hangs up the phone)

SHERRY:    Em, Frank, may I use your bathroom for just a minute?  I spilled some peach drink on my blouse.

FRANK:    Em, sure, of course.

(Frank and Mr. Ulu watch as Sherry enters the bathroom.)

ULU: Frank, you have to hurry up now.  There are hundreds of games to be played.  And all you have to do is sign up.

FRANK:    But Mr. Ulu, we didn’t come here to play hotel games.  We came on an assignment.

ULU: Come on, Frank!  Stop being frank and have some fun!!

FRANK:    What about the water?

ULU: The water?  The water is fine.  Come on in and splash along with the girls!  Have some fun!!

FRANK:    I don’t mean that water, Mr. Ulu.  I mean …

SHERRY:    (calls from the bathroom)  Frank!  Frank!!

ULU: Well, on second thoughts, I think you should have some fun right here.  I’ll see you later, ok.  (quickly exits)

FRANK:    (calls)  But, Mr. Ulu …

SHERRY:    (calls again)  Frank!!!

FRANK:    (hesitantly)  Yes?

SHERRY:    Do you have a shirt I could wear?  I had to wash my blouse.  (comes out with a towel covering her chest and her skimpy shorts)

FRANK:    (baffled)  But … But you are not wearing any … any …

SHERRY:    Frank, my blouse is soaking wet.

FRANK:    I do not think I have a shirt of your sizes, eh, size.

SHERRY:    (confronts him)  I’ll take anything you’ve got.

FRANK:    (backs off)  But … but I don’t have anything.

(Frank continues to back off towards the bed and Sherry continues to confront him.  As she pushes him on the bed, a heavy knock comes on the door.  She repels immediately.)

VOICE:    Open the door!  It is the police!!

SHERRY:    (swears)  Oh my God!

(The door opens.  POLICEMAN enters, dressed in his uniform with dark glasses.)

POLICEMAN: OK.  Here is another one.  (grabs Frank by the arm)  Let’s go!  (pauses)  Hey, lady!  Go put something on.

SHERRY:    (coyly)  My blouse is soaking wet.

POLICEMAN: (grabs her by the arm)  I’m taking you in anyhow.  I am not sure you know what you came to Nairobi to do, sir.

FRANK:    But you don’t understand.  I’m the person who called.

POLICEMAN: That is right, sir.  You called.  She came.  (pauses)  Let’s go.  (Exeunt all.)

Curtains
-*-*-*-



15 thoughts on “One Bad Night — 3” by Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

  1. Okay o. DIDN’T know there was a part II already…

    Like to see where this is headed…

  2. Oh Lord! What has he gotten himself into now? Keep writing.

  3. this is the first part that am reading but, am hooked already…really a bad night for Frank. I’d keep my eye out for more of these.

    check though
    three beautiful portraits ‘hung’…this is hang. Three beautiful portraits hang…

    great job here!

    1. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

      @Adaobiokwy, em, if I were writing a story, I would be thinking of the proper tenses, but this is a play. In describing the setting in the play, the rules of proper tenses are freely broken. Thank you for correcting me, though, even though I wouldn’t think about it that much.

  4. Hey girl, i had a problem with the following:

    Do you know, I had to drink seven cups of coffee to try and get to sleep … And I just couldn’t. I kept going to the bathroom

    You probably meant that he took 7?? cups of coffee to stay awake and not to go to sleep and couldnt? does coffee put anyone to sleep?

  5. @chetachi, try caffeine; it’s a stimulant. could like Jay Holiday sang, “…put u to bed”

  6. @Adoabi, Yes, caffeine is a stimulant but a CNS stimulant and it keeps u up and not drowsy cos its ergogenic and keeps you mentally and physically alert.

    even in cases of overdose of caffeine, your CNS will have clashes with your heart, brain and entire system resulting into extreme symptoms like irregular heartbeat, nervousness, insomnia, irritability and tachycardia but not drowsiness/sleep

    1. @Chetachi, convincing argument. caffeine…wt about decaf?
      now, am ur std…fire away!

    2. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

      Em, I’m also your student, @Chetachi. Fire on! I wasn’t even thinking whether the coffee cups Frank took were caf or decaf. Thank you for pointing that out, mi dear. :)

  7. @Adobi, decaf just has minimal amounts of caffeine but still wont put you to sleep. they make the decaf just so its not as habit forming or addicting as regular coffee that has plenty of caffeine.

    1. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

      Em, apart from the factual issue of coffee-drinking and what it does to the human anatomy if taken in excess, is it not still up to that human being to react that way or not, especially if coffee is something this particular human being is so accustomed to?

      I believe the technique I used there is exaggeration. Frank, in my own opinion as an NS-commentator, not the playwright, exaggerated deliberately in order to create a comic streak.

      1. @Emmanuella, I pray that i understood your question but if I didnt, forgive me!

        If you are refering to the person who drinks the coffee deciding to react that way or not, at this point, its a physiological dependence and no longer within his control, dont forget that coffee/caffeine is addicting and you dont pick or choose how you are gonna react to it. the caffeine stimulates your nervous system and you get those symptoms.
        But you could be right that Frank was just exaggerating to Julie but I am trying not to take this out of context cos you wrote that Frank took 7 cups to enable him sleep but my argument is that if he was trying to sleep, he would not be drinking coffee to do that. Maybe a CNS depressant and not a stimulant.
        Please correct me if I misunderstood your question:) sista

        1. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

          Em, remember, @chetachi, that Frank said he took seven cups of coffee to try and get to sleep, then he said he couldn’t sleep because he kept going to the bathroom. I would assume that he reacted differently to the effect of those coffee cups he took, and to me, that was quite comic. And, yes, the medical terms you’ve just uttered are very much in point, not to be disputed much.

    2. @Chetachi…ur student for life!

  8. @Adaobi, we all learn from each other, I am sure I could learn something from you in some areas:)

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