Dry lips
Without sip
Trousers without zip
Tears flow
Empty stomach without content
Legs ached b’cos of trek
Bodies in scales b’cos of scorching sun
working without pay
No mouth to say
Cake without a taker
Hunger strikes
Our children are taught under the mango trees
Rats in the treasury
Theives collect bursary
Police have quarrelled with twenty naira
Our country hard!
lol…I like the playful style. Drove home the point nevertheless, country hard!
@shai,thanks
Simple and sweeeEeEeeeEt.
Simply sweet.
Well done. You’re improving..keep at it!
@seun,am glad u like it.thank u
no comments…
Pass mark.
Lol
@kaycee,thank God u landed here,i appreciate.free spirit!!
passing…….yeah i know…ur just reminding me. gud
pass fast……am reminding u.thank u
True talk, nothing more to add.
@myne,you are the CEO,keep the flag flying
Very succintly written…true to the last word….short and simple.
@chetachi,i appreciate
Nice one. Straight to the point. Well done!
@igwe,you are the king,i feel appreciated.thanks
Chai. Well done, wetin again U wan’ make I talk? I gburu ya ebe a!
u suppose add hehehehe…..ima na…..the trademark
Nice poem but there is room for a lot of improvement. I like the simple and playful style but some lines connect weakly, especially the first two lines….
I’m sorry to ask, but what is this? @uchechukwu1. This is unlike you sir.
I acknowledge the playfulness, but I still insist that poetry is a serious business, just like reggae.
I forgave the first “b’cos” but seeing it again and again nauseates me. It waters down the dignity of poetry and of course diction.
Please work on it next time. Thanks
Sir @Chime221, Thanks for reading. I will make amend.
For some reason, I love this piece, I love the unorthodox style employed, the careless arrangement of words and the on and off rhyming.
I read each line as an individual piece or a doublet, depending on what comes after. Well done, keep writing, don’t feel the need to conform to accepted patterns or norms, just find your own peculiar style and work on it. Like I do with my stories in letter form, an sure it will be fun.