Today get as e be.

Today get as e be.

The alarm sound for my head like piano wey im chords don spoil. No be jus now now I sleep? As I stop de alarm, na so de phone ring. Na my boyfriend be dat, e wan know whether I still dey lie down for bed. De guy no kukuma trust my alarm as e know say I too like sleep.

“Hello?” I do my voice like say I don wake tey tey.

“No tell me say you still dey sleep?” Chei! My guy don know all my small small tricks finish.

“I be wan pray. I just dey wake.”

“Na so. E be like say you don dream forget say time don go. Na 7.45 be dis o.”

“John, abeg no use me play; na now my alarm ring.”

“I no follow you drag sha but if you open your eye well well, you go see say everywhere don bright finish.”

As I open my eye look the wall clock, I jump up shout. De annoying ting be say I hear John dey laff me for ontop phone as if no be im cause am. As I cut de phone I come see 10 missed calls, two from my friend for office, two from my oga and the remaining from my guy. Chei! I don hear am today, wetin I go talk say happen?

As I carry my water reach baffroom, na so I hear Iya Biodun dey sing from inside. I knock de door so she go know say person dey wait am. Iya Biodun fit spend time for baffroom dey scrub wetin man pickin no know.

“Ta ni nye?” She ask from inside baffroom as if de person wey knock door don commit abomination.

“Ekaaro, Iya Abbe, I wan use de toilet.” Na unless person wan shit na im go make am hurry.

“Ah! Nkeshi, good morring o. Who dey teash you Yoruba? You never late for work so?” De woman too like to dey spoil person name.

“I don late well well.”

E be like say, she too get some ting wey she wan go do because she no too tey inside. Immediately she comot, I carry my water inside, baff kia kia. As I wear my cloth finish, I carry my make-up and shoe put for bag, run comot.

“Okada!”

“Where, sister?” The okada man face look like person wey don drink paraga dis morning, come smoke igbo join but I no send.

“Church bus stop.”

“Na 100 naira o.”

“Haba! Church wey just dey here? You no gree 70 naira.”

“Ehn waka if e just dey here now.”

“Na fight? Person no fit price again? Na wa o.”

Vex dey catch me as the money don pass wetin I budget for, but wetin man pickin go do na? If to say I know say na so dis morning go be I for kukuma do tings jeje or even wait for anoda okada but as I dey hurry too much, I no get choice; na as de bike dey fall as motor wey do fast turn hit us, na im I realize say, every ting wey we do for dis life get choice and dat na for we hand every ting dey.

“Ha! My leg o….” The Okada man begin shout.

I jus sit down for floor dey look like mumu as people jus dey shout at the driver of the motor. Today never start but e jus get as e go be.



39 thoughts on “Today get as e be.” by enoquin (@enoquin)

  1. I enjoy this ur gist well well. Me won learn how to write pidgin like this.

    1. Pay me na make i teach you…lol!

  2. Funny. I envy you jare. Abeg try find job for wazobia radio station. E go fit u well well.

    1. wazobia get ogbonge people wey sbi speak pidgin die. Den go just sama my own put for one corner… thank you jare.

  3. You really tried to write the entire thing in pidgin. That got me smiling. You do well jare.

    1. Thank you wellu wellu.

  4. I like dis ur style well, well, and as Kaycee talk ur tory sweet no be small, well done o!

    1. Thank you o. I hope say as the tory sweet e no run your belle?

  5. this is good!!!!!!!!!! e get as im be, love the language, got to donate you some points

    1. Oya donate am kia kia…

  6. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    No be small thing o.men u dig dis ting die.i been dey write one drama for pidgin yesterday,dis your own don con prove say pidgin language no bi for those wey dey leave for slum only,but office executives they use am and e no mean say dem no go school or dem no know wetin dem they do.
    Make we keep writing for pidgin so that e no go be like stigma,wey some peoPle wey think say dem know book don turn am to.great work!*wink*

    1. My broda de ting no too easy like dat o. Na two tings propel me. I do my IT for Radio Lagos/eko fm 6 years ago and I bin dey follow dem act one drama for radio wey dem dey call office palaver and na pidgin dem dey use most of the time but as wazobia fm come carry am go the next level, the ting sweet me no be small because I reason say people wey dey work for wazobia get big advantage pass dier oda colleagues for other stations, dem fit speak clean english added wit the pidgin which oda people go dey try look on dem wit disdain but the truth be say, dem wey sabi speak english, pidgin and oda languages get leverage… Naija na we own, who go carry am if all of us turn to oyinbo finish.
      The second ting be say, I be wan see if NS go publish am….
      As for the one wey you do take for your vocabulary, no vex but you go find me small ‘kishi’…lol

  7. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    Meanwhile i don get some vocabulary (pidgin) from this your short short story!

  8. Hehehe,e get wetin I just notice,e be like say @Myne Withman no sabi pidgin. Eiyaaa.
    Her comment get as e be. make we sanction am?

    1. Oh you too notice am? I even doubt say she read every. E be like say de ting for don give am small headache…but how we go take sanction am..? Abeg admin, no sanction me o

    2. Ha you sure say de ting no even give am small headache so? But how we wan take sanction am? Abeg admin, we no dey plan coup o

  9. amaviv (@amakangwoni)

    I love the way you take write the short story for pidgin. I don try sent text to my boyfriend with pidgin but e no easy. Well done.

    1. true talk, de ting no easy. Imagine trying to write a poem in pidgin…

  10. Hahahahaha. E really get as e be…Nice one.

  11. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    @ eloquin which kisi i go drop,bone o.u too no dey learn from wazobia?i go inform dem too sey person they tap their vocab.meanwhile i hope to see more of this kind work from you.@ kaycee i agree with u,na true sey our madam struggle to pen that pidgin.@ maviv men my girlfriend tire to send me pidgin text when i sent her series.she actually confessed.but i like the idea.just keep trying u will get it.i tell u,e dey sweet to express your love in pidgin..

    1. You mean ‘enoquin’ right? Why, you no go drop my kishi? I talk say wazobia inspire me but I no learn from dem. I no even dey lag now so how i take copy dem?

  12. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    nothing do u…..meanwhile enoquin wey i spell na slip of fingers d name reminds me of chloroquine,just pulling ur leg on that wazobia thought.you sef u know sey u too gbasky for this level.your story speak like garri weigh rich with milk and sugar that kain ting.meanwhile keep at it o.u don be my model for ns as far as pidgin dey concerned.
    As par ur kishi FORGET THAT TING!FILE!

    1. i don dey blush o….
      @uche why you dey laff. cat chop ya tongue?

  13. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    @ uche why u dey laf?

  14. Oooosheeee!!!
    I no know wetin l go talk,dis tory dey blow my mind! Enoquin,u too much!

    1. Thank you, abeg make your mind no too blow o

  15. @enoquin you don carry your write write enter another level unto say i gbadun ya yarn here.. you sabi pass sabi

    1. Wetin I go do na…una too dey intimidate pesin…lol

  16. dis type of writing dey new to me but i gbadun am die.u too much infact u too try.10 gbosa for u jor.

  17. gbosa! gbosa!! gbosa!!! gbosa!!!! gbosa!!!!! gbosa!!!!!! gbosa!!!!!!! gbosa!!!!!!!! gbosa!!!!!!!!! gbosa!!!!!!!!!!… Make I stop? Thank you my sister

  18. This wan sweet wellu wellu! Chei!

    To say i fit ni i go open station give you work…you get talent no be small!!!

    You write every for pidgin.

    Sister…you do well.

    1. Thank you oh…

  19. Having written a pidgin adventure myself sometimes ago, I know the extra that would have gone into writing this. You did very well with the pidgin though I know you can do better. but as dis be the first pidgin tory for NS, make i give you pass mark. u try no be small jare…
    Banky

  20. Did I tell you I have enjoyed everything I have read except for the one on the DVD party and CPP party….Politricks dey rub me the wrong way.

  21. Wow! This is cool stuff, was laughing my head off…didn’t know reading pidgin could be this cool. I salute you o.

  22. Hmm,I love your pidgin ‘torys’, thumbs up. Could be better sha.
    The thing with this style is that it gives you some kind of poetic license as no grammatical errors can be pointed out. The only thing that can be judged is the plot,and I think you did a good job with this one,kudos

  23. @enoquin
    nice…………………

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