A Story of Murder

Two years now, she had borne the agony of a barren wife. She couldn’t understand, why a woman like her couldn’t fulfill the wishes of every mother in-law. She could remember vividly when she walked down  the aisle, She was full of smiles..little did she know that she had signed an agreement with sorrow and sadness…the most deadly twins. Her life was turning upside down…with her in-laws on her neck and the increasing impatience of her husband to manufacture a child. She had began to lose her mind.

The story would have been different if her husband had not violated her marital rights..um! it wasn’t his 1st,2nd or 3rd time..coming back home late and drunk..if she asked ‘why?’..she would get beaten for it. He slept from one woman’s bed to another, this she continued to allow and put up with, trying her best to do all the do-able of a married woman, all to no avail. He constantly reminded her of her most dreaded woes, her bed could testify of the magnitude of her tears, she searched and prayed to a GOD she blamed for all her storms. Her husband joyfully played the role of the thorn in the flesh. But on that fateful day..that appointed hour..that destined second, her stories of woes changed.

Just like every other day, he came in drunk and angry, he tried to pick up a fight…she didn’t respond…he became more offended..she was mute..he charged at her..she weaved….he kept coming more and more….her heartbeat raced faster…he threw the vase at her..caught her by the left side of her hand..threatened to kill her..she screamed..he choked her..the instinct of survival was awakened..

Yes blood was trickling from his head..his muscles tensed…she was scared..she screamed..it happened too fast…she wept on her husband lifeless body..she only defended herself.




-9 months later after her husband’s death..she carried her 1st male child.
Now she was weeping aloud as she embraced her son who was soaked in tears already, she could barely complete her sentences…This was her story..it was THE STORY OF MURDER.

22 thoughts on “A Story of Murder” by emmyfrosty (@emmyfrosty)

  1. Not well told emmyfrosty. Too rushed. Wrong tenses in most places. Learn to pace Ur story.

  2. ADVICE noted…wrote this short story over 2 years ago..just wanted to share it with a larger crowd. well thanks for being part of it.

  3. A short short with a time honoured plot. I’m not sure the use of caps enhances the tale. The flow is hampered by the confusing mix of tenses. Nonetheless I was able to empathise with the MC. Tidy this up to make it a great story.

  4. @emmyfrosty, this story is just cool, a breezy read. you treated it in an offhand manner when you could have made something bigger out of it. by doing that, by being too casual, you have cut what would have been a three-piece suit into a monkey jacket LOL. well done all the same

  5. It was quick and fast paced, but I managed to get the gist of it.

  6. @Xikay, that was funny (the monkey jacket thing). @ all, i would do better.. thanks.

    1. i thought something like that would help you view the comments on a lighter note…and we’re waiting to see better and better stuff from you.

      1. sure…tanx

  7. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    All has been said here.I think it is a great story,captivating,tantalizing but should have been edited.This is a great story I envy the opening paragraphs,well done!

  8. i liked the breeziness of it

    1. i feel it here!!!

  9. Straightforward, if rushed story. What happened to her case – she was granted bail, but what was the final judgment? Or did you mean to say that the case was dismissed?

    Note that ‘on her neck’ in “Her life was turning upside down…with her in-laws on her neck” isn’t standard English; you could say ‘with her in-laws pestering her’ or ‘with her in-laws on her case’ (which is more colloquial). Look out for other ‘non-standard usages of English as well.

    1. wow..standard and non standard english..(laughs). Nice one Tola.. tanx for being part of my world.

  10. The story is good. The telling..well…

    I like the beginning. With the first few sentences…you drew us in…but then, as in you suddenly became aware of time you rushed us thru the story and BOOM! We were at the end.


  11. As the others have said, it was breezy. I was settling in for a long read only to find myself at the end. Got the gist though I would have loved to see her in-laws reactions after she made bail and gave birth.

    1. that’s a nice idea. they would be ashamed and happy at the same time

  12. Raymond said my mind. Please, this could be better. You seemed in a hurry to nowhere! Do more, and you’ll achieve more. Goodluck

  13. Yes SIRs…………..
    and ma

  14. Too short and too fast a read. Expansion bro, expansion!! Don’t write like me pls -this is the way I would have written this story- short and straight to the point- but I know that you could express this same story in a longer write up and transport us – readers – into that world, to feel each character. I would like to read this story again -rewritten. Thanks.

    1. wow!! i like this…well am not promising to rewrite but i have taken notice of your point…

      tanx xter.

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