PART 7- I Can Never Do Anything Right!
Terrance was highly upset, how dare that Segun guy talk to him like that! He was only being a friend and comforting Lola. He was pretty sure that Lola’s tears had something to do with Segun, she’s been so distance lately. Throughout the rest of the service, he struggled with staying focused…he kept stealing glances at Lola and he just wanted to hold her in his arms again.
“We are all sinners! No one is without flaws and weaknesses, The bible says in Psalm 51:5 “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” Pastor Shola preached as if she was hearing directly from God. “If you commit a sin, don’t feel guilty…don’t hang your head low…God sees your heart and he knows that we’ll fall once in a while…the fact that you feel “bad” or guilty after you’ve sinned is a good thing, it means that the spirit of God is in you!…So, after you’ve “done the do”…jump down to your knees, fall on your face and ask for M-E-R-C-Y…ask God to forgive you!!!…ask him to help you to become dead to sin!!!…Lift up your hands and ask for help, you can’t do it by yourself!”
Lola quickly sat up straight, she felt like Pastor Shola was looking her square in her eyes and talking to her…all of a sudden she felt lighter, she felt God’s love warm her soul. “Thank you Jesus…I love you Lord” she whispered to herself. She looked past the stage and into the eyes of Segun, he smiled at her and nodded his head gently. Lola returned the smile quickly and turned back to Pastor Shola as she rounded up her sermon.
“Don’t allow the shackles of sin to hold you bound…we’re all human…don’t hold on to the guilt…repent and let go…and make a conscious effort to not repeat that sin…God loves you, he sees your hearts…he’ll help you, if you allow him to…there will always be a way for escape…allow your flesh to decrease and his spirit to increase with you…Now bow your heads and let us pray.”
Segun smiled and felt relieved, he hoped that Lola felt the same way also. After seeing her crying this morning he was willing to do what ever it took to make her smile again. Looking up at her a few minutes ago and finally seeing her smile, made him feel good. Pastor Shola was always on point, every sermon made him think. And that’s how he knew that she was indeed his spiritual leader. He also couldn’t shake the feeling that Terrance was up to no good, especially since he caught him starring at Lola a few times during the sermon.
“Hey babe, are you feeling better” Segun asked Lola as they hugged each other. “Yes, thank you, How are you?” Lola asked while looking away, “I’m good, happy to see you smile again.” Lola blushed, she was a bit uncomfortable and didn’t want so much attention from Segun at the moment. She was glad when she spotted her two buddies, Shade and Bola. “Excuse me hun, I’ll be right back.” She quickly walked towards her friends. “Ladies! Oga o, are we fighting??? Long time no see…no speak…no nothing! What’s up nau?” The three friends hugged and chatted for a few minutes. Shade was so excited, “We need to hang out asap and play catch up! I get gist for you guys!!!” Bola started laughing, “What’s new? There’s always something!.” “Wait ooo, Lola how was your anniversary?” Shade asked with enthusiam. Lola smirked and said “Yea…that, we definitely need to catch up.”
Segun walked up to the gang and greeted Shade and Bola. “Sorry to interrupt you all, but I’m starving. Can I borrow Lola for a lunch date please?” Lola smiled and gave her girls the “I’ll call you later look” and hugged them good bye. “So where are we going? I didn’t even know that we were going for lunch.” Segun gently grabbed her hand and held it just as Terrance walked towards them. “Sorry baby, I meant to tell you before you went to talk to Bola and Shade.” Terrance cleared his throat, “Hey guys…have a blessed week. Take care Lola, hope you’re feeling better?” Lola nodded and smiled, “Yes I am thank you, sorry about your shirt.”
Lola and Segun ended up at their favorite Thai restaurant. Lola ordered her usual Thai tea to drink and for her entree, she order Pad Thai. Segun got a Thai fruit punch to drink and his favorite Thai dish, Pineapple Rice. They talked and laughed and enjoyed their meal, it was as if last night never happened. Segun was savoring the moment but he knew he had to address the issue. “Lola, I sincerely want to apologize for last night. I’m sorry for putting you in that position, I should have dropped you home. Please forgive me, I don’t ever want to see you cry again.” Lola looked away and suddenly felt angry, “Segun, I’m just so disappointed about the whole thing. I don’t know if I’m more upset at you or myself. But it can’t happen again…I can’t deal with the guilt or shame anymore.” Her voice started to crack and she stopped. “I’m sorry, I…I just don’t know what to say…umm, are you ready to go?”
Segun was suddenly confused, what else could he have done or said. Why was she so angry at him??? After all, he didn’t force himself on her. “Yea, I’m ready.” He asked their waiter for the check and left a nice tip. He drove Lola back to her car in silence, he felt like he was always wrong in Lola’s eyes. “Lola, I really want us to deal with this before we begin this new week. I just don’t understand why you’re so upset? Please tell me.” Lola rolled her eyes, finding it hard to compose herself, “Segun, I can’t explain it. I just know that I feel filthy! And I feel that we’ll eventually do it again. How many times have we said it won’t happen again?” Segun sighed “Yes, you’re right, but it takes two and we have to make a conscious effort. Like Pastor Shola said earlier, we can’t do it ourselves, we need to ask God for help.” A single tear ran down Lola’s cheek, “I’ve been asking for help…it’s annoying, I’m just tired of feeling this way. I don’t think I can take this anymore. I so sorry but I have to go now.” She opened the car door and exited Segun’s car. Segun just sat there, he was confused and hurt.