I Never Flirt With A Celebrity

I Never Flirt With A Celebrity

I Never Flirt With A Celebrity

I had just arrived Abuja and was so tired and just wanted to sleep. I decide to check my inbox one last time. One of my muses just mused me, I had to reply. I picked up a DVD paper and scribbled down some lines.

 

 

 

This is what I wrote, unedited…

“I have never seen words perform more magic
We could blame the rest on the glamour
But this is on a plain sheet
No fancy fonts
No poetic handwriting
Just simple words
Born in Greece
That keeps one illusional

Now the pages are blank
No words in the bank
Guess the so-called next-of-kins
Have withdrawn not thinking of tomorrow
And when the last kobo is spent
We’ll go looking for new next-of-kins
A man holds a woman’s sanity
The woman’s bossom, the man’s sanity

If you ever feel like Randy Orton
But kissing and not kicking
Then you’ll realize
The power in a lady’s ass
If you ever write on her ass
Words that she’ll see
Then kiss out the words later
And let her love inspire

Shag the lady
Don’t shag the shag
So if there’s no lady
No lust shag to shag
Fondle the breast
Forget the milk
Cuz the milk you’ll take
Is there for the baby’s sake

Let the muses tell you where to go
Prose
Play
Poetry
Porn
Pictures
Paths
Let them caress us
Into ejaculating words
Words that perform
Even when we’ve lust the glamour
And when the words are all that remain with us
Simple
In a plain sheet
With no fancy handwriting
Let’s still see that magic
That once kept us in a true magical illusion”

Back to my story…

I never flirt with celebrities and the reasons are simple – I’m not a celebrity, I’m not rich and I’m not handsome.

I was in Abuja recenlty for a film conference and I met my newest love cum muse. It was love at first sight probably because she reminded me of another celebrity love. The moment I saw her, I knew she was the one. So I made my move. But she was a little aloof. But love had happened already, so I made a fool of myself the next few days.

I learnt later that she was a celebrity and her aloofness then made total sense. All along, I had beleieved she was one of the student participants. She possibly felt I knew she was a celebrity and saw the conference as a way of getting her love. So I stopped the wooing and went over to someone else. I turned my attention to my second love. I made sure she was really a student and our 3-day affair was quite memorable.

I hope nobody gets the wrong idea of the meaning of love here. Females are my muses. And I am a crazy artiste and it’s therefore usually hard for just a female to muse me.

I just hope my celebrity love, who I still love by the way, understands that I didn’t know she was a celebrity. I wouldn’t have tried getting a musing session with her. I’m not that stupid.  But I still love her and would forever do. And I don’t expect her to love me back though.

With her musing, I was able to make little sense out of the a small portion of that scribbling.

Never seen words more magical
No glitz
No glamour
No fancy fonts or poetic lines
Just simple Greek words
Said in plain English
“Nice to meet you”
And love happened…

I hope ‘Polly comes along’ and makes sense of the other parts.



19 thoughts on “I Never Flirt With A Celebrity” by Jaywriter (@jaywriter)

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very nice. I like the Randy Orton part; is that guy even still alive? I hope U get to meet Ur Celebrity Love again.
    Sweet!

    1. @Raymond, Randy Orton still there. He’s beefing CM Punk’s group now. Haven’t checked in on their Mania yet.

      Thanks for reading. My celebrity, hope we meet too.

  2. Nice one !U for pass your boundary na! Lol…

    1. @Elly Turtoe no oh. I no wan pass boundary oh.

      Thanks for reading.

  3. @JAYWRITER, one word…PURRFEKT!!!

    1. Yes bro, I think it is perfect…I detect some order within the chaos…

      1. u know what they say about order in the midst of seemingly chaotic and random events???

        @Jaywriter By the way, I fink I now know why u had that red mark on ur cheek when I saw u on April 8. lol.

        1. Didn’t realise you noticed, lol.

  4. @xikay thanks for reading bro. Enjoying your German too. Merci.

    1. em, I think ‘thank you’ in German is ‘danke’.

  5. Good one Jay. I should do a check to see just how many of your works you did not mention or make reference to ‘shag’. I won’t be surprised if I find none, lol…

    1. @scopeman – know oh that it’s French. Was just pranking @xikay a little. Thanks for reading. About shag, don’t have it in a lot of my posts oh, lol. @chioma thanks for reading.

  6. Chioma (@nutritionalert)

    Interesting read!

  7. I just like the fact that the love word comes naturally to you, almost like one breathing.

    I also like the order( i.e. poem ) that came out of the chaos.

    well done!!!

  8. Nice style….prose-poetry-prose-poetry….I like the rythm of it too. Great stuff.

  9. “A man holds a woman’s sanity
    The woman’s bossom, the man’s sanity”

    That should put to rest the issue of gender dissimilarity.
    Nice!

  10. Wow… This came out nice…
    Good one Jay! What’s to be said more?

    May Aondo bless our muses! ;)

  11. This is my favorite from your ridiculously crazy and suggestive rambling…….. This is utterly creative @Jaywriter.
    Let the muses tell you where to go
    Prose
    Play
    Poetry
    Porn
    Pictures
    Paths
    Let them caress us
    Into ejaculating words
    Words that perform
    Even when we’ve lust the glamour
    And when the words are all that remain with us
    Simple
    In a plain sheet
    With no fancy handwriting
    Let’s still see that magic
    That once kept us in a true magical illusion”

  12. The poem must have been carefully written…….NICE!

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