Addled for the Last

Addled for the Last

The day for us to choose our governor.
The downpour was sudden and so heavy that it stripped the streets of animals; the flood carried soaked posters that bore now-familiar faces of people, who had only recently come around, begging for votes.

One bore the face of my ex-husband, Barr. Kofoworola, who was the gubernatorial candidate of his party – The People’s Banana. We got estranged from each other due to his incapability. I wondered how he intended to manage the affairs of a whole state.

The downpour didn’t discourage the electorates. As the rain poured, so did they pour onto the streets in droves to their respective polling stations to spend their votes as well as they wanted. Some were told how to, anyway!

Soaked to the knickers, I trudged along the path leading to the Famesi College Polling Station, undecided. The night before, I had entertained doubts as to how to spend my vote. But I had to put myself together and walk more decisively, when loyalists began to shout my name, “Dr.”, “the Chief”, “Mary Kofoworola”….

With that attention, I had to feign decisiveness. I approached the electoral officers, went through the required protocols, collected my ballot paper and went off to decide after inking my thumb, of course. I directed my ‘vote-empowered thumb’ to where Madam Just Aduke would have it, but stopped on a second thought.

I had contested as a gubernatorial aspirant on the platform of The People’s Banana, along with my ex-husband and three others; only to be dropped to allow my ex become a clear winner.

It was ridiculous but I had no choice! I cross-carpeted to the rival Megaton Party of Nigeria. There, I became the undisputed though unofficial leader. I called the shots!

I garnered massive support for Madam Just Aduke, the party’s gubernatorial candidate. Months before, she had won my vote and my loyalists’, whose number increased daily.

I never had the opportunity to critically compare notes on what each candidate had to offer until recently.

In my camp, right under my nose, were atrocities committed in the past that remained uncovered; and in the present that remained unchecked.

Aduke was complicit in the murder of the party’s strongest gubernatorial aspirant, Chief Majekodunmi. Her faithful husband, Olonikoko, who was sponsoring her campaign, had also been fingered in a number of unspeakable atrocities in the state.

On the other hand, my ex-husband, whom I detested greatly, had not much uncovered about him in the negative; maybe nothing, for now! Yet, it all boiled down to party allegiance.

To worsen the matter, Madam Just Aduke’s manifesto was written – not by me per se, but – by a cerebral university writer, who cared less about viability.

However, Barr. Kofoworola’s manifesto spoke volume about practicality. Again, it boiled down to personal interests. With the Barrister, I get nothing. But with the Madam, I get contracts, good pay and power.

I didn’t have to tell my thumb where to print, it swiftly covered with ink the space where the Barrister would have it, someone I detested so badly. In spite of that, I was greatly relieved!

Just about then, the Barrister drove in; throwing up dust as the tyres screeched to a halt. I made to go, at least with a smile dancing on my face. He passed by me without a wink and without a grin. Not even an acknowledgement of my stupid smile, which betrayed my long-suffering pride.

I went home satisfied, anyway; untroubled that I gave my vote to the opposition.



42 thoughts on “Addled for the Last” by Lakunle (@lakunle)

  1. Wondering if anyone can do this in Nigeria. A nice story. Enjoyed reading.

  2. Well, I honestly didn’t enjoy the first-person narrative. Then you seemed to have forgotten it had rained (or was still raining) when you mentioned “throwing up dust”. How come? *winks*

  3. Stimulating write up, notwtstandin d rain-dust conflict. Afterall I v seen a day wt a heavy rain in d Morning, and a very hot Afternoon. Nyc 1 Lakunle

  4. Koboko, a cursory read of paragraph 5 should reveal the timelessness of the story. Worse in Nigeria, I’m sure meeting electoral officers, going through required protocols and going off to decide definitely require more than a few minutes, within which time the whether could change many times. You don’t make fiction and life into Arithmetics!

  5. bore now-familiar faces of people, who had only recently come around, begging for votes.[THE PUNCTUATION MARKS ARE NOT NEEDED HERE]
    Months before, she had won my vote and my loyalists’, whose number increased daily.[THIS SHOULD READ: MONTHS BEFORE, SHE HAD WON MY VOTE AND THOSE OF MY SWELLING LOYALISTS???? just an opinion though]

  6. Xikay, thanks for the contribution. I’ll appreciate you check on the structure once more…

  7. I DID BRO …I AM NOT SAYING THE STORY IS NOT VERY INTERESTING, TRUTH IS I ENJOYED IT AND IDENTIFY WITH IT BUT I DO STICK TO MU GUNZ…SORRY WORDZ…WELL DONE SIRE LAKUNLE

  8. Nice story Lakunle keep it up.
    @king kObOkO you’ve not witness a day of heavy rainfall in the morning, sunny and dusty afternoon in the country before? the time interval says it all
    @Xikay he is not talking about the story, he is drawing your attention to what you feel was a mistake I think you need to read the story all over again may be you will be able to correct yourself about the punctuation marks.

  9. @AKBABA, ITS NOT THE STORY I’M TALKING OF BUT THAT PARTICULAR SENTENCE:

    The downpour was sudden and so heavy that it stripped the streets of animals; the flood carried soaked posters that bore now-familiar faces of people, who had only recently come around, begging for votes.

    CHECK OUT THE FIRST PAUSE WITH A SEMI COLON,…2ND WITH A COMMA AND THEN A 3RD ..WHAT STOPS THE LINE FROM READING THUS;
    THE DOWNPOUR WAS SUDDEN AND SO HEAVY THAT IT STRIPPED THE STREETS OF ANIMALS. THE FLOOD CARRIED SOAKED POSTERS OF NOW FAMILIAR FACES OF PEOPLE WHO HAD JUST ONLY RECENTLY COME AROUND BEGGING FOR VOTES.

    LIKE I SAID EARLIER, I STICK TO MY GUNS…REMEMBER THAT SIMPLE SENTENCES MAKE FOR EASIER READING ESPECIALLY IN A STORY AS SHORT AS THIS.

  10. @Xikay, you neva said there was anytin wrong wt d story and from what I know, fiction like poem does not necessarily entertain panelbeating, so why dnt we leav d punctuatn issues to d judges

  11. I must especially thank you all for your comments. Xikay, jaywriter, akeem, lancaster, senimycin, akbaba,

  12. I must especially thank you all for your comments. Xikay, jaywriter, akeem, lancaster, senimycin, akbaba and king koboko for your comments. The discourse has been exciting.

  13. @AKBABA, I JUST SHAKE MY HEAD AND WONDER IF THERE IS ANY KIND OF WRITING THAT DOES NOT NEED WHAT YOU CALLED ‘PANEL BEATING’,,,

  14. Nice work @Lakunle. I really enjoyed the story except that I had to step back once to be clear on some details and names.
    I ditto @xikay on the punctuation issues.
    But it’s a great story nonetheless.
    Nice work again @Lakunle!

  15. @Remiroy, tx 4 da comment. Ur concern is noted!

  16. Very nice story and narration… Any narration that encourages cohesiveness does it for me. As for the punctuation, I’d just say, it differs from writer to writer; even though we might agree on some. Dnt forget that its essence ranges from stop and pause (primarily), to grammatical issues. Above all, @Lakunle, nice work!

    1. Oga, nothing do u… U never should get tired of going over ur work sha…

  17. @Everybody let’s check it from this angle, can you be the judge in the competition you are participating?

  18. @AKBABA, WHY ARE YOU SO PARTICULAR ABOUT THIS POST?…I DON’T SEE YOUR COMMENTS ELSEWHERE…EVERYONE IS A READER/WRITER/CRITIC AND I BELIEVE WE CAN ALL MAKE COMMENTS AND BY THE WAY BEYOND THE COMPETITION, WE ARE ALL HERE TO LEARN…

  19. @Xikay I own myself and i comment on the post am interested in and where I will be able to gain more knowledge or is it your business where I post comment?

  20. I’m afraid my child ‘Addled for the Last’ doesn’t deserve this. Mind you, the elections we are all concerned abt require that we respect the opinion of the other man. @akbaba, i understand your concerns…. @xikay, I have long noted ur concerns too. I believe a work of fiction is like a creature, never perfect. It’s like the dna; specific to individuals, even d genetic errors. I’ll work more on it, anyway. We r all trying to improve. Once again, thank you all…

  21. @akbaba, its not a quarrel,..all of us have comments, negative or otherwise on our posts but you seem to be taking Panadol for another man’s headache.
    @lakule is not complaining….all the same sha, I AM SORRY SIR!

    @lakunle, you too gbaski jwor

  22. @Xikay, what if this akbaba is Lakunle in disguise? *winks*

    1. @King kObOkO, dat’s a grave accusation, forget the wink…

  23. @Xikay, you need to check your last comment to see blunders. The …before ‘i don’t see your comments’ is unnecessary.
    The … Betweem ‘elsewhere…everone’ should be better replaced with a fullstop.
    U wrongly repeated ‘and’ in d same sentence as in ‘…critic and i believe we can all make comments and by the way’.
    Also what happened to a comma that shd be so placed ‘by the way, beyond the’? the lesson here is dt we shd not fish out errors that we are worse at committing.

  24. @kingkoboko, do you think i have your own type of mentality?

  25. HMMMM, COME TO THINK OF IT….?!

  26. @AKBABA, COMMENTS ARE INFORMAL UNLIKE A CONTEST ENTRY…YOU ARE SO PATHETIC…I DOUBT IF YOU CAN EVER MAKE A MANAGEABLE WRITER

    1. What’s it with both of u? We need rules on this site fa!!!

  27. So na this story dey gallop dey go eh? Hehehehe. Not bad…not bad at all…

    1. Enuf gallop o…

  28. Another good one…..

    Well done!!!

  29. So much politics on a ‘justok’ story.
    I’m shocked
    @Koboko,lol
    @Xikay, leave these people

  30. The point of this story is very punchy- conscientious decision-making in the electoral process. Very well done

  31. well done Lakunle, I quite enjoyed this.

  32. Mazi Nwonwu (@Fredrick-chiagozie-Nwonwu)

    This is another story that I like very much. Way to go Lakunle.

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