The Youth of Today

The Youth of Today

Kaizo was bubbling with energy. He wasn’t going to waste time with these toy cops. Right or wrong, he was getting Rayvo out today. Yeah, he would “follow procedure” and stare at the feet of their ego as he stated his mission. And he’ll be convinced that it was heaven’s day off if they chose to deny him his request.

He flicked the trafficator switch so hard his heart skipped a beat, fearing it would break. That would spell trouble for him at the hands of The Patriarch and he wasn’t ready to go through that two times in a day. He swung the BMW to the right and then to the left and parked under one of the wide almond trees in front of Security H.Q. He stepped out and made his way to the entrance of the building. He tried to peer through the glass doors to see if he could recognize the officers on duty but the reflection of the setting sun threw its dull glare back at him, denying him sight. He went in with the swinging doors, walked to the front desk and stated his reason for coming.


Rayvo smiled sweetly as a waft of cool evening breeze came in through the high window and whispered softly across his face. He turned slowly and looked at Tolu on his left. Tolu was smiling sweetly too, eyes closed. There was a tranquil look on his face. Nodding his head as if in approval, Rayvo turned and looked at Doug on his right. Doug had his hands clasped together between his thighs while he rocked back and forth. He looked hysteric without sound. The thought seemed extremely funny to Rayvo: Hysteric on mute!

He got Tolu’s attention with his elbow and gestured with his head at Doug. They both tried in vain to stifle their laughter attracting Doug’s attention who snapped his head in their direction, eyes growing wide. His nose flared as he opened his mouth to speak. Another wave of humor hit Rayvo:

Hysteric on mute unmute!

He was also about to burst into laughter when someone’s harsh, raised voice exploded rudely into the room silencing whatever sound they were about to make. They reacted, all three of them; eyes wide open, with Dougs’ wider than theirs making contact with Rayvo’s while Tolu grabbed Rayvo’s thigh. Rayvo recovered quickly and slapped Tolu’s hand off his thighs.

That voice could only belong to one person!



Kaizo slammed a chunk of balled fist on the counter raising a thin cloud of dust in the process startling the elderly Officer Okoro who passed out some odorless gas from his anal port. The younger Officer, Osamu sneezed and blinked, looking up at the six foot plus figure of Kaizo.

“What do you mean you cannot release my brother until the CSO arrives?” Kaizo bellowed. “You said it yourself: he didn’t have any exhibit so what are you detaining him for?”

Both officers just blinked and looked at the heaving hulk of a figure before them. Officer Okoro decided he was getting too old for these energetic youth of today.  On the radio, the Jamaican reggae artiste, Culture, sang,

“..and if you fight against the youth man of today, blood a go run…”




Tolu and Doug stood up abruptly, simultaneously saying, “Kaizo!” Rayvo had resumed his sweet smile as he looked up at them. Tolu was ecstatic and yelled a triumphant “Yeaahh!” like he just scored the winning goal in some soccer finale. Doug on the other hand, berated Rayvo.

“What is Kaizo doing? This is no time to claim rights, man. We were caught with that stuff, you gave a silly excuse and now Kaizo is spoiling our chances of getting out of here-“

“Guy, chillax! Why you dey do like tight nyansh? Dem no see the stuff. Just stick to the story and let Kaizo bring the glory.”

Doug looked confused.

What? Which Glory?” he asked incredulously looking at Tolu for help. Tolu had stopped doing the yahoozee, his victory dance, and looked at Rayvo, who in Tolu’s own opinion was looking super cool with his droopy eyes. He was having trouble keeping his own eye lids up; seemed like someone had tied cotton buds to each eye lid.

“Glory.” He said dreamily, gave Rayvo a “high five” and both of them broke down into bubbling, belly deep laughter.

Doug shook his head sorrowfully as he looked at the two heaving, laughing bundles.

These two were certifiably high.


The Security Officers had finally agreed to release the boys when they discovered that Kaizo and Rayvo were sons of Dr. Esebemu. They knew the stern but beneficent doctor very well. Besides, they hadn’t found any evidence of incriminating substance with the boys; just that they had to take action as it was a senior lecturer that had called and informed them about some suspicious activity going on behind his apartment. The lecturer stayed on the first floor of the “Blocks of flats” that housed some of the University’s academic and senior non-academic staff and when he saw three boys walking into the bush, he alerted campus Security.

As Kaizo revved the six cylinder engine of the BMW 5 series and reversed out into the road, his mind ran over the recent turn of events.

He had been rudely roused from siester by a stinging slap which synchronized with a harsh “Kaizo!” that drove every trace of sleep from his eyes. He jumped up instinctively assuming the defensive stance of an Akido martial artist. Was it a “hit”? The sight of the expressionless face of the Patriarch made him relax somewhat but the smell of something that was totally burnt kept him alert, eyes searching around and beyond the room. Hungry and exhausted from a three hour lecture, he’d asked Rayvo, his younger brother to fry some yam for him. He’d undressed and flopped onto the bed promptly falling asleep. Now, Rayvo was no where to be found, the yam was obviously burnt and the Patriarch was watching him, as if waiting for an explanation. Kaizo started to say something, deciding to take responsibility for the misdeed (anything to keep the Patriarch from staying any longer in the Boys Quarters.) but the Patriarch stopped him with a raised finger and said calmly,

“Why don’t you wait until you get your own house…and son before you start practicing arson?” With that he turned around and left. Kaizo sighed and picked up his phone. It was just like the Patriarch to show how silly one could be with the simplest, way out analysis. Two missed calls and a text message…from Rayvo.


Rayvo had just put the second batch of yam into the pan of hot, bubbling vegetable oil and jumped back to escape the resulting splash when his friend, Tolu arrived. Tolu had brought some fresh green Weed (they preferred calling it Weed as opposed to Marihuana or morocco. Those were names that had criminal or kolomental implications). Now this was the first time they had come across freshly harvested Weed and the anticipation to “try” it was high. Grabbing his tee shirt he shouted at Kaizo that he was “coming” and joined his friend on the way to “Blocks” to get Doug. Unknown to Rayvo, Kaizo had fallen asleep and didn’t hear a thing that was said. Doug had come down from his apartment a little reluctantly and directed them to a spot where his parents or neighbors won’t see them enter the bush. They were about to start wrapping the Weed when they heard some crashing in the bush and whoever or whatever, it was heading toward their “spot”. When they saw the blue uniforms of the campus security, Rayvo had immediately split the Weed, threw one part into his mouth and gave the other to Doug who shook his head in refusal. Tolu quickly grabbed it and threw it into his mouth. Officer Osamu was the first on the scene while the other two officers surrounded the boys.

“What are you doing here?” Osamu barked.

Thinking quick, Rayvo said the first thing that came to his mind…through a mouthful of Weed,

“We’re students; we’re collecting samples for our project. We just stopped for lunch break.”


They all bust into raucous laughter, Tolu and Rayvo laughing the hardest, with the exception of Doug. They had arrived home and were sitting in the parked vehicle.

“Man, it’s not funny. How many maths student you don see for university wey dey enter bush because of project. Which kind lunch break be dat? Man no be so o.”

At this, they all bust into a fresh wave of laughter attracting the attention of the Patriarch who was watching through the window in the living room. They were probably laughing at Kaizo’s negligence: falling asleep while frying yam. The youth of today, so much energy and love for fun.

He couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing. God guide them, he thought, sighed and turned back to the newspaper he was reading.

10 thoughts on “The Youth of Today” by neo-lite (@markwealth)

  1. @neo-lite, your best dish here served with a lot of natural seasoning lol…WELL DONE…wow…the way you characterized these fellows made the story tick…Patriarch must be my dad, same action…as for the crazy dudes,..meeen that was sweet….
    your style of moving back and forth in time was cool with me….well done…i promise you some points

    you kinda confused me at at the beginning ALSO, you neglected the punctuation marks at the end of their speeches..?
    “What? Which Glory?”[?] he asked

  2. I ditto Xikay. Also, I think U meant Aikido instead of Akido. Some typos too. Siesta, not siester. Nice stuff though.

  3. This is like a film… Like an extract of a novel too… Well Done!

  4. Well done neo-lite, this surely indicates an improvement in your writing bro, I’m impressed.

  5. The writing is good and the story well structured, but I noticed some verbosity and use of language that was not consistent. Or maybe it is just that the guys are high?

  6. @myne, i just ignored it because the guys are high…high chaps dey misyan big time

    1. You know wassup! *toothy grin…much like yours*

  7. @xikay, i dnt understand. do u mean a comma after “what?”? thanx tho.
    @Raymond, thanx. i really didn’t think of “siesta” as a noun.
    @Idoko, thanx man. shows u’ve got keen imagination (like I)
    @Scopes, gee thanx dude.u gonna make me cry.
    @Myne,thanx but what kind of verbosity would u be talkin about.can u mention them, lemme see if i concur and improve or disagree and stamp my foot and fold my hands and put on a generally disagreeable expression.
    @xikay, do u also know the citizens of Verbo City?? ARE YOU ONE OF DEM?!!

  8. Personally, if the events in the story span just a few hours and dwell on a light, I think that using a non-linear chronological style (as you’ve done here) is overkill. Also, I think that instead of “who passed out some odorless gas from his anal port”, you could just have said “who broke wind” or even “who farted”.

    But i found the story amusing, especially where Rayvo and Tolu swallowed enough weed to find the idea of being on ‘hysterical mute’ hysterical.

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