The Storm

The Storm

When it came, it didn’t trickle down slow and labored like the tears that dribbled down my face, the rain came down with brute ferocity, Its sound drumming fiercely on the roof in excited chatter. lightning forked across the skies and thunder roared in a huge baritone that reverberated through my very being making me shiver as it reminded me of the harsh nature of my fathers temper. I walked slowly to the window and i could tell the rain was here in answer to the earths pain. I could feel the strength it exuded as i placed my shaking palm on the pane.

The usually busy street was deserted, even the old beggar who has made the corner his home was nowhere to be seen. Trees swayed hither and thither, bowing to the brute strength of the rain, it battered the small black kiosk beside the church, its rafter loudly creaked until its tin roof peeled off, flying away, humbled and left at the mercy of the wind.

I cringed away from the window, I thought of the pain that tore at my heart, my shoulders sagged heavily with the weight of a load i didn’t know how to bear.

I grew restless as the tired rain eased. In my seventeen years, never have i felt so at a crossroad. How can i leave so soon when i haven’t even lived. I watched the wind sway the drenched and tired leaves, minutes later they were standing tall and flaunting their beauty again. I watched a lovely rainbow unfurl across the skies in a perfect arc, slowly spreading dapples of beauty over the earth, Its shinning glow seemed to permeate the murky depth of my heart, it rode into my soul like a giddy horse to fire a spark that sent my pulse racing, i stared at the window pane and was shocked to see the trace of a smile eating away at the cobwebs of tired lines crisscrossing my face.

When the tears came this time, I let it fall freely. With it i mourned the death of my youth, the loss of my innocence and my naivety, I walked to my toilet bowl, flushed away every drop of the poison i have held onto for weeks, I opened every window in my room to a new lease of air and life.

As i descended the staircase to the living room where my parents were busy chatting, i rubbed my pregnant tummy, whispered a silent prayer for the life within me and prayed to God for strength to weather the storm that was coming.



20 thoughts on “The Storm” by Anda Damisa Lazywrita (@Anderson-paul)

  1. I like the way you saved the best for last, giving us the most important bit of information at the end. I did find some of the descriptions a bit tedious, but generally, its a good one.

    1. i see it now, thanks
      will work on it.

  2. Anderson darling! Your writing never ceases to give me pleasure…You are first and foremost a poet and that shows in your work.
    lines such as

    ‘i stared at the window pane and was shocked to see the trace of a smile eating away at the cobwebs of tired lines crisscrossing my face’

    ”Lightning forked across the skies and thunder roared in a huge baritone”

    ”I watched a lovely rainbow unfurl across the skies in a perfect arc, slowly spreading dapples of beauty over the earth, Its shinning glow seemed to permeate the murky depth of my heart, it rode into my soul like a giddy horse to fire a spark that sent my pulse racing”

    personally i feel that poets make better writers because most of them have a firm grasp of imagery…way to go love!

    1. i am glad you do like this one.
      thank you loadz

  3. @anderson, GOOD, GOODER and GOODEST….never saw it coming. Nice job this is.

    1. dont worry, a better one is on the way.
      thanks

  4. This is really good Anderson! I like how you carried the reader along until that final moment.

    1. yes, that was the idea
      glad you liked it.

  5. @scopeman, thats what caught me off-balance..

    i kinda have a problem with this:
    I cringed away from the window, I thought of the pain that tore at my heart, my shoulders sagged heavily with the weight of a load i didn’t know how to bear.

    jumbled?

    1. yes, i see it now
      kinda jumbled

  6. Good one. Absorbing.

  7. Lovely,very lovely Anderson.Xikay has spoken for me about the places i have issues with.

    well done!!!

    1. okay, i will work on that guys
      thanks

  8. I’ve always found your stories captivating and you have a very strong descriptive style. Thumbs up!

    1. oops, thanks
      coming from you, thats a big one.

  9. The story was a bit unpolished – there are places that you’ve used lowercase ‘I’, and the punctuation is a bit off – but you’ve used beautiful phrases in capturing the image of savage storm, like “… the rain came down with brute ferocity, Its sound drumming fiercely on the roof in excited chatter. lightning forked across the skies and thunder roared in a huge baritone…”

    And the ending was brilliant. Well done, and thank you, Anderson!

    1. thank you for helping to highlight the errors
      will do better next time.

  10. Wow.

    Nice one Paul. Nice one.

    I ditto Estrella’s observation(s)…poets have a firmer grasp of/on literary imagery than most.

    You do very well.

    1. Thanks bro, just exploring my talent and glad you all think its good

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