Of Death And A Whole New Life

Of Death And A Whole New Life

So you sit and wait, for what? You have no idea, just that you must wait. You sit at your desk, watching, seeing everything and everyone in a whole new light. Your colleagues move about, without the slightest inkling of what you are feeling right now. But what are you feeling?

Nothing.

Everything.

You smile at one colleague, nod at another. All around you is a buzz of activity; a beehive. But you are quite static.

You pick up a pen and doodle on a notepad; nothing important. You are just trying to pass the time, waiting for, what? You have no idea at all; you do not even realize that you are waiting.

Your mind suddenly begins to go back in time, automatically reviewing your life. Now you ask yourself, have I done the right things? Have I been a good person? What have people really been saying about me?

You want to know, so badly that it surprises you.

You look at your wristwatch, look up at the wall-clock on the wall to your right, and then you nod, as if the time is right. Pushing your chair back, you stand up and leave. Everyone you pass seems inconsequential to you, just part of the scenery. And now, your mind tells you, none of these matter anymore.

You stop and raise your hands slowly before your eyes. They don’t look like your hands anymore. You turn them slowly, scrutinizing them thoroughly, oblivious to all that is going on around you, oblivious to the stares you are drawing unwittingly. You hear something on your left, so close to your ear that you are startled and you turn to look.

‘Are you okay?’ a concerned voice coming from a concerned mouth on a concerned face asks. Nodding, you smile weakly, as if you have forgotten how to, and then you leave.

Outside the weather makes as much impact on you as water on stone. You make a bee-line for the gate, moving as though on autopilot. Once out of the gate, you stop, unsure of what to do next. Just then, someone calls you, somewhere from your right. Locating the caller, you begin to walk towards her, perplexed.

This is when a car slams with full-force into the wall directly behind you, just where you were seconds before. Shrieking, feeling like you are jumping out of your skin, you jump and turn at the same time, facing the wreckage. And you watch as another vehicle, a bigger one now, slams into the car, dislodging the hood, which spins, amid flying glass, shrapnel, screams, blood, and honking horns.

Your last thoughts are not really thoughts but questions-why did I come out here?

Your last sight is that of the passenger of the first car slamming head-first  on the steering wheel, blood and gore spraying everywhere, and you dimly ask yourself; was that a man or a woman?- as the hood spins towards your exposed neck, the sound of the spinning hood filling your ears…

……

…….

You sit and watch, not really knowing what you are doing. You just know you have been waiting. For how long? You have no idea; you just know that you have been here for a long time. You check your wristwatch, note the time. You wait for a little while.

And then you see yourself step out of the compound a few meters ahead of you. You see yourself stop. Perplexed, you call out. You watch yourself turn.

You look straight at you.

You begin to walk towards you, as you wait.

You see the car slam into the wall.

You hear the honking horns.

You are helpless, trapped in the confines of eternity…



36 thoughts on “Of Death And A Whole New Life” by Raymond (@raymond)

  1. I like this story… It shows that you really have a deep creative mind… I’m very okay with it but I can’t figure out what you were trying to pass across here… ‘…a concerned voice coming from a concerned mouth on a concerned face.’ were you trying to sound poetic or magical? ‘…from a concerned voice’ would just have been okay for moi… PEACE!

    1. @Idoko…Thanks. That phrase is to show that the MC…or U (hehehe) ok, d MC is disconnected from the world at the moment…

  2. Nice one Raymond, but a bit too self-indulgent, I think.

    1. @Scopeman…Thanks, but can U be more clear? I don’t understand what U mean by the piece being self-indulgent..
      Thanks again.

  3. @raymond, as a piece, this is WOW. well done, quite intricate. i think the dude died at last… he rambled into an accident and got a new lease of life…am i right?

    1. @xikay…Thanks boss. Glad U like it. As for the dude, which in my mind’s eye, was a lady actually, but I left that out. I like my readers to have their own pictures sometimes…
      As for the MC dying, well, that, also, is subject to interpretation…As for me, I have no idea. Perhaps he/she still walks this earth, or walks the Great Beyond…

  4. thumbs up.maybe i have to read again to spot errors,omissions and commissions.

    1. @neo-liteGood luck…ehehe. Hope U (don’t) find any

  5. @Raymond‘s @xikay, u didn’t leave out the fact that it was a lady: “Locating the caller, you begin to walk towards her, perplexed.” (par 11,last line. i counted single word paragraphs as one paragraph.) tho i had to read that paragraph again when i finished, had to, with a smile.

    1. Oh, that’s true. Thank U!!! It’s been quite a while since I wrote this story, so I forgot I added that.

  6. I dont really see this as a story really, it reads more like a poetic musing written in long hand. Your tenses were perfect and the pace was absorbing, two qualities every writer must have. You write well, and real well too!

    1. @banky…Wow, U think my tenses were perfect, n my pace was absorbing? I’m flabberwhelmed and overghasted…Hehehe.
      Thanks a lot for the compliments.
      And U are right. After writing this, I noticed it was more poetry than prose, but well, I’m just a messenger from that place where we all escape to.
      Thanks once again…

      1. @raymond, oh! na dis story!!! hehehehehehe. No comment.

        1. Hehehehe… Ok oh!

  7. oh gosh! i dont seem to get this,may be because am ust waking up or something,will come back to read after am finally wide awake….

    1. @posh…Please do and come back oh! Hehehe…

  8. @Raymond, This is a deeply psychological story. Extrasensory perception and precognition of what is to come to the lady (lad?) is also beautifully portrayed. He is alive (dead?) Wow!

    1. @jeffunaegbu…Thanks boss. Well, the MC is/was a lady. I’ve always been interested in the OTHER, and I had this story playing out in my head. I wrote it like I was in labour, which is how it usually is. As for being dead or alive, I have no idea….Maybe, just maybe…

  9. @raymond, good. the multiple interpretations makes it even more appealing..

    1. @xikay…Thanks boss! I appreciate.

  10. @neo-lite you’re very wrong, that place you are quoting is not the subject…

  11. i mean that is not about the subject

  12. Raymond ,you don start again, abi? Toying with my feeble mind like this.What I like most about this is the pacing really.The tin csatter my head, no be small.perhaps its the state of mind that i’m in now.

    Well done!!!

    1. Hehehehehe…Oga Lawal, sorry oh! Not my fault naa. The thing was messing with my head, so I decided to mess with yours too. Hehehe.
      Thanks for the compliments!

  13. A nice piece with a nice emotional side. Meet Joe Black comes to my mind. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Like the fact that it could be interpreted in lotta ways. Good one.

    1. Thanks bro. I appreciate it.

  14. Thank U all for Ur views. God bless U all, and God bless NS!!!

  15. I like this. Reminds me of a Stephen King story; talking about hell as being living and re-living your worst experience…

    I like.

  16. The MC is reliving his/her death? Or a premonition?
    I like that you left the reader to draw up his/her own conclusion. Leaves the imagination to wander.

  17. I felt the story was well written, but it felt rather insubstantial – there wasn’t enough material for me to really get into. If I’m going to read a really short story, it had better have a clear message (that’s one reason I tend to avoid poems that wander all over the place).

    1. @TolaO…Well, this is neither a poem nor a short story. Kinda like an in-between stuff. I wrote what I saw, as I always do. This was one of those rare ones that just happen to come out in their entirety. So, I gave U what I saw essentially.
      Thanks anyway for checking it out.

  18. It looks like I’ve been in the dark since. This good Ray. I choose to interprete it as a time travel thing, battling with the first experience, or have I been watching too many movies… Hehehe! This just popped an idea into my head right now. Let me see where it leads me.

    1. @francis, Thanks bro. Glad it gave U an idea…

  19. You know…I have a similar story like this I wrote some years ago. I never posted it ’cause i felt somebody may have written something with a similar theme. And here you are…I love the way you wrote it in third person.
    Brief sharp and precise.

    Nice!

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