Blood Stains

Blood Stains

Words exist that I never said

Feelings exist that I can never kill

Lines that I needn’t carve

Clear it is in my eyes

Boldly engraved on my fore

Emblazoned on my cheeks

Trapped within my inside

A past that has stayed till now

Yesterdays are over

Today is cooler

Yet the hurt is hot

No thing last forever

Not a hemorrhage of the mind

Through the day we thought things right

Into the night things turned trite

Audible silence everywhere

We heard more with a scream from nigh

When Uncle Mofe screamed his last

20 thoughts on “Blood Stains” by writefight (@writefight)

  1. The last line helped make the other lines much more appreciated. A good poem. Keep it up.

  2. I liked as you built up the tempo up to the last line, and I appreciate the rhyming too.

    Well done!!!

  3. Writefight, I’m starting to think u r more of a poet than a prose writer. Well done bro!

  4. Jay and Uncle Lawal…thanks plenty

    1. @ Writefight: Uncle lawal Ke? I never old reach like that o, abeg…
      @ scopeman: I think I have good reason to agree with you.

  5. Scopeman,Thanks.

  6. what a beautiful poem,writefight.

  7. very good poem, this is. well done

  8. Nice piece… This flows directly from the heart- could bet there was no interference…

  9. POWERFUL!!!! That’s all I can utter! Excellent choice of words too by the way.

  10. ..O! I am so so elated. Thanks everyone.
    @Lawal, you dont know what our grandparents tell us about people who correct us? “They are after your progress so always respect them…Unku at anti niwon”. That’s how you secured that humble sobriquet.
    xikay,Falomo,idoko,posh,Ray,Scopeman and Jay; ten infra-red kisses to each of you. Thanks

    1. ‘Ten infra-red kisses”

      Why does that sound cheap to me?!

      My father always told me…’never take a man’s word, a woman’s promise and a child’s tears. always demand hard evidence’.

      Me…I would want REAL kisses. Not even blue tooth ones!

  11. Nnenna-Ihebom (@Nnenna-Ihebom)

    This piece of poetry flows from somewhere really deep in the heart. I love the diction and flow, especially in the opening lines and the last few lines.
    ‘No thing last forever’ is one line i think you may want to take a second look at. Maybe ‘nothing lasts forever’.

    I enjoyed the rich images you used. kudos

  12. Nnenna, i am elated by your observations.
    ‘No thing last forever’, i intended that way. Thanx plenty.

  13. What can i say that hasn’t been said already?
    Very nice!

  14. WOW! very nice, i must say however that if the last line had been absent,the poem would have lost a lot…WELL DONE

    1. i read the poem again and i think i prefer it without the last line. without it, the poem gives me the impression of a love lorn fellow who cannot say the things of the heart and they live in AUDIBLE silence with the thoughts of love.

      the last line breaks the flow and tells me the silence is about someone about to die…I SEE NOW: why the first lines talk not of the emotion of love but grieving

      well done

      1. I agree Xikay. The last line broke the mystique for me.

        I would rather it had remained ambigous…but…

  15. Its a vivid poem. It feels like the griever is telling a story while she’s in shock….like she still can’t quite believe what happened.

    I like it. Well done.

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