NOTE FROM THE ‘NON-FICTIONIST’: If reading pidgin aches your eyes, I understand. Besides, it’s not really a popular genre. Click to this link [or copy and paste the link onto your website address system and press ‘enter’] to see the Facebook debate I got involved in, and concluded, nicely:- http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/topic.php?uid=78501702084&topic=8190.). So, I pray you enjoy this, hm?:
E get wan wite man film wey I get. If I mention de name, some of una go no am. De name na Basic Instinct. Inside dat film eh, e get wan time wey de main actress, Sharon Stone, wey be riter go tell de main actor, Michael Douglas, wey be policeman say her main persin 4 book wey she dey rite must die. If dat persin no die, dat book wey she dey rite no go sell.
Why de tin go be like dat? Tinz no dey ever dey betta at all so? My kontry peeple, na only bad bad tin we go dey get 4 mind so? Any time naija persin wan do good tin, una go talk say na wite persin im wan be. Na only wite persin sabi do good tin?
If Obasanjo and Atiku fite, e no go ever concern us. Dem impeach Fayose and Obi from govment, but how dat go ever concern us? Education minister chop money, Balogun chop money, dem kill Dokubo, dem kill Bola Ige, dem kill Funsho Williams, dem dey tretin politishan dem wit bomb. But we no dey do na-tin! Okay, plane go kpeme 4 air, motor go dagbaru 4 road, boat go capsize 4 water, and na wetin we do? We just talk like parrot.
De small small tinz wey I dey rite go show una say I myself no be betta persin, but I no like bad tin. Many many tinz dey happen 4 dis obodo naija wey tire me well well. So so 419 brekete! I no see hope 4 good tin to come. Make we no pretend say tinz dey good wen tinz dey bad. Oga Fela go say:
Suffer suffer 4 world
Na your fault be dat
Me I say
Na your fault be dat
Eedris Abdulkareem go say:
Nigeria jagga jagga
Everywhere scatter scatter
Poor man dey suffer suffer
No be surprisation say we wey dey 4 dis obodo naija no wan good tin. E dey even dey shame me sef. E get plenty time wey I dey tink bad bad tinz myself. But I no dey happy inside. Wen I dey rite small small about myself dey give una if I dey talk about issues, I dey show una say I wan betta 4 myself and 4 my kontry.
My kontry peeple, na only wan way we go dey go? Why we no dey allow good persin to grow? Bad bad tink-tink dey bring 4ever headache, o! E no good, o! De peeple wey dey go church brekete wit no solution, e be like say una don disturb God too much, even though God no dey complain. But if Im complain so, son-tin bad don happen. Dodge, o!
Na only bad bad tinz una wan to dey hear every time. If Obasanjo go tief money from London con bring am 4 naija, we go say yes, before nko? Na tief man we get as President. If Ken Nnamani go give woman belle 4 outside, we go say no be surprisation, na fat man im be before. If state govnor carry koboko flog im wife because she no gree give am baby boy, we go open mouth sote we no go no wen moskito go enter collect blood wey im dey look 4. African China talk say:
Mr. President, lead us well
If you be governor, govern us well
If you be senator, senate am well
If you be police, police well well
No dey take bribe
Make I speak English small: It is not only the leaders the koboko is meant for whenever they misyan. If I see bad tin, if I hear bad tin, I no go dey happy. Dat tin go vex me, I no go sleep well 4 nite. I wan try make I no tink bad tin do dat tin. Una no go try?
Dis na my tory. Plenty peeple don talk dis talk, but make I remind us. Abeg o! No be only bad tin dey 4 naija, o!