I wrote my first prose on NS here after some musing from an NS lady. This one is my second prose, also mused by NS ladies. I would like some ‘horrible’ comments that’ll either make me stop writing prose or make me put in more effort. For newer members who have not read ‘Seeing Off Kisses’, please do read it. Thanks guys.


‘Hey’, he heard that voice again and turned. There she was. The only word worthy enough to describe her was perfect.

‘You came’, he replied nervously.

‘I said I was coming, didn’t I?’, she said and melted him with that same smile. Why does ‘same’ even come into the smile, he wondered..

He was drunk the night he posted an update on facebook about his desire to get a new muse. Stella had replied that update volunteering to be the muse. They hadn’t been friends for a long time on facebook so he didn’t know what to make of her reply. From one joke to another, here he was standing at the entrance of Hotel Presidential not knowing what next to say to his new ‘muse’. They keep staring at each other until Stella’s phone rings. Stella brings out her phone from her handbag and goes to a corner. He sees this as a chance to do a little thinking.

Instead of thinking what to say next, he begins to wonder why he had agreed to meet Stella in the first place. But he didn’t agree. They had become “facebook spouses” after she volunteered or applied for the ‘muse’ job. They had to tell each other what they were doing all the time. So he had told her he was going for some literary festival and she had decided to come too as the festival was happening just one state away from her. Now, he was regretting telling her.

‘That was my mum’, she interrupts his thoughts.

They keep quiet again for some minutes probably waiting for who would say something first.

‘We can at least go inside. At least we came for a festival, right?’

‘That’s right’, he smiles as they walk inside.

He turns immediately as the bathroom door open to see Stella… just standing. The sparkling wet white towel barely covered her ass. He just kept staring. His hazy thoughts went far, wide and crazy.

They day’s literary event had ended. Stella had told him of some free rooms in the three star hotel she was staying and suggested he took a room in the hotel too. He agreed and went with her. They found out all the hotels were booked when they arrived at the hotel. Stella quickly suggested they stayed in her room for the night and here he was sitting on the bed, looking at ‘Halle Berry stroll out from the ocean after that swim in that James Bond movie’. Only that instead of wearing a bikini, his ‘Halle Berry’ has just a short towel wrapped around her – which was actually better and sexier than the bikini.

Stella chuckles. ‘Stop staring at me like that. You are making me shy.’

‘I think I am missing something here’, he stammers.

‘What are you missing?’, Stella says laughing.

He walks up to Stella. He holds her face with both hands and stares deep into her eyes. Something snaps in both of them almost immediately. He turns Stella and takes of her towel. He squats down and studies her ass carefully. The stretch mark designs are perfect. He falls in love that moment with the tiny stretch marks. He stands up again and faces Stella again.

‘You’ve got lovely stretch marks’, he whispers.

She smiles.

‘Can I kiss you?’, he whispers again.

Stella studies him carefully. She is very surprised but manages to mutter a reply. ‘Can you?’

He kisses her. Stella responds perfectly. As they kiss, he touches her ass like one following a pattern. Stella ‘wakes’ up all of a sudden. She hadn’t expected this. She hadn’t expected them to be this ‘connected’. She hadn’t expected to connect at all. She pulls away from him and quickly ties the towel round her chest.

‘It’s em… still too revealing’, he says as he sits on the bed.

Stella picks up her night wear and goes into the bathroom. She comes out after a while and sits beside him. They both keep silent for minutes.

‘Sweet dreams’, he whispers.

‘You are supposed to be gay’, she says.

He studies her closely. ‘Uju’s friend? I knew we had met somewhere before. That smile.’

‘So did you stop being gay?’

‘I was never gay.’

‘Uju said you were.’

‘I told her I was. I wasn’t.’

‘You are.’

‘Okay. I am. Satisfied?’

‘Yes. Good night’, Stella says angrily and goes to bed.

He walks to the switch and turns off the light putting the room into darkness. Stella cannot seem to understand why she is angry or who she is angry at. This was supposed to be a research for an article she was writing for her column. Her boss had recently discovered her husband was gay. She goes a little crazy and orders her twenty something columnists each to write an article on gay men. Stella had suggested writing something about spending a night with a gay man. Her boss didn’t know what she would really come up but she told her to go on.

And her she was lying in the dark with someone she had believed was gay but somehow felt deep inside he wasn’t. She was not even sure if she hadn’t fallen in love with him. She had kept telling Uju that she wasn’t having any ‘side’ feelings for him. Right now, with how she felt during the kiss, how she was feeling now, she wasn’t sure she could truthfully say that to Uju again. She just couldn’t just sleep like a coward, she said to herself.

‘You are not really gay, right?’

He goes and turns on the light. They both seem to now see each other in a new light.

‘I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I would tell you if I was.’

Stella knows there is surely something amiss. She wasn’t sure she was with the right person. He seems to be reading her thoughts at this point.

‘I loved Uju then”, he said casually.

Stella laughs sarcastically. ‘That’s very easy to understand. When you love someone, you tell them you’re gay. It totally makes sense.’

‘I had a girlfriend then.’

Stella keeps quiet for a while studying him.

‘Okay, it makes sense again. Have one girlfriend and tell other female friends that you’re gay.’

He stands up and paces around the room. He stops, tries to talk but can’t seem to. He goes and lies down. He gets up again and looks at Stella.

‘Okay. Here’s the story. Uju had a boyfriend but things weren’t really working out. I play the part of the behind-the-scene-boyfriend. Uju and her boyfriend file for ‘divorce’ almost at the same time Tonia shows up. Okay. I dump Tonia and go with ‘dumped’ Uju. That wouldn’t be fair to Tonia. So I stay friends with Uju… dumped Uju. Now Uju tries to rebound on me… with me… don’t know which is appropriate but you get the point. I don’t want to make her feel bad so I…. Okay, I am in her room with her. She starts coming on me the normal way… I ignore that… She comes at me like even a fool will know… So the gay line comes in… She says I don’t think she’s pretty enough… She was crying… Not because of me, I know… Just because she just got dumped… Do I dump her too? She’ll cry more. So I became gay that night and stayed gay. Making her promise not o tell any other person. So, you know now. Broke up with my girlfriend some months back. She moved to the West. We’re not really into the long distance shit.’

They both keep quiet for a while.

‘Say another word if you want us to complete our little kissing scene. Otherwise, just say ciao when I leave tomorrow morning’ he says and turns off the light again.

They are sleeping like James Bond and the last Bond girl James Bond usually ends up with. Stella wakes up after a while. She releases herself from his arms and climbs out of bed. She picks up her mobile phone and goes to the bathroom. He opens his eyes smiling. There’s something about him that shows he has fallen for the girl. He wasn’t exactly in love with her. But it was something that needs little work to become love. He was hearing her speaking to someone on the phone.

Stella opens the bathroom door with a sad look on her face. He notices this. She is listening to her ‘callee’. He was again confused. Then she smiled. He could still notice her sadness even with the smile on her face.

‘He’s not gay too. And he loves you. Make sure you call him. Okay?… Bye.’

Stella drops the phone on the bed. They stare at each other realizing love might be around the corner for them. They could have continued staring at each other the whole day if Uju hadn’t called almost immediately. Stella tells him to answer with a nod and a wan smile.

10 thoughts on “Juagle-E” by Jaywriter (@jaywriter)

  1. Only one advice – don’t stop writing prose. Just keep practising and getting better. Okay, that’s two, lol

  2. Jay, this is good, no doubt. There are a few typos though.You can only get better like lade has commented.

    As an aside: Which kain friend go do that kain ‘sacrifice’ for im friend.This your MC is having or have had the best of both worlds o!

    Well done!!!

  3. You definitely have to work on your tenses. You were switching between present tense narration and past tense. Nice story though. With time, if you keep practicing, you’ll be better.

  4. It was quite enjoyable Jay…But I am curious to know why you chose the phrase ‘File for divorce’ they were not even married..

  5. It was a nice story Jay.I like the plot, the way the feelings are developing and the reference to a movie.Just few things I would like to point out:
    -the tense shift,probably because of the screen writing.
    -strech marks on her back? Not sure about this one.
    -I got confused when you wrote “She had kept telling Uju….”.How long has Stella known him?Did she like him when he was friend with Uju?
    Keep writing stories.I can’t wait to read the next one.

  6. Too linear, no character depth, trivilization of an important subject matter like sex…and homosexuality for that matter. But for all that, still a praiseworthy effort. Like a previous comment mentioned, you need to work on your tenses. Next time, choose the one you want to go with and stick with it!
    Finally, you need to develop a sensitivity that must reflect in your writing. Good writing normally evokes pretty strong emotions in the reader, e.g. anger, pity, disgust, admiration, etc. If your story leaves your reader unmoved, then it’s like a bus that’s yet to warm its engine: the journey hasn’t begun! No doubt you have the makings of a good writer – just work on it.

  7. Great idea, would have been excellent except for a certain lack of emotional depth and the jumbling of tenses. I loved your descriptions and the way the syory unfolded. Not bad, just needs tweaking .

  8. Ditto all above.You MUST NOT stop writing prose,you write in pictures cos you are a screenwriter and that has its minuses and pluses too. I enjoyed the story and you do write well.

  9. Great story. Great great story.

    The tense thing was a small issue but once you got into it…it just flowed.

    Keep writing stuff mah man…this is good.

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