Monologue

Monologue

I am pregnant.

For a married man.

There, I’ve said it, out loud for all to hear. For every individual I have ever met to have their fill; raining curses and abuses on me.

For my mother to weep and ask “Why Temitope? Why?” Like I can answer that question!

For my father to shake his head and look at me with disgust “ One would have thought that after seeing what your older sister Oluwatomi went through as a single mother, you would have resolved never to end up like her!”. And what exactly is that supposed to mean Papa? I love my sister, and I think she’s made a huge success of her life, despite everything she and her son have gone through.

Anyway, I have no plans on telling them, or anyone…except the girls of course. And I can already imagine what their reactions would be.

“Temitope, you’re joking of course” Sade would go

“It’s not April yet oh, my dear” Isioma would say

“Its Gbenga’s right?” Halima, ever the perceptive one would say.

And all hell would break loose.

“You are not serious Temitope! Didn’t we ask you to ditch the married ex ages ago?!” Sade would exclaim

“Everyman wants to eat his cake and have it Temitope, how could you have let him use you like that?” would reason Isioma

“You girls should go easy on her; do you think she planned this? Everyone makes mistakes” Halima would say

“Mistake?! Mistake my foot! Did she open her legs by mistake? Or he used pliers to pry them open?” Sade would retort

“Haba Sade! No need to be so crude now” Halima would try to pacify her

“But you girls, on a more serious note oh, shey you know ex-sex is always sweet? I don’t blame Temitope for getting carried away oh!” Isioma would joke

And we would all burst out laughing, and then, they would help me choose the best way to get rid of it. Yes, get rid of it, because, that’s what I’m going to do.

There’s NO WAY I’m having a baby right now! Besides, it won’t be fair on the child to grow up not knowing his or her father, to have to live with the shame that he or she was born out of wedlock.

Ok, I admit, it’s mostly because I’m ashamed, and also afraid of what people would say. I just got a new job with an international company, and I really can’t ask for maternity leave yet, especially as I’m not married. My parents will be so disappointed with me, and I can’t bear to see the look of disgust on my uncle’s face when I tell him. He has so much faith in me!

Oh Lord! What have I gotten myself into?! Why couldn’t I have resisted Gbenga? Why can’t I turn back time and undo what has been done? Why, oh why do I still love this man?! Why can I not break whatever threads tie us together? He is married to someone else – a woman he chose over me, so why does he still need me? Why is it so important to him that we remain friends? Why can’t he just go away and leave me alone to get on with my own life?! Why, oh why?!

I’ve cried myself hoarse over this matter, and I am not going to do that anymore. I’m going to get an abortion, and I’m getting on with my life! There’s an opening in the Abuja branch, and I’m going to ask my boss for it. I need a new city, new life, and a new man. All in that order!

Ouch! My stomach! What was that? Ow!

What…? Dear Lord, is that a foot?

No, no, no, no, no, I can’t keep you. It’s no use kicking me my dear, I cannot keep you! It would be unfair to us both to even think of it. Ow!

Stop it! Can’t you understand?! We’ll both be outcasts! Shamed by my lack of self-control during a fleeting moment of passion!

Please stop, I wish there were some other way, but there isn’t.

What? Of course I’ve prayed! If you were listening well, you would have heard me crying out to The Lord a few minutes ago.

What do you mean I’m giving up and not trusting The Lord? Of course I trust Him, I’m just….
You’re right, I’ve already decided to take the easy way out without allowing Him show me the path my life is to lead. I remember when my sister Tomi became pregnant in school, she went crying to Grandma and Grandma wiped her tears and told her that whenever our need is greatest then the Lord’s help is closest to us. But because we don’t trust Him, we never see the help, even when it’s standing right in front of us.

I’ll keep you my child, and the Grace of the Lord will keep us both. Remember however, that I warned you; things will not be easy at all!



19 thoughts on “Monologue” by DoreenMaria (@DoreenMaria)

  1. Hmmmmmmmm
    very nice and impressive.

  2. Beautiful. I like the musings of the MC and the tense usage. Well done!

  3. Wow, nice one Doreen, and where are you at? I want to read more of your works. One thing though, If the pregnancy is in the very early stages will the baby’s feet be kicking like you depicted?

  4. Good one. The message’s quite clear. Just that the girl didn’t act as intelligent as she sounded. Good plot, good story, good use of imagery, good choice of words too. The simplicity also worked. Good one.

  5. yea, ditto @jaywriter about the girl not being as intelligent as she sounded.
    good story all the same.

  6. I must commend the brilliance displayed in this story. You did it so well. Note Mercy’s observation however. Well done Doreen!

  7. I really like the story Doreen but by the time you actually feel the baby kick, the pregnancy is far along and 1)it would be hard to conceal it,2)you can not get an abortion anymore. Maybe you could replace the kick by movement.It’s more like a flutter but she could realize the reality of her baby the same way and make the same decision.

  8. I really like this Doreen. You are good.

  9. Ditto @Jef.
    Nice one. I look forward to reading more of your work.

  10. beautiful,thank God she decided to keep it,very vivid and self explanatory

  11. This is very nice,great concept too.
    I would love to read more of your works.

  12. This is a good one.You should mind Jef’s comment, and i loved the tense usage too.

    Well done!!!

  13. That this intra personal conflict ended in a denouement which message abhors abortion makes this work a reference point in Pro-life literature.U’ve explored a serious theme and managed it well.Kudos

  14. Awww! I really like this. You managed your tenses well and passed your message effectively, that’s why I’m particularly sad about the ‘kicking pregnancy’ oversight, that others have helped point out. Very fine all the same.

  15. Ditto Mercy and Tee.
    But this is good. I love the tenses and everything else.
    Well done!!!

  16. Hello everyone, thank you for all your beautiful comments and observations.
    About the baby’s movement; According to http://www.babycenter.com, babies start moving from 7 – 8 weeks into the pregnancy, although most women don’t feel the kicks until 16 weeks or thereabout.
    On a personal note, I had a cousin who didn’t look a size bigger than 3 months pregnant, right up to the day she put to bed!
    So its very possible for a woman to be pregnant and not show, or feel the baby moving until she’s about 12 weeks along.
    In this story, Temitope is about 13 weeks pregnant, and like someone commented, the baby’s movement helps make the situation REAL for her, and it dawns on her that shes carrying an actual human being in her stomach.
    Once again everyone, thank you very much for all your wonderful comments! I REALLY appreciate!

  17. @Doreen,I understand what you are saying.Pregnancies are all different.However,I have children and I can tell you that in order for the kick to hurt like it does in the story,the feet have to be big enough.This is not the case at 13 weeks when the baby is about 3-4 inches.The first movements are like flutter,you are barely able to feel them.Your story is great like it is but if you want it to be realistic,the movement of the baby can not be that strong.

  18. Point noted!
    once again, thanks for your wonderful comments!

  19. How right the grandma in the story is…we don’t see God’s help right in front of us because we don’t take it.I enjoyed reading this story.You’re a good writer that much is obvious…

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