the BREAKING…

the BREAKING…

“Take off your clothes,” he commanded.

Then he walked to the door, locked it and put the key in his pocket. He turned to me again and screamed, “I thought I asked you to take off your clothes!” I shivered terribly. What was I to do? I was only twelve years old. He came closer towards me. I moved backwards, until I hit the wall. He smiled an evil smile as he unbuckled his belt. I looked around swiftly,searching for a way to escape. I found none.

He was done with his belt now. I clung to the curtain that hung down from the wall. He beckoned on me to lie on the bed; I moved my head slowly from left to right in disagreement. He beckoned on me again, this time with a frown on his face; I repeated the movement of my head. He approached me and I held unto the curtain tightly, hoping that I would disappear, or maybe become invincible at the least. When I didn’t disappear or become invincible, I started crying. The tear drops were warm and salty; I tasted a little as it got to my lips.

He was right in front of me now; he placed his hand on my shoulder and I screamed. I knew no one would come to rescue me, as there wasn’t anyone else home, but I screamed. The slap to my cheek that followed was hard and swift, I almost cut my tongue in-between my teeth. He grabbed me and flung me onto the bed. The actions that followed were rapid. He got on top me and threatened that he’d kill me if I screamed again. I sobbed intensely but quietly as he ripped my shirt and tore my skirt. The tears were hotter now. I pleaded passionately but they fell on deaf ears.I felt something snap deep beneath as he pierced himself inside me. I screamed again, this time even louder. He punched me in the face and pierced me even harder. Each thrust was more painful than the previous. I tried to scream but I couldn’t, his hand was firmly pressed against my mouth. He continued piercing until my walls broke and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. I thought I would die. I almost did. He ravaged me like a beast and I moaned deeply, out of horrifying pain. I bled as he tore me open- I was only twelve years old.

Cursed be the womb that gave life to such a man. How will I tell the world that was raped by my own father?
As he walked out of the room, along with my dignity and pride of purity, I knew his stench of shame remained to last forever.



53 thoughts on “the BREAKING…” by Scopeman (@scopeman60)

  1. @scopeman60, a very good one here, and the words flowed with rhythm. “I knew that his stench of shame remained to last forever”. Deep. It looked real, like it actually happened to you. But you’re a guy so that’s impossible, right? Wow, the gift of writers to give a picture of the pain of others. Well done.

    1. Thank you Marya, and yes I’m a guy so it didn’t happen to me, but I can relate quite well with the experience.

  2. Allow me to vent some rage and disgust – %*!@&*%&!!!
    That should tell you how well you wrote this.

    1. lol.. Your rage is legitimate. Thank you Lade.

  3. WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TODAY TO PUT UP SUCH DEPRESSING STORIES?!?!?!

    WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO WRITE SUCH DEPRESSING STORIES?!?!?!??

    I AM ANGRY AT YOU…BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS…WE DON’T NEED IT BEING SHOVED IN OUR FACES AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY. WE DON’T NEED IT!!!!!!

    I KNOW IT’S LIFE. I JUST…

    REMEMBER…YOU’RE A MESSENGER. DON’T LEAVE YOUR READERS FEELING EMPTY AND ANGRY AND SAD…ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WITH SOMETHING…LEAVE THEM WITH HOPE!!!!

    SIGH. THAT WOULD SHOW YOU JUST HOW MUCH THE STORY GOT TO ME.

    VERY WELL WRITTEN.

    1. I’m really very sorry Seun, I actually sent this to be published here on NS a while ago, I don’t know why they chose to post it today. I apologise, seriously.

      1. I understand…and like i said…it’s VERY WELL written.

        I just…

        Thank you for even bothering to apologise.

        1. Thank you Seun. I am concerned about how my works affect the readers.

          1. @Scopeman makes me remember an experience someone confided to me. It is horrible, very horrible what people do to themselves.
            Yes, the story was depressing. But what the heck….the one that was written by @Ekwee (i fink) is even more depressing- just like this one, that one too got to me but my reaction – this is life and shit happens.

            @Seun legit points but then again SHIT happens!

            Fyne work man!

  4. That Curse was not causeless, so it wili definitely come!
    vivid emotions you created here.
    well done!

    1. Thank you Remi, and Congratulations on coming 2nd in the Contest. Kudos!

  5. I echo Seun…this was very depressing to read, showing that you did a good job of capturing the emotions….

    1. And to think that this is but the diluted version of the real story. Anyways, my intention was to get people to be aware of activities like this and work hard to curb it.

      1. Hmmm… work hard to curb what, @Scopeman60? ‘This’ will never end, ok? Read this, please, and read it carefully, anyone who is interested enough to, hm: http://www.naijastories.com/2010/06/a-rape-of-peace/, and my ‘vengeful’ reply to that may be found here: http://www.naijastories.com/2010/06/we-were-at-it/, depending on the ‘responses-cum-interpretations’, hm? Even men get raped by women as well. I heard of an incident where a cute little boy wanted to visit a girl in all girls’ school, and the girl in question set this boy up alongside her sex-starved girlfriends. When those girls were through with him, he was almost ‘finished’. I took time to cushion this on my FB notes – http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=148433432990#!/note.php?note_id=493554542990, which further ‘illustrates’ what I’m saying. :) I could remember vividly the angry outburst one of my former ogas made, the Sunday editor of The POINTER Newspaper here in Asaba [an elderly man with the appearance of a young man] when I told him I was a rape victim: The man deserves to be castrated, for he is so less than a man for engaging himself in that beastly act. He has an inferiority complex. God, he has even crippled MY own manhood. (Well, I didn’t really put this in speech marks sha because those weren’t actually his words. I just summarised it.)

        1. Gals and guys, Facebook dey kolo sometimes, eh. Let me kukuma post de FB note here, but if you can still find it with the link I’ve provided, all good and fine [http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/emmanuella-nduonofit/sexual-harassment/493554542990]:
          “I got more enlightened about sexual harassment when I watched the film DISCLOSURE acted by Michael Douglas and Demi Moore. That film made me realise that a woman could be every bit as abusive as a man. In that film, the woman seduces the man outright, pressing her body against him and massaging his penis, and many times the man said no. It took his willpower to pull out of that seduction. His lawyer told him this eye-catching statement: Sexual harassment is not about sex; it’s about power. She has it. You don’t. I totally agree with that statement. A man or woman has to be in a position of ‘power’ before he or she abuses it. But it is always known that the man does the harassment more than the woman because the man is always in a position of ‘power’. The woman uses body language. One can spot the difference between a woman who is naturally beautiful and a woman who is deliberately beautiful. But I want to ask: Do most, if not all, kinds of sexual harassment lead to rape?”

        2. @Emmanuella, I read both stories u recommended. I am short of words. I can’t say that I know how u felt/feel, because clearly, I don’t. All I can say and what I perceive from many of our interactions, is that, you turned out to be a strong lady. May other ladies out there draw strength from ur story.

  6. Very well written, Scope (can I call you Scope? Lol). Well done.

    1. lol.. Scope sounds fine. Thank you.

  7. JESUS CHRIST,how sadddddd.Man you’re damn prolific

    1. You really think so? Thanks though.

  8. well done scopeman …

    1. Thank you Boomingsols, glad I didn’t depress you too.

  9. This is very good scopeman.Your ability to capture so much with few words is a quality I’m noticing in your works and that I like very much.
    I also like the progression of the story.

    1. Thank you Lawal, I’m glad you liked it.

  10. Depressing like they said. Was the dada drunk or what? Good work. @seun, stop crying okay?

    1. I don’t know o, Jaywriter, I think he took some mind uttering substance. Pèlè Seun and all who were affected by this story.

    2. E BE LIKE SAY YOU NEED PRESIDENTIAL SLAP…YOU DIS YEYE CHAMPAGNE MANAGER!!!!!

      1. I beg ur pardon, who needs ‘Presidential Slap’? Me or the MC’s crazy father?

        1. Trust me scope; you’ll know if its for you. lol

          1. I still need Seun to make that clear himself.

  11. Well, the above comments definitely captured how i felt when i read this.
    I’ll refrain from repeating same but I will say, this is a powerful piece.
    Well done!

    1. Thanks Abby, glad u liked it.

  12. WHOA!!! I haven’t been on this site for a while now, and this is what I get for a welcome gift? THIS IS SICK AND DISGUSTING (I meant that in a good way by the way. Wait is there a good way to say that?) But anyways WOW, this IS vivid imagery. Keep writing like this, but stories like, not too often. WOW. I feel like throwing up, honestly. That’s how you know you’re a great writer, when your audience feels like what is being depicted is happening directly in front of them.

    1. I quite understand how u feel man and I am sorry about that, but the truth of the matter still remains that crazy shit like this happen in our society, a few days ago it was even on the news about a father who got his daughter pregnant and wanted her to abort it.
      My intent was to enlighten people of this reality and work hard to eliminate or may be just curb such anomalies.

      1. Yeah, I read about that story too. I prefer stories like this that deviate from the norms in a way and depicts realism (things that actually do happen in our society, you know, things people refuse to talk about and stuff) I was complementing you on the vivid depiction of this particular event in case you didn’t catch on to my sarcasm, haha. Remember someone was questioning if this actually happened to you? That’s how real the story is. Kudos. Like I said, Keep writing LIKE this (the style).

        1. Thank you very much Ayokunle! You are a brilliant writer.

  13. Awesome story dude…the fact that you have a lot of the readers expressing sheers disgust shows that you did your homework quite well! I felt as horrified and disgusted as the rest of the crew…You’ve got an amazing way of telling a story that just sucks you right in! well done!

    1. Thank you Estrella! I’ll keep working hard.

  14. I got the same reaction as the others. And am happy we all see this from a literary angle rather than a moral one. I think am in the right writing community! Yay!
    @Scopeman powerful stuff!

    1. Thank you AnnaBella! I’ve seen your post on the group “Never Ending Story”, I really liked it. I’m working on the next part already.

  15. One thing I like here is your descriptive power. Nice. You do it quite well, however the subject matter of this story seems to be common in many stories today.

    Still, you did a good job painting the picture. I’d love to see you do a story that’s different and not like what everybody would think of. With your descriptive power I know you’ll drop something solid!

    1. I’ll get to work immediately, thank you Afronuts!

  16. so so so sad. nice one but saddening..fact is: IT HAPPENS EVERYDAY

    1. yes xikay, and we should do our bit to see to it that it stops.

  17. we all have a part to play, little as it may be

  18. I felt nauseous when I read this…..and that’s a good thing because it means you were able to draw me in!

    It takes skill to keep the reader’s interest…even when the issue being addressed is so sordid…..You definitely have that skill!

    Well done!

    1. thanks Naijamum!

  19. Brilliant piece scopeman, very brilliant.

    1. thank you village maiden, some actually doubted my gender after reading this, did you?
      I like ur name by the way, maybe u may become NS maiden soon, hm?

  20. Well written Scopeman… But not so pleasant to read. Such men desrve no mercy for creating a scar that will never heal.

    1. Thanks Petra. You should the sequel to this piece, ‘The Morning After The Breaking’. Cheers!

      1. @ Scopeman: I’ll look forward to it then.

        1. It’s already published here on NS, you can search for it.

Leave a Reply