Ninja

Ninja

The old man lifted the mahogany pipe from his mouth and sucked in a deep raspy breath; coughing in spurts and choking back muck at the base of his throat. He ran thin bony fingers over his bald head and pulled on his long grey beard.

The silence grew deeper, he waited.

A shadowy figure crept up the vine covered wall and slipped in through a large window. He moved stealthily through the dark room and cracked the door open an inch. A hush settled in the castle; no one came in nor went out.

The shadowy figure waited.

The same hush whooshed past the old man from the left; he cocked his head to the right and waited.

The figure pulled out a long white rope and a sword from the strap on his shoulder. He unsheathed the sword and swished it about. It caught a few rays of the moonlight and glimmered wickedly in the thick darkness. One silent step after the other, he inched his way through the long corridor down the marbled staircase. His heart raced within him as he neared his target. He took a deep satisfied breath and ran his tongue over his lips. He could smell blood or even taste it. He swiped a hand over his sweat beaded forehead and pressed on.

The old man leaned back on his chair, knitted his fingers together and waited.

The figure rounded the corner and sighted a humped shadow in the distance. A few more paces and he’d have his revenge. The mother of all revenge! A live bait just for him. All for his taking. He flexed his biceps and let them ripple. He imagined his strong arms moving the blade in a clean swipe through the flesh and cartilage.

The old man took a deep breath and waited still.

The shadowy figure moved closer to his target. The humped shadow remained still. He gripped the sword tightly and held it up. In a few more seconds it would be over. He took a quick deep breath, applied more pressure on the sword and down, down….

Suddenly, lights flooded the house.

“Who turned the lights out?”

The silence shattered like shards of glass.

“Jide, how many times have I told you to stop playing Ninja with Grandpa, heh? Now, go to your room, take off those costumes and wash you hands. Dinner is ready in five minutes.”

“Yes, Mummy.” Jide walked off in the direction of his room, his shoulders hunched.

“Papa, you can come out of the cupboard space now, your favorite cane and hat is still on your favorite chair, safe from Jide’s wrath, for now.”

The old man sighed. Grown-ups could be such boors. The cupboard space was getting stuffy from the pipe anyhow but he had so much wanted to see the surprise on Jide’s face when he missed his target.

Oh well, another day, another place and he would teach Jide better tricks at being a Ninja.



28 thoughts on “Ninja” by (@)

  1. Awww, this is really sweet. But trust grown ups to be such killjoys, ruining Grandpa and Jide’s special play time, lol.
    Maid, you wrote this so well. High marks for your creativity!

  2. Funny, but interesting. Your detailing is really good,Maid. Keep it up!

    1. Will do. Thanks Pinkette.

  3. I love this….simplicity at it’s best!!!!

  4. lol, really nice.
    Was wondering at all the waiting of the old man.
    Well done Maid; brilliant.
    I think you meant to spell ‘bore’ instead of “boor”

    1. Thanks Abby, for noticing the error and your kind comment.

  5. Lovely, Lovely tale…It was easy to read yet the plot was so unexpected…Well done!

  6. Fred .C. Nwonwu (@Fredrick-chiagozie-Nwonwu)

    very well done. I love the simplicity. Kudos.

    1. I appreciate the comment, Fred.

  7. Wow. Nice one Maid. I like a mind that can think outa the box like this.
    Thumbs up!

    1. Me too. Thanks, RemiRoy.

  8. Good stuff. Maid maid. Seems this is your first work me’s reading. Not sure oh. But just think. Really liked it. Reminds of one @abby‘s works. Something about a little girl dreaming of becoming a president or something. It will be great for a movie to start like this. Maid, good stuff.

    1. Movie! Wow!. Thanks for the compliment, Jaywriter.

  9. Very nice. Here I was thinking we had an action story, only for you to go and shock me like that.

    This is very good stuff. Well done.

    1. Love the suspense too. Thanks, Uche.

  10. This is undoubtedly good.I have a thing for stories with very good attention paid to detail and also good descriptiond which is what maid has done here.

    Well done!!!

  11. Thanks, Lawal. I appreciate your feedback.

  12. lol…what a refreshing piece! Cute!
    My only grouse would be with the end. I don’t think you described it very well – from the intense scenario of the advancing ninja to a game a boy and his granpa are playing – you did a good job with the intense begining but with the end where everything is revealed to be a game theres a little confusion because you probably didn’t describe it well enough.

    Still its cute – the surprise element, the suspense and the twist is all there.

    1. Thanks for the comment, Afronuts. I really appreciate it. Your points noted.

  13. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! U really had me there. Here I was, analyzing, telling myself that a ninja didn’t feel any fear, or deliberate over any killing, and U come out with a sucker punch. Lovely piece Maid!!! Can’t stop laughing…Wow! U really went all out here, eh? Great piece!

    1. Thanks for the lovely comment Raymond. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece. :-)

  14. WOW!! lol…really nice piece,
    you kept me going and boom!
    i like this!

    1. Thanks Posh. Tickled by your comment. :-)

  15. This is real good Maid…keep it up.

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