A New Me….hopefully

A New Me….hopefully

IT’Z CRAYZEE 2 REALISE DAT ALL I’VE BIN DOIN WAZ SIMPLY HURTIN MYSELF ND INVARIABLY DOSE DAT CARE ABOUT MI!!

IT ACTUALLY TOOK A TAGGED NOTE (THNX JASMEEN) 4 MI 2 REALISE DAT I NEVA REALLY LIVED 4 D PRESENT, DAT IT WAZ EITHER I WAZ REMINISCING ABT D PAST OR I WAZ SCARED OF D UNKNOWN FUTURE. WHICH RESULTED IN ME NEVER REALLY EXPRESSING MYSELF D WAE I WANTED,ALWAYZ DENYING MA FEELINGZ ND NEVA BEING OPEN ABOUT D WAE I TRULY FELT ABT SOME THINGZ!!!

IT TOOK DAT SAME NOTE FOR ME 2 REALISE DAT KEEPIN THINGZ INSYDE U FOR AS LONG AS 8 YRZ ND CONSTANTLY THINKIN ABT DEM AINT D WAE 2 B HAPPY!! NEITHER IS WORRYING CONSTANTLY ABOUT D UNKNOWN FUTURE, D WAE 2 HAPPYNESS!!!

RATHER, ITZ LIVING 4 2DAE, TAKIN EACH DAE AS IT COMES ND LIVING IT 2 D FULLEST DAT REALLY MATTERS!! IT’S ALSO D TRU ND ONLY WAE 2 HAPPYNESS ND SELF FULFILMENT!!

ANOTHER THING DAT I REALISED WAS HOLDING ME BACK WAS D FACT DAT I CARED SOO MUCH ABOUT WAT PPL THOT OF MI ND WAT DEY WULD SAE IF I DID OR DIDN’T DO SUMFING!!
ADMITTEDLY, IT’Z GOOD 2 THINK ABT WAT PPL MYT SAE, BUH IN MY CASE, I CARED SOO MUCH DAT IT BECAME DIFFICULT 4 MI 2 ACTUALLY SAE OR DO NYFING I WNTD 2 DO, EVEN WEN I KNU, WEN I CULD ACTUALLY BET MY LYF ON D FACT DAT IT WAZ A GOOD THING!!

AFTER READIN JASMEEN’Z NOTE, I REFLECTED ND THOUGHT OF ERRTHING SHE HAD WRITTEN ND HOW IT WAS PRACTICALLY DIRECTED AT ME, (THO OF-CORSE IT WASN’T). I ALSO THOT OF HOW TRUE ERRTHIN SHE HAD WRITTEN WAZ, HOW I COULD TRY CHANGIN D WAE I LOOK AT FINGZ ND ALSO LET D UNNECESSARY “LOAD” THAT’Z BIN ON MY MYND 4 SOOO LONG JUST FADE AWAE SINCE MOST OF IT IZ OF PRACTICALLY LITTLE IMPORTANCE 2 MY LYFE NOW!!!

I’VE DECYDED DAT IF I CANT LISTEN 2 MY MYND ALONE, DEN I SHOULD ALSO START LISTENIN 2 WAT U GUYZ HAV BIN SAEIN 2 MI ALL ALONG!!

AS D-I SED, “WAKE UP ND SMELL D COFFEE, LET ERRTHIN GO!!”

ZAINAB SED, “STOP HURTIN URSELF ND FREE UR MYND!!”

SEKI SED, BE FREE, ESP AROUND MI, BE URSELF!!”

MOUKHTAR SED, “LIV UR LYF UR WAE, BE FREE!!!”

DEEPTY SED, “UR A SURVYVOR, JUST DO UR THING!! B-LIV IN UR-SELF!!”

TUMSY SED, “AIESHA, LET UR SPIRIT SOAR!!”

ND OF-COURSE, JASMEEN HARTLEY SED, “AIESHA, UR A FREE-SPIRITED PERSON, LET IT SHOW.. DO WAT U WANNA DO AS LONG AS IT AINT GONNA HURT NO-ONE!!”

SO DATZ EXACTLY WAT IM GONNA DO FROM NOW ON!!
I’M GONNA LIV 4 D PRESENT ND LET ERR UN-IMPORTANT THING IN MY LYFE FLOAT AWAY!!!
IT DEFINITELY WONT B EASY ND I MAY NOT B ABLE 2 CHANGE ALONE, OR I MAY B SLIPPING BAK IN2 DOSE MOODY THOTS, BUH I KNO DAT @LEAST IM GONNA HAV PPL DERE 4 MI, HU’LL RARELY LET MI FALL BACK IN2 DAT DEPRESSING PIT AGAIN!!!

I’M GONNA DO ALL D CRAYZEE THINGS I ALWAYS WNTD 2 DO, LIVE MY LYFE 2 D FULLEST, LET MY SPIRIT SOAR ND OF-COURSE ,JUST LYK JASMEEN, OPEN MY HEART COMPLETELY ND FALL IN LUV COMPLETELY, WIVOUT ANY INSECURITY OR TRUST ISSUES ND ALSO B-LIVING DAT I WON’T BE LIED 2 ND HURT AS BADLY AS BEFORE!!!!!!!!!

AFTER ALL,” ITZ BIN SED DAT IT’Z NOT D LENGTH OF UR LYF DT MATTERS, BUH RATHER D WIDTH!!”
IT’Z GONNA B A BUMPY RYDE, BUH I’M GONNA MAKE SURE I ENJOY IT ERR STEP OF D WAE!! I’M GONNA MAKE SURE I DEFINITELY DON’T REGRET ANYFING I DO FROM NOW ON, COZ I’M GONNA MAKE SURE ITZ XACTLY WAT I WANNA DO!!!



5 thoughts on “A New Me….hopefully” by Aiesha (@Aiesha)

  1. Well Aeesha, that’s the spirit. I’m glad that even though it might not be an easy thing to do, you have people around who are willing to help you. Now, that’s a gift. Utilise it well and live your life. You’ll only have it once.

  2. 2cute4u (@2cute4u)

    You go Girl!

  3. Well.
    Okay.
    Congratulations.

  4. I wish you didnt have to write in tall man lettering. It makes you sound angry and like you are yelling at your reader and I am sure you are not:)

  5. @Aiesha … well-tried… but I think small characters might have prove a better way of expressing yourself… keep on writer…

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