not bad for a nice attempt.
your transitions were a bit clumsy and confusing.
your tenses were inconsistent
use of suspense is nice
cut down on the words and descriptions, allow the reader to […]
Hilarious and yet sad. it depicts succinctly the mediocre mentality that has pervaded our society today and also highlights what we can hope to reap- injuries and loss of lives, which hopefully will start from the […]