Ok. I am not a fan of serial works unless I follow from the beginning.
@Ayoks, I like the piece. Just a lil error:
…I just muttered words which seemed to have *desert* me… Shoulda been deserted.

The […]

Nice story-poem… Keep writing and ‘experimenting with words for artsake’, Z. Well done. $ß.

Movie is ‘Three idiots’ most likely.

Poems come in different styles these days… This became rhythmical after a while but you ought to aim for a more uniform structure so it could be really seen as a ‘Poem’. […]

I enjoyed the part of the cruise.. Seems like you knew your setting very well. The way you slipped in the names of the musicians and their songs was neat.
When I read bout the serial murder, I felt sad not […]

Tales of nigeria’s doom plenty o… Spacing the paragraphs for each speaker would have helped too. Revisit this, smoothen out the rough edges and all would be well with it.

I enjoyed some parts esp. the naming […]

The lender huh? Somehow he still lent life to Obi. The words in this piece. I comot cap o…
Well done.$ß.

Hmmm. Guy U be pastor? Your poems seem to all be based on God’s words. Good thing.
I like this one better than the last.
Keep writing and getting better.
Well done. $ß.

Motivational.

Well done. $ß.

Something is definitely not right with the Kess girl jare.
You’ve got syntax issues. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the tori.
Well done. $ß.

Interesting story. Will be waiting for the next to drop.

Somehow I feel that troubled girl is the woman of his dreams and he doesn’t know yet.
I’d like to spend some days in Natpris as an observer.
Well […]

Things like this should happen once in a while, so you have something to write about. Lol.
Glad you closed the door, if not someone or something would have come knocking on your wee small door.
Well done. $ß.

Nice poem. Killimunati.
Since you are rhyming:

An era of the new sun* would still work.
Oh war, let *earthly/earth’s* peace cease(the presence of be calls for past tense of cease-ceased.)
An era of *human* […]

Rape. Almost a norm these days, sadly. If you get them, cut off their fucking balls.
Keep writing. $ß.

Good message. Not so good a delivery system… Rewrite it later like Mimi says and you might be suprised how it turns up better. Keep writing…$ß.

Na who go blame am? Everybodi don turn oliver twist na.
I bin dey wonder about de english wey boku for dis tori, but you go sort am na. Welledone…$ß.

Someday, when you come back to this piece, you will be able to tell straight away what works and what doesn’t. It paints a clear picture though, of someone prepping for a journey of life.
Keep writing. $ß.

Nice… You write well.

Check: The lights were back to *been* being bright…
Well done. $ß.

Beautiful.
Well done. $ß.

This is what it is: African sci-fi. Africans too can write.
Kudos for an excerpt well written. Wonder what the whole story reads like… Bien hecho. $ß.

I like it…maybe cos the story strikes a personal chord. It’s a neat work too.
Well done LMP. Keep writing. $ß.

It’s not fair what one has to read here nowadays.

Shit happens, Andy and sadly some parents bury their children deep in it.

To your story: it is littered with mispellings and improper tense usage, so kindly […]

Just starting out as a writer. Oh well, may your ink never stop flowing.
Well done. $ß.

I had to go to part 1 to see if the story was redeemable.
The story reads like a nigerian movie and so does the capitalized title in the final paragraph. Part 1 was slightly better though.
The work could […]

It’s a good read. Enjoyable actually. It has that childlike thing bout it that usually makes a story read better. But then it gets to a point, and I tell myself – this girl is way too smart and intuitive for a […]

*exhales*

Chemo, you deliberately wove this story so we could fall in love with the ordinariness* of this family and then you hit us with the shock of the flood. The feeling of suprise – though somewhat […]

Hehehe@magic. They already know that’s the way forward these days.

.@sanjules. Surely, you can manage to change your standard comment. Lol. For a moment I thought I was reading the wrong chapter after reading the exact reply you gave in part 1.. Default message I guess. […]

Hooked… The closing line is enough to keep one hooked into the next. Well done, Jules. $ß.

Hmmm. This is something I want to read. Going through the backlog of series can be a… But this I think, would be worth it.
Love the dialogues and description. Gotta see what you’ve been serving before…
Well done. $ß.

Simple lines and message. Sweet. Well done Topaz. $ß.