See T-R-O-U-B-L-E
Well done jare

So funny. It was so engaging it took away the awkwardness of the typos and occasional switch of tenses

I think for a short story of less than 2500 words you tried to do too much. The Cynthia part was just flat. He met her, liked her, chased her casually she said no and the next time we see her she has changed her […]

They did ask for steamy.

That sex crazed at fifteen? Perhaps my sec school had mainly sheltered kids

You can edit and post it again. It does take away the freshness when it is reposted.

Ha, sometimes the innocent looking ones aren’t so innocent.
I found this predictable though.

Hmmm. I think you need to work on your characters so that they read genuine

This was an awkward read for me. Why no quotation mark? you did a lot of telling. some typos eg tin air rather than thin, the word massage for message. This post will benefit from a lot of editing.
well done

I loved reading this. Lyrical. beautifully written. You should write more prose.

Reminds me of events I thankfully never witnessed.
Well done

I loved the story and found it funny.
The writing will benefit from a lot of editing like all the preamble before Sandy can be cut.
Then she could not possibly be blushing about the film, maybe gushing.
You […]

In the banner I can see “a writing sample between 200 and 1000 words” Which is it 800 or 1000 for upper limit?

@admin deadline is 20 june 2010. I presume you mean 2012.
No word of when and where the workshop would be. It would help if we knew.

It’s amazing what rage can do.
A number of women remain in abusive relationships for the wrong reason. Both deaths could have been prevented in this story if the woman had acted earlier.
There were a few typos.
Well done.

People do get uneasy when a single young lady is driving an expensive car especially when her parents do not belong to the upper class of the society. It’s like she is blocking her chances of meeting a guy.
Well done.

You hate doctors who prescribe before seeing lab results? Well doctors are taught to treat patients and not lab results. And if doctors wait for results before prescribing quite a number of nigerians would be dead.

Aww, the bird died. Enjoyed reading this.

No be small thing.
You sabi write jor

I loved this. You did good. You did real good. The way you wrote about the internal conflict in the mc was cool. your intro was beautiful. The way the relationship ended was perfect. Waiting for your next post

Chicken Soup! you mean this actually happened. Chicken soup stories are supposed to be non fiction. Talk about life mirroring fiction.

I ditto seun on this
@RIO you sound so matter of fact about this story. Have you read this before?

I don’t usually read plays. Glad I read this cos I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done

I like fast paced stories but a little slowing would not hurt your writing. looking foward to your next post

yep it does.

Fishy smell down there bcos of eating fish? Abeg make d person check first if she has vaginosis before accusing d mackerel

I think it worsens it when it is used as a cover up. Stinky smell plus perfume does not go down well. So the idea should be perfume on clean fresh clothes and the body.
Good write up.
Smell paradox huh?

Beautiful writing. But leading us on like that…

I thoroghly enjoyed reading that story, well done