• The air was very humid and the sky, therapeutically calm. A column of soldier ants went about their business dutifully and quite oblivious of the armadillo that recently moved to the neighborhood. Just out of […]

  • He was a miracle to all of us, this beautiful child. His mother had kept him a secret from us. While her stomach grew to accommodate his coming to be she went on a trip to the village. She returned with a child […]

  • i’m just seeing this.

    @adaobi on this particular one, i didn’t notice the part about it being a memoir until my I had made my 1st comments came in. my reply to that was supposed to correct that impression but […]

  • i really liked this. you used the old english style but it didn’t come off as pretentious. it was fresh, whimsical and fun to read. the yoruba references are on point and the message is clear. really well done. […]

  • thanks for the feedback. you are definitely spot on. there is room to improve clarity in some areas. part 2 is yet to be posted. please stay tuned.

  • i wished this was longer. it was really interesting until it just ended. the characters are definitely relate-able and I enjoyed how the story unfolded. it gives a great insight into the marriage institution and i think it can be go deeper. really nice work.

  • good one here.. really honest and to the point. sounds like the beginning of the naija version of eat pray love. you should develop this into full fledged story. i would like to see how it plays out for the MC.

  • crestor commented on the post, Alagemo 8 years, 10 months ago

    I really loved this piece. the flow made is a breeze to read and i love the message.

    the alagemo song, is that original or is it a real song? if it is original then my fear that the artistry of our ancestors was dead is slightly alleviated.

  • thanks for the feedback guys. i’m still polishing this one.

    @myne and adaobi, thanks for spotting those typos I will correct them in the polished version.

    @adaobi you are right about the shortening of the name. I will work on that. and the punctuation too. any other rough spots that might need more polishing?

  • crestor posted on the forum topic Lets write a story in the group Group logo of Never Ending StoriesNever Ending Stories: 8 years, 10 months ago

    “Nice ass” she said with a smile as she turned to Mike. “I still think you can do better. I mean, she’s my sister and all but

  • crestor posted on the forum topic Lets write a story in the group Group logo of Never Ending StoriesNever Ending Stories: 8 years, 10 months ago

    She stood with a steely smirk, enjoying the shock on Mike’s face. Finally, with one step into the room she said “You can’t say I didn’t knock”.

  • i started getting into it as the story progressed. good story. it seemed like you are writing story for highschool kids or thereabouts though, as if you deliberately choose not to explore the deeper more adult (not xxx but age > 20) oriented parts of your characters. with this line “Their house had this lonely […]

  • crestor commented on the post, E go better 8 years, 10 months ago

    nice story. if someone told me i would spend 2 paragraphs reading about someone taking a pee I would have argued but you made it work. dealing with some body parts in writing without being vulgar or clinical can be a challenge but you did your thing with a nice play on words. one thing, […]

  • nice one. lazy old me read the comments before trying to figure out what she was.

  • btw thanks for the feedback.

  • i found this rather difficult to read as a result of all the typos. i also think the story is not complete yet. take time to correct the tense and grammatical errors and develop the story further. keep writing.

  • crestor commented on the post, Naked 8 years, 10 months ago

    nice work. the twist was well hidden. though i must wonder, what does the speaker mean when they say “Come and get me; others I can’t let” since the whole piece is addressed to the Lord.

  • im still trying to fine tune the story so I’m very open to detailed comments especially on the areas where you had to read it twice to understand.

  • Very nice story. Your style is as adeniyi said reminiscent of the classics but I got a bit tired of all the he said/she said/they said etc. Also capitalization of the first letter of nouns (Aziza most especially) was missing in quite a few places. check that.

  • yeah i didn’t see the sister coming either. there are so many possibilities with this story especially since Jeremiah is a killer and we haven’t even started to uncover that yet. this was really good. the pace was on point, the story is strong and you tell it very skillfully. I eagerly await the sequel. […]

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