“Good morning. Welcome to to Prytel Wireless. My name is Tunji Lekan. How may I help you?….” Yes, this is me, back at my job at 2:30 am, a time other normal people would be asleep. Honestly, I must admit that if, say, my father were Bill Gates, meaning I wouldn’t have to work a … Continue reading Call Center Crazies
The first thing I noticed as my eyes flew open was the sweat. Sweat was pouring down my face in spite of the air conditioner. It WAS cold inside the room and I shivered a bit. Yet I was sweating. Then there was the light. It was bright, blinding, harsh. It was the sun. I … Continue reading The Nightlies (1 – Bennett)
We got out of the school building without running into her, much to my relief. We still had to walk home, though, and only goodness knew if she lived anywhere around. Last thing I wanted was to run into her along the route home. I was almost sure the same thing that happened back in … Continue reading The Nightlies (3 – Sandra)
The sound gradually filtered into my consciousness. But the bright light was sudden, blinding, harsh and burning, all at once. It wasn’t anything like the fire but was so intense, I blinked. I blinked? Yes, I realized. I blinked! I could blink! And move my hands. And turn away from the blazing sun I had … Continue reading The Nightlies 2 – Sandra
Name: Nnandez Godson Aniagudo Description: A Nigerian revolutionary tries to free his people from a government mind control device. I held my breath as a soldier walked right past me oblivious to my presence there. I felt my heart pounding in my chest and was almost sure the soldier heard it too. But then … Continue reading What If Nigerians Were Being Mind Controlled By The Government?
The ear-piercing screech rent the air and, again, I tried to cover my ears but I couldn’t. I still couldn’t move my hand or any other part of my body but I could see, hear and smell with astounding clarity. And I could feel the heat as the soft breeze blew hot air in my … Continue reading The Nightlies 1 – Sandra
“Ekaette! Eka…..where is that girl sef?” My ten year old son peered at me over his handheld game. “Hmmm, if you’re planning to give her those clothes to wash, I guess you’re intending never to wear them again. Who knows, this time she might wash them in engine oil!” I looked at the clothes in … Continue reading Ekaette!!
“The Lord sent Jonah to Nineveh to the…the lord sent Jonah to the people of….the lord sent…aaargh!” I groaned in frustration. This just wasn’t working. I wasn’t cut out for any kind of reading. If it came to looking cool hanging out with chicks, just looking fly with the guys then I’m your guy any … Continue reading The day Jonah became a fish!
I put one foot forward. Then another. Then the previous one. Then the other. With each step I took, my heart seemed o beat louder in my chest, like a performance of a star gangan drum player. I could now see the door. It loomed large ahead of me despite the fact that it was … Continue reading Hurtful Pleasures
I had presented myself at the Principal’s secretary’s office and was about telling her that the Principal had sent for me when I heard a voice from his office bellow; “MARY! MARY! COME HERE IMMEDIATELY!” Mary, the principal’s secretary fled her seat like a scalded cat. When our Principal is angry, everybody (and I mean … Continue reading Rats! Part 2
“……you have been accused of getting into students’ lockers at night, eating their provisions and wreaking havoc on their other properties in addition to the constant noise you make that regularly prevents students from sleeping properly. How do you plead, guilty or guilty?” Of course, the rat didn’t respond, so the boy holding it up … Continue reading Rats! Part 1
“…..and I don’t even know what to do. She says she still wants to be with me but acts like she doesn’t. In fact, I’m just tired, tired of this whole….” So was I; tired of listening. Again, my friend, Segun had called me to regale me with stories of the intricacies of his love … Continue reading Being a good listener……
“OPEN THIS GATE!” a shrill female voice yelled. I stood and stared at the sea of humanity that stretched out before me. We were amassed outside the gates of the Government Secondary School, our center for the University Matriculation Examinations (JAMB, to most Nigerian students) and those in charge of the center had locked the … Continue reading Exam-in-(my N)ation!
“These crazy people”, my boss huffed under his breath. PHCN had done exactly what they knew how to do best. The problem with this for me was that the cybercafé where I worked as an attendant was at the top floor of a three storeyed building. Following a fire scare the previous year, the landlord … Continue reading From PHCN, with love……
Of course, I got to lectures late. What self respecting big boy like me comes to lectures early? That’s for all those silly efficos that carry textbooks bigger than their heads with authors whose names they can’t pronounce. Yes, those same effico that will still be counting ceiling boards in the exam hall. Me? I … Continue reading Battle of the Bowel