My friends, let us leave that side of the gist.
Let us now hear the gist of this scientist
Who (possibly) was in that ill-fated ship.
He’s a physician who gave charges cheap.
As such, he lived in a hut in Southby
Quite close to Southampton with kid and wife.
He’s a beaver in his lab all the time
And didn‘t care much dime about other climes.
He took in great alcohol at leisure
Yet could cure ailments however their nature.
It was in an inn. The men were drinking.
A drunken argument led Reb Billand
Into boasting, ‘I’m going to sail in that ship.
It is a vow to which I firmly stand.’
Everyone in the shabby inn laughed.
They knew him to be a poor physician
And could not travel in the Titanic
Unless he had changed into a magician.
Besides, the ship was leaving in two days
How could he make the money up for the fare?
This fact really did bother him greatly
But he just went boasting like he didn’t care.
‘Too much rum has loosened your tongue Billand.’
A throaty voice advised, ‘go home now
Tomorrow I bet you’d swear a denial.’
‘That’s true’ the inn man agreed with a bow.
Annoyed that they were not buying his boast,
He staggered out of the inn late that night.
He swore (begad) he would sail in the ship
But deep down he wondered if he was right.
He got home to his wretched wife and kid
And told them he’d sail in the Titanic
His wife laughed a loud and prolonged laughter.
And said, ‘that would be a real magic.’
She reminded him how costly tickets were
And that the ship was leaving in two days.
This enraged him and in drunken stupor,
He charged at her and left slaps on her face.
While wife and kid sobbed themselves to sleep
He sat down drunkenly to really think
They all seemed to disregard his prescience
That’s why he would carry it to the brink.
He had to prove every one of them wrong
By going in that ship to America.
But first he had to complete his research
On a useful medical formula
He had been working on it for long now
He thought if he could complete it that night,
It would be a good reason to go there
And sell it so as to get a good life.
In his stupor he went into his lab.
He worked till late the following morning
And (by accident) got the formula
For which over five years, he had been working.
Billand dashed out with the sun in his eyes
He was calling his wife, ‘Honey… Honey’
She came with swollen face from the kitchen.
He petted her and told her she’s lovely.
So as to squeeze a few pennies from her
Enough to buy himself that morning’s shot.
He went out with a song he only sang
Whenever he was having joy in glut.
At the bar he started boasting again
Not of the ship but of his discovery.
He was boasting to all the drinkers that
He had got the fastest cure for TB.
A young man amid the lot showed interest
And gave his name as Mr Leving Slant.
He was the nephew of Leving Leslie
The rich American cotton merchant
Who had been suffering from tuberculosis.
Slant talked Billand to treating his uncle
Who had to sail in the ship the next day
That he would pay him well for the trouble.
Billand wished aloud that his kid and wife
Could come along, This was granted at once
They left the bar at once to see Leslie
Who had emaciated to a few ounce.
The physician promised he’d be alright
In a few days. For that, he got three tickets
And a fabulous amount of money
Which he thankfully tucked in his pockets.
The dock at Southampton was filled with souls
Getting on board and those wishing farewell.
Many comments were made about the ship
They called it ‘the unsinkable vessel,’
Reb Billand had the opportunity
To meet parish priest Rev Father Brown
Who prayed for them and wished them a swell trip.
By now, Graham Farley was making sounds.
Billand followed Slant to The VIP’s.
And quickly began tending his patient.
He’d join his family in their deck later
But it would be after rendering treatment.
This went on for a few number of days
When the drugs began to work like magic
In three days, the sick merchant was up strong
This spread Billand’s name throughout Titanic.
Leslie paid him very well and promised
He was going to give him heaven on earth
Once they hit the soil of America.
Billand just gave thanks for all it was worth
Slant got green. He too was a physician
He could smoke Billand and his family
To claim the new drug and register it
By his name. He thought that’d make him happy.
The physician’s invited to a ball
Organised one night at the VIP’s.
It was a gathering of ladies and gents
With no shadows of call girls or hippies.
Mrs Leving called him who had cured Leslie
To come and do a waltz briskly with her
He left his drink on the table to waltz
Then he returned to drink without bother.
That moment, he got into hysterics.
He dipped his trembling hand into his pockets
Snatching out a small bottle container
He shakily swallowed its brown tablets
It countered the effect of the poison.
He dashed off the ballroom to his family
Who in their calm were peacefully asleep.
He rushed to check his safe immediately.
Someone must be after his formula
He got the safe holding his documents
Including the formula for the drug
He went out and returned in a moment,
He had forced two liftmen with a jack knife
To keep it in the vault safe of the ship
He got the safe key throwing it away
To save his papers for the rest of the trip.
He returned to meet a gang of masked men.
They pounced on him and started beating him.
Yet he didn’t mention anything to them
Even when they brutally broke his limb.
When he would not talk, they made for his wife
But Billand held on to his hardihood.
Don’t you fail to kill me after all this
Lest I will hang you all on your manhoods.’
Just as the first man pounced on the woman,
Dragging her down and ripping her nightie,
The ship (as if against the act) cried out
Aloud like a million locomotives
Passing through a tunnel the same time.
That very cry took all minds from New York.
The Titanic was in cold agony,
Her great hulls had smashed against an iceberg…
…Because of that nasty development
I couldn’t follow the story to the end.
You should see the terror which gripped us all.
Every aspiration began to fall.
I luckily got off danger area
With little hope till I saw Carpathia
Which came calmly for us who tarried on.
So our gist becomes an unfinished one.
The ship with its structure, was a failure
Thus my poem, though a failure, has structure.