Memories of that day rest in the bosom of my heart like a dagger
I had gone into your room to help wash,
Your little niece who knows nothing of the double-edged sword ones of the man I’ve been with since 6
You came at me and started making advances
despite my not wanting to play, as you tagged it
You called me to get closer
Your mother cannot know of this, I promise, you said
“But, uncle what do you want to do?”, I’d reply
Just want to show you something and you slung out your newly bought mobile phone, Nokia X3, the latest as of then
Brother, who is this for?
Mummy Junior? No, you said
But Junior cannot use a phone yet, his hands are too minute to hold this type of phone
You smiled and said.
You, my dear, I bought it just for you and no one else
Then, I was fooled by the feeling of having a personal mobile phone, finally, I would be able to call Papa, whom I have eaten my heart out for in the village and a little bit of pride amidst my fellow mates in school who do not own one yet
What a gullible me, little did I know that I was walking directly into the fisher’s net with the bait it let out in my mouth
Thank you brother, I will use it very well, may God bless you and continue to provide for you, I’d say
Amen, my dear, Amen, you know, I want to go shopping tomorrow, maybe I will buy new clothes for you
and that was how it started, your hands went deep and I screamed, Uncle Matthew, stop, it’s painful
What is wrong with you Nessa?
Don’t you want the phone?
I will give it to you and even buy you other fine materials
But, Uncle, what are you doing?
Our teacher says we should not allow anyone to touch us there
But, am I anyone?
I am your Uncle, the one given birth to after your mother, could I hurt you?
But it hurt and I let out the tears that had been welling up in my eyes,
No, Uncle, I can not do this and ‘gbam’, you grabbed me as I made way to run out of the room and threw me on the bed,
I knew hell was getting lose as you loosen the belt on your trousers
Uncle, please, I beg you in the name of God,
I am just a small 13-year-old girl
Em, the phone, please take it, I don’t want it anymore,
Just please let me go and continue my washing the clothes outside before Aunty comes back.
Aargh aargh, Uncle NO please No,
I made a final attempt to escape your grasp but slam, on my face landed a slap from your rigid hand
I knew it was here, you were naked and forcefully tore the dress Aunty bought for me.
Uncle please, I’d continually pleaded for you to release me from your monstrous hold and let me go, but these all fell on deaf ears
***Ten minutes out***and out of the room, you left.
My eyes gave out more than it ever had that day
To talk was an issue, even when Aunty flogged me for not responding to her inquiry of
WHY ARE YOU CRYING VANESSA?
DID ANYONE FLOG YOU?
DID YOU INJURE YOURSELF?
What am I to do?
How am I to say it?
That your husband, Daddy Junior forced himself on me?
And there was nothing to do ’bout it!
“If your sister hears anything of what happened yesterday, I will personally kill you, your threats were not just words to me, I took them seriously as it gets to me and I held on to them firmly.”
Of course, I didn’t want to die, so I had to shut my mouth in my SILENT SOUNDS.
Days after days, I still hear myself screaming that night
That huge incision into me
My agonizing scream and what effect it took on me.
Many days, I couldn’t even walk properly and I could tell no one about it.
You left a dagger in me
A ghost borne by you is left to taunt my soul day and night.
I’ll always remember, even when you die
I’ll always carry my memories, it can not be forgotten, only let go.
Do not leave a dagger in one’s heart, it’s dangerous.
From a friend that cares,
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