Marriage: Women Trapped In Between Misogyny And Dogma

“Isaiah 4:1- In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”
If a woman mistakenly speaks a goat will open his mouth and say “Calm down, its a man that will marry you or do not talk too much for there will come a day that your father will exchange you for a goat, or you are a woman if you talk too much you will stay long in your father’s house”.
The central message is “You will not marry if you are opinionated”
Marriage is the golden cup we keep dangling like a bait in front of women to get them to behave, it is the whip held to flog cows (women) to compel obedience.
We make the boy child seem like a mini god, o ye women when your husband is talking do not talk! Why do I have a mouth? Who said it that the opinions of a woman should not be heard? Let that person come and tell me to my face if he/she is mad enough.
You will not marry is the ultimate punishment meted out on women. A man does not make you complete. If you require a man to make you complete that is when you are a disgrace. That is when any little thing happens you let your whole world crumble because your whole world is centered on a man.
That’s why a woman will pretend to be what she is not just because she is desperate for marraige. You see that bible passage? If men are scarce and they think women are desperate for their precious names to save them from ‘disgrace’ I want to remind you that
•Not everyone will get married
•African women never changed their names, it is the same way we forgot how to take care of our natural hair that we forgot this and now we let them threaten us with marraige. We forgot this but we did not forget the part where women cannot lead because of tradition.
•Women marry women so if men want to use it as bait, it no longer works
•There are open relationships
Apparently it’s a disgrace to answer the name given to you by your parents. That’s why African women attach so much importance to the title ‘Mrs’. Do men carry marraige on their heads the way women do? That is why they will continue to think you are less because you need them to remove the ‘disgrace’ that your name carries.
Because I am a woman I have to keep on changing my identity. We cannot respect a woman completely no matter her achievement except she is married. But do we do that to men? We have a serious problem with women and many who benefit from this inequality do not want to change it.
My paternal grandmother gave me the name Ofia-Inyinya and I wear it with pride, it cannot be a disgrace to me. Nwodo Blessing Ofia-Inyinya is not a disgrace. Your name is not a disgrace. You were born a woman, that is not an embarrassment.
You were not born with some kind of disgrace that requires the magical touch of a man to remove. Never let anyone threaten you with marraige. Speak! Let your voice be heard and anyone who is not happy with it can stick their heads in a grinding mill.”

©Nwodo Blessing Ofia-Inyinya



One thought on “Marriage: Women Trapped In Between Misogyny And Dogma” by Ezeobi Tochukwu Charles (@Ezeobi)

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