I AM JUST A BOY, I AM NOT A BURDEN
This statement fell out from his mouth as his mother lynched him with a whip on the ground. He shouted on top of his voice defending his manity, voice shaken and hands akimbo. There on the street I stood watching him enduring and fighting to be freed from the grip of his mother. I watched trembling like a chick beaten by rain as I thought of a way to rescue him but in my country, you don’t buy wares you can’t sell at the end of the day. How do we then fold our breaths and pocket our tears seeing this? Is this not enough reason to feign death in the arms of the air when you are seen as a burden by the same woman that births you? Does tears and agony reflects the essence of living? Are we always meant to substitute laughter for tears and joy for sadness as boys? A giving day, week of deadly pains, a giving sun, harshness of the rocky pains. How do we define torture in the hands of those who are meant to safeguard us, how?
When a five years boy is told that he was old enough to take care of himself, when a ten years old boy is told how to build his own family, when a seven years old boy is told how to take care of his sister, how to defend her, how to make her not to think more of their parents ‘absence; then, desperation will set in and confusion will table notes of submission in his eyes.
I have heard a woman said to her neighbour “wow, boys! You must be really busy! I bet that is a lot of work- having all boys!” are boys really burden to raise? Life itself is a lot of work. Parenting itself is a lot of work. Raising girls also is a lot of work. What in this world that does not really have lots of work in it? We are just boys; we are not burden to who so ever that is raising us. We might seem stubborn in nature, we might seem to be strong agitating or protesting in what we think and believe that is right to do but not definitely a burden to the world. To the society, to our family and to whosoever that thinks we are. Mind you, some people are just talking and not thinking.
Why would you call God’s gift a burden? It gets a little tiring hearing our mothers say this on a regular basis. In reality, we are blessing to our immediate environment, to our family and the society at large. It is not because we never get dirt, it is not because we are better than our counterpart, it is not because we don’t give problems or headache to our parents but its normal to children in nature.
Although some parents see boys as burden when they yell and get worked up when boys act like boys, but this challenge can help you also as parents as an opportunity to practice how to respond in a godly way. How to overlook somethings and be normal for once. Some parents get frightened at the thought of having boys,, they fear how they will raise them, some are also afraid on how to raise them to become godly. But in all, is there really such a difference between raising boys and girls? And why does parents or the society at large act as if girls come from Venus and boys come from Mars? Why do we have such a mindset in our society?
It is relatively uncalled for for a parent to keep complaining that a certain gender of children gives him or her problem than the other. Why is no one writing an article or book bemoaning how ugly it is to be a mother or father of three girls? Why is the accusation finger pointing towards the direction of boys? why?
Just like that boy I saw on the ground beaten black and red while his sister sat honourably smiling while he was beaten. They committed the same offense. Yes, they crossed the main road together. He was being beaten because he was a boy and supposed to guide his sister or rather hold his sister’s hand sheepishly before they cross. Obviously, that should be the reason why he was beaten and his sister was pardoned because she haven’t gotten to the age of crossing the road herself or probably like the way the society claimed that boys are stronger than the girls.
Is there really a big gender gap between these children? Steve Biddulph, an Australia children psychologist made a lot of money convincing us that the two sexes are divergent that we need to buy entirely different books to help raise them properly. Ultimately, stereotype exist in raising children because they reflect the realities we see daily life. Indeed there is really stigma in our society, the stigma of girls over boys. It seems, about having family having a lot of boys
I am not really sure if there is burden in parenting boys maybe when I become a father I may see from another view but for now, base
© John Chizoba Vincent